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Staying Free by Shinobi

One Part

It's an X/X Japan fic. As much as I love the band, I know nothing of their disbandment *hangs head in shame* So the details of that part is kinda made up. *blush* Erm... anything else? I'm not so good at writing, so C&C would be nice ^^ (The only other fic I've written was a FF VIII one I've never finished... Seiftis. I really liked it as well...) It's er... very generic IMO, but, hey.... ----------------------------------------------------------- May 3rd, 1998 Kimi no itami ureshisou ni hane o hirogete mai furitekuru Hiru no hikari kimi no kizu o daite yasashiku hirogeteyuku You looked happy with your pain as you flew down upon me The daylight reached to kindly embrace your pain The man's long blonde hair fell about his face as he walked calmly out of the apaato. His normally sparkling, cheerful brown eyes stared at the ground, gazing at the pavement and his feet. He knew it was pointless to try and hide his face, to pretend that it wasn't him. They knew who he was. He soon heard the familiar click of camera's, heard the slight, steady hum of camcorders. He heard shoes clattering against the stone beneath foot, and voices asking the same questions over and over. "Hayashi-san, can you..." "Yoshiki... Hayashi Yoshiki..." "Can you tell us..." "Yoshiki?" He sighed inwardly. He didn't want to talk to them. He didn't want to talk to anyone. Why couldn't they just leave him alone? He resisted the urge to groan and rub his temples, and instead shoved his hands into his pockets, attempting to block out their voices. They didn't care about him, about how he felt. He knew that sooner or later he was going to have to say something, but not now. Not so soon. And definitely not to them. His words would become twisted, become lies. The fans deserved to hear something first, and hear it direct, not through some third party. He finally reached his car. He mentally noted how long teh trek across the small car park had seemed to take. He almost turned his head to glance at his followers, before he got in the car. He felt faint, hollow amusement at calling them 'his followers'. Normally, that would attribute to fans following with pens, autograph books or whatever else they wanted signed. These people weren't them. These were just reporters who wanted to know his every personal detail so they could throw uncaringly into the publics view. Yoru no yami ni ochiteyukeba wasurete shimau koto na no ka mo Yureru omoi tsuka no ma no yume chiisa na higeki Furu hoshi no kazu kazuetara naku no ni aki tarou Warau tsuki no aosa kizu o nadete tojiteyuku I had forgotten everything when the sky fell to night Small tragedies and shaking memories sit at the gates to my dreams The countless stars probably cried as they set While the rising days just laugh, closing their wounds * * * "Yoshiki?" He whispered quietly, sadness evident in his voice. "Hmn?" The blonde looked up. "Why? What did...? What...?" His eyes showed the beginnings of tears which he tried to hide by staring fixedly at the empty glass in his hands. Yoshiki closed his eyes momentarily, not anwering. "I... I don't know..." He replied finally, biting his bottom lip. "Toshi just... he... he said that..." Yoshiki stopped, and hung his head. He felt his cheeks become damp as tears rolled down them. Leaning against the table, he placed his head in his hands, finally allowing emotion to overwhelm him. He felt his friends arms wrap around his shoulders, and his head rest against his own. "It's not your fault," he heard him whisper, along with the distinct smell of alcohol. "But I'm the leader. I should have done something. I should have known-" the blonde started. "Shh..." the pink haired man interrupted. X had been their life, their dream. They thought it would go on forever. And now it had ended. The blonde pulled away from the other's hold, and raised a slender hand to brush away the tears that fell from the other's beautiful brown eyes. Seeing the pain mirrored from his own, he spoke, "We'll continue the dream. Find another singer. Just us?" he told the other, pulling him towards him, holding him close. He felt the other man's arms slip around his waist, and his head rest against his chest. "Just us?" he asked. "Always." * * * May 2nd, Present Day Why? What went wrong? Was it something I done? Stay free your misery furisosogu kanashimi o Sono ude no naka ni dakishimete Kiss your misery kareru made odoru darou Subete uketomeru yo kono mama Stay free your misery And hold me in your arms until the sadness goes away Kiss your misery And we'll wither together until we can learn to live like this It was the same story. Every year. He asked the same questions, knowing he'd get no reply. Kanashii to iu naraba sora no aosasae mo Todokanai mo dokashisa ni kimi wa nakun darou Kimi no chiisa na karada tsutsunderu yume wa Itami o nomikomi Azayaka ni naru Gentle words can only go so far Because you can't find them when you're crying Wrapping your small body in brilliant, vivid dreams Why did it have to end like that? What happened? To the dream? To everything? Stay free my misery te o nobaseba kanjiru Sono itami o ryoute de uketomete Stay free your misery itoshisa o nikushimi o subete uketomete sono mama Stay free your misery Stay free my misery Stretch out and take my pained hands Stay free your misery And take this gentle hatred as well Yoshiki sighed and glanced at the clock. Whatever he done, every year it was the same. He couldn't forget, no matter how hard he tried. It wasn't that he wanted to forget, he just didn't want to feel this pain anymore, to feel as if he should have done something, anything. He stared at the phone, at the answering machine. The red numbers indicating messages, were bleeping. He'd lost count of how many times he'd been phoned. His friends, his family, relatives... Even those he'd not spoken to in ages phoned. He'd ignored them all. Sheet music lay by the piano, angrily strewn across the top. Everything he'd tried had seemed wrong. He stood up and ran his hand along the keys, hearing the clashing sounds and finding a small comfort in them. Sitting back down on the black covered stool, he placed his hands on a couple of chords and began playing. His head rocked in time to the tune, his hands delicately playing each chord perfectly. He played the last note, and rested his head against the wood, not noticing the silent tears that rolled down his face and onto the keys. Stay free my misery furisosogu kanashimi o Sono ude no naka ni dakishimete Stay free your misery kareru made odoru darou Subete uketomete kono sora no shite de kimi ga warau Stay free my misery And hold me in your arms until the sadness goes away stay free your misery And we'll wither together until the sky can learn to love your laughter Why did you have to leave? Didn't you realise your wings were here all the time? My koi... I know it's selfish, but... I need you... Flame of misery itoshi sa o nikushimi o uke tomete It's a flame of sadness ude no naka de kudaite shi-mae subete Pieces of sadness orisosogu ame ga ya ni tara yukou Life is going on kakeru made aruite yuku dake Stay free, my misery...my misery Flame of misery Recieve my love and my hate It's a flame of sadness Breaking in my arms everything Pieces of sadness If the pouring ran ever ends, let's go Life is going on Until it withers, just keep on walking Stay free, my misery...my misery ------------------------------------------------------ So there you go, my first ever jrock fic *sigh* C&C if you feel like it, please?

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