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Fate Part 1-2 by Jerien
part 1	part 2	part 3	part 4	part 5
Part 1
Part 1: The First Phase of Change “ Die, do you love me?” “ You know I do…if I don’t, who will…” The red haired man gently brushed away a few strands of blue hair from his lover’s face, the younger had blushed a slight pink. “ You said it like I am worthless…” “ Come to think about it, can you tell me how many people can tolerate that brattiness and still love you…I must be one really great guy huh…?” Die laughed earning a smack from Toshiya. Toshiya pouted cutely. “Itai…!!! But then again, I love my Totchi just the way he is, nothing more nothing less ne…” Die draped an arm around the younger man and held the man closer to him. Toshiya immediately hugged back and enjoyed the warmth that both men shared. “ Die…I love you too…” Toshiya said shyly and straight away hid his shyness away from Die by burying his head deeper into Die’s embrace. “ Being shy now, are we?….How cute…haha…” Next morning, Die was awakened from his peaceful sleep when a certain foul smell intruded his breathing. He rubbed his sleepy eyes and found that his room was clouded with smoke with an additional burnt smell. “ Totchi…?!!!!” Die shouted from his room but to his surprise, there was no reply. Fearing that something might have happened to his lover, Die immediately got up from the bed and rushed outside only to find a very frustrated Toshiya holding a frying pan that was on fire. “ Totchi…!!!!!” Die immediately grabbed over the pan and extinguished the fire using a damp cloth. Toshiya was so glad to see Die that he immediately threw down everything and hugged the elder one. “ Die, I was so scared, the fire was burning and I didn’t know what to do…” “ It’s ok, now, Totchi…” Die soothed his lover. Die looked around his kitchen and saw the mess that Toshiya has created. He didn’t know whether he should laugh or cry when he thought about the cleaning he has to do later. “ What were you trying to do, Totchi?…You are not trying to burn down my kitchen are you?” “ Hehe…I was trying to make you breakfast…” Toshiya laughed embarrassedly. “ What…?!!! Just one breakfast and my house is on fire…I can’t wait to see you cook lunch next time…haha…” Toshiya pouted in dismay, just then he felt a certain pain in his fingers. “ Itai..!!!” “ What happened?!!!” Die immediately jumped when he heard Toshiya winced. Toshiya looked at his own fingers, there were patches of red and scalded skin on his palm and fingers, Die took hold of his scalded hand and he felt a certain heartache within him. “ Let me go get the medicine…” Die said and hurriedly rushed to the bathroom where the first aid kit was. Die gently applied a clinical cream and applied some bandages over the scalded skin. “ You should be a bit more careful next time…look at you…What will you do without me around you ne…you worried me, Totchi…” Die said in a half worried and half angry tone. “ I just wanted to make you breakfast…I wanted to do something for you…I wanted to make you happy…” Toshiya was on the verge of crying already. “ Shh…Totchi…you don’t have to do anything for me….” Die held him close and comforted him. “ But…but…it is not fair…you always do things for me…I don’t want to be only a burden…” “ You’re not a burden to me, Totchi…I am happy enough to be able to be with you…” Die held Toshiya tighter and brought his face to level with his. He gently planted a kiss on those soft lips then the kiss grew deeper until both men were out of breath. When both men finally broke away, they were both panting heavily. “ Totchi…there is however something you can do for me and certainly will make me very happy…” Die threw Toshiya a seductive yet somehow a little perverted grin. “ And what’s that…?” Toshiya tried to ask innocently. “ This…” Die immediately tackle Toshiya on pushed him onto the floor, pinning him down for another kiss when another burning smell caught Die’s attention. “ What’s that burning again…I thought I dealt with the fire already…” Toshiya had smelt it too and quickly pushed Die away. “ Ah…!!!!!!The toast!!!!!!!” Die sweat dropped. “ I will come and pick you up after class, wait for me ok?” “ Mmm…ok…” Toshiya said cheerfully. He gave a small peck on Die’s cheeks before he entered his class. Die was about to turn around when someone bumped into him. “ Ahh…!!!” “ Gomen…gomen nasai, gome….” An auburn haired man apologized immediately while bowing his head down and again. “ Hey…take it easy man…it ain’t that serious….” When the auburn haired man finally looked up, Die was astonished. He had a frail figure, extremely feminine features and there was something in those eyes. Vulnerability. Before Die could make another mental note, Toshiya had suddenly walked out from his class and happily greeted the man. “ Shinya…!!!!” Toshiya cheerfully greeted and hugged the auburn haired man. He hugged back and smiled. A smile that had deeply attracted Die, a smile so pure and innocent. “ Oh, come meet my boyfriend…Die, this is Shinya…Shinya, this is Die…” “ Hi…” Die offered his hand for a handshake to which Shinya accepted. But Shinya did not smile to him. Instead Shinya just took hold of Toshiya’s hands and dragged him inside after excusing himself politely to Die. Die just stood there stoned for a moment before the bell rang and it was time for class. “ Shinya….so what do you think about him…?” “ Hmmm…he looked a bit too cheerful for his age…” “ Shinya….!!!!” “ Ok ok, geez….he looks fine, the type you would die for….” Shinya said in a flat tone. “ Haha…you know me so well, Shin…” “ I don’t like him…” “ Why?…” “ He made fun of me when I was trying to apologize to him just now…” “ Shin- shin…that’s just him…he is always so funny…” Shinya said nothing, he just rolled his eyes. Toshiya was in an extremely happy mood. He has been like that since he knew Die. Shinya was actually happy for Toshiya. To Toshiya, Die was his protector, the one that cared for him and gave him a sense of security; he was also the only person Toshiya had truly loved with all his heart. Unlike Shinya, Toshiya had always needed to be loved; Shinya on the other hand chose to be lonely, to be strong for himself, he needed no one… It was raining heavily, there were many people standing at the corridor, waiting for either their families or lovers to pick them up from school. To any high schooler, having a date to pick them up after school was a romantic thing. Toshiya was waiting for Die, Shinya had chose to accompany Toshiya until Die came. “ Ahh…Die…!!!” Finally Toshiya pointed and shouted over to the red head who was running towards them. “ The rain is so heavy…” Die said while sweeping off the raindrops on his shirt. When he was finished, Die finally noticed that Shinya was with Toshiya. Die nodded politely to the quiet one. “ Die…can we go now? I’m hungry…” Toshiya whined. Die laughed. “ Ok…my car is on the side…can you manage?” Die helped Toshiya with his bag and books. Toshiya just smiled and nodded while clinging onto Die. Toshiya looked over to his friend. “ Shin…do you want to join us…?” Shinya just shook his head. “ Nope, you go ahead and enjoy yourselves….” Toshiya just shrugged. “ Ok then, ja ne…” “ Ja…” Die and Toshiya left the corridor and ran towards the car. Shinya saw the two figures running, the shadows of their back, closely knitted together, as though they were inseparable…is that what you call love…? Shinya asked to himself… Die helped Toshiya into the car when he remembered something. “ Wait for me in the car…I have to go do something…” “ Okay…” Die ran back into the school and handed the umbrella over to Shinya. Shinya was shocked to see Die coming back. “ Take it…” “ Why…how did you…?” “ I saw you didn’t have an umbrella with you…the rain is not going to stop anytime soon so you better take it…” “ Oh…what about you?” “ No worries…my car is just nearby…I can run…moreover you look so fragile and weak…you’ll get sick…” “ I’m not weak…” Shinya said defensively. “ It doesn’t matter, take it…” “ Tha…” Shinya took over the umbrella and in a split second Die had gone already. Shinya didn’t even have the time to say thank you. “ So that is Shinya….” “ Yeap…” “ So how was first day of school…” “ You sound like my mother, Die…” Toshiya pouted. “ Come on, I don’t sound that old do I?” “ Haha….well, after a three month break, starting school was pretty exciting…I get to see my friends back…especially Shinya…but I still missed that happy times we had in that three months ne… can I don’t go to school tomorrow…?” “ Totchi….of course you can’t skip school, you know that for sure…” Die stated firmly. “ Aww…you’re so cruel…” “ Stop being a brat, Totchi…you know I too would like you to stay at home with me, but this is your life, your future…moreover..” “ Moreover what?” “ I hate stupid people…” Die stated flatly. “ Mou…!!!!! I’m not stupid!!!!!” Toshiya pouted earning a laugh from Die. “ Okok, so you’re not…you da most smart ….you will be the smartest if nobody existed in this world…” “ Of course….” Toshiya rethinks the statement… “ NOT…..!!!!!!!! DIE!!!!!!!! You’re so mean….I’m not talking to you anymore…” Toshiya pouted even more and look away from Die. In a midst of driving on a straight motorway, Die quickly pulled Toshiya over for a quick kiss. “ But I still love you for what you are…” Toshiya finally smiled. “ Now quit whining and tell me more about this Shinya…he is your close and bestest friend right?” “ Why the sudden interest…?” Toshiya asked with suspicious eyes. “ Quit staring at me that way…I’m just curious…” Die stated giving Toshiya a light whack on the head. “ Well, as you probably would have realized, he is quite mysterious and seldom talks…but he is a nice guy, very caring and very understanding…sometimes talking to him makes me feel like talking to an older brother…he is very mature in his thinking…” “ Maturity and understanding…looks like you have a lot to learn from him ne…Totchi?” “ Shut up, Die…let me finish…Shinya doesn’t have boyfriend if that is what you’re interested…” Toshiya pouted. “ Aww….is someone jealous…?” “ Don’t be stupid…I won’t be jealous of Shinya…he is my friend…” “ Really…?” “ Yes, Die…and please don’t rub it in anymore…” Toshiya said in a little angry tone. “ I like it when you are angry and serious…brings out your beauty…” Die brought a hand and caress Toshiya’s cheeks making the younger one blush. Shinya finally reached his house, Die was right, it was still raining and it became heavier. Shinya kept the umbrella carefully inside the shoe closet and left for the kitchen to fix a cup of coffee. He was already shivering from the cold. “ Ah…how nice…” Shinya commented when he finally took a sip from his hot coffee. Suddenly memories of what happened in the afternoon came to his mind. He said that I was weak and fragile when everyone else thought I was strong…he saw through my shield… Images of Die started to float in his mind…his smile, the teasing and the caring… Shinya mentally slapped himself. “ What am I thinking about, he is my best friend’s lover…this is wrong, Shinya…WRONG….!!!!!!!” But then again, you never know when love comes and when love blossom and when love dies…do you? Next morning, the same thing, Die had sent Toshiya to school. At the door, they met Shinya and Shinya blushed when he saw Die. “ Shinya, are you ok? You looked red…” Toshiya lifted his hand to touch Shinya’s forehead, checking for temperature. Shinya took Toshiya’s hand away and smiled. “ Don’t worry, Toshiya, I’m fine…” “ Okay…” Shinya handed over the umbrella to Die. Then quickly he walked away. Die smiled and took over the umbrella. “ My pleasure.” “ Hey…when did you…?” Toshiya questioned but then remembered what Die said when he went back to the school yesterday. “ Oh, Die, you’re such a nice guy…not only you care for me but you care for my best friend too…? You deserve a kiss…” Toshiya brought Die cheeks closer to him and gave him a peck, making Die blush…not that he hadn’t experience this before, just that not in front of the public. The bell rang and after waving a “ series” of goodbye, Toshiya finally disappeared into the class. Die looked at the umbrella and noticed that there was tag there. It was a short note from Shinya. Die-san, Thanks for the umbrella. It really helped me a lot yesterday. I’ll buy you coffee some other time. Shinya. Die laughed to himself when he saw the note. “ How sweet…” Class was finally over and after dating with Die, Toshiya returned to his house only to find that his two almost unbelievably rich parents were waiting for him in the living room. “ Toshiya…you’re back…come, there is someone I want you to meet…” Toshiya’s mother greeted him with joy. “ Who is it?” “ Just follow me…” “ Ok…” Toshiya was led to the guest room. When he entered the room he was frightened by the figure that was sitting on the couch in front of him. He had piercing eyes, very high cheekbones and a stern face as though the whole world had just insulted him. “ This is Kaoru, he used to be your senior and he used to take the subjects you take, I think he is the most suitable person to be your in- house tutor for the next few months…” “ Ma, I don’t need a in- house tutor…I can study myself…” Toshiya whined. “ Be a good boy and don’t argue with me, Toshiya, you know how bad your results were the last time…I’m worried, this is your critical year…” “ But…” “ Give it a try first before you say anything…after the finals you can do whatever you want, ok?” There was no way to go against his mother…his mother knew that there was this trip he had wanted to go with Die and if he didn’t comply with his mother’s wishes, he knew the trip would be over. “ Fine.” Toshiya threw his bag on the chair and started to take out his books. “ I’m sorry, Kaoru, this son of mine is a spoilt brat…behave yourself, Toshiya, I will leave you now with your tutor…see you later…” Toshiya’s mother left the room and just seconds after she left, Toshiya was quickly gathering his things back into his bag again and stood up wanting to leave the room when a firm hand grabbed his by the wrist. “ Where do you think you are going?” “ Upstairs and sleep, if you don’t mine…” Toshiya said in an annoyed tone. “ We haven’t begin our work yet…” “ Screw it, I don’t care, I am dead tired, work will have to wait till tomorrow…” The man harshly pulled Toshiya to sit down beside him and locked his eyes on Toshiya’s. “ I have strict orders from your mother…you can only go when work’s finished.” “ Hey, let go of me, you’re hurting me…” But Kaoru gave him another stare sending shivers down his spine. Toshiya feared that if he resisted again, he would end up getting hurt even more, so he sat down quietly and started doing the papers that was on the table. “ Stupid, Kaoru….!!!!! AHHHH!!!!!!!” “ Why is my lover so frustrated?” “ That stupid house tutor of mine is over- working me….I am having a headache now…!!!!” “ Haha…don’t you think your mum was right, I mean you really did real bad the last time…” “ Why do you said it like it has nothing to do with you, huh?” “ Well…” “ Ando Daisuke, you better not forget that you were enticing me all those times when I was sitting for my exam…how did you expect me to concentrate…?!!!” Die laughed. “ Well, maybe we really should stop seeing each other for awhile until you finish your exam ne…” “ Don’t you dare, Die…” Toshiya threatened. “ Haha…ok, maybe we should spend more time during weekends and less time during your school days, so that you can manage your coursework…ok?” “ Well, I don’t have much choice, do I?” Toshiya pouted. “ Just think of it like this, remember our trip to the Caribbeans?…work hard for that…” “ That’s what I have been thinking all along when Kaoru starts to stuff loads of questions papers to me…!!!” Toshiya was still grumbling about how cruel Kaoru had treated him which made Die laughed even more. The initial one- week- twice- dating didn’t exactly worked out as they had planned, Toshiya couldn’t make it for most of the dates. His reason was that Kaoru had decided on a new way to torture him again. It was another lonely weekend as Die had his date cancelled. He laid on the couch playing with his handphone when he scrolled down and saw Shinya’s number. Another thought arise. “ Perhaps I can ask Shinya out for a drink or something…hmmm…” Suddenly the thought of Shinya’s fragile frame and vulnerability came into his mind, his cute note brought a smile to Die’s heart. He was a person so full of mystery and that attracted Die a lot. The more he pushed Die away, the more Die wanted to come close to him. There was no wonder why Shinya had occasionally referred to Die as the “creature” in his conversation with Toshiya. In previous occasion, in the absence of Toshiya’s accompaniment, Die had asked Shinya out because he thought Shinya was fun to hang around with and he also felt that Shinya was fun to tease around too, maybe because only Shinya gives unexpected reactions to Die’s dumb comments ie: by pouring a cup of water on Die’s head…-_-!!! In fact when days were good, they had actually become good friends, most of their conversation would be about Toshiya and others were about their life, and Die actually find Shinya to be, as Toshiya described, a very understanding and mature person and there is always a very comfortable and relaxing feeling talking to the younger one. After much flashback of the happy times with Shinya, Die finally decided to dial the number. “ Hello, Shinya?” “ Oh, it’s you…what do you want, creature…” “ Hey, are you still mad at me…?” “ No, just in case you hadn’t realized, I, unlike you, have something called a ‘life’…ah!!!!” Die heard the scream and was worried. “ Hello…!!??? Shinya?!!!!!” There was no answer. Die started to worry that Shinya has hurt himself or something bad had happened, he quickly grabbed his coat and car keys and went down to get his car. Before you know it, he had already arrived in front of Shinya’s doorstep and was banging on the door already. “ Shinya!!!!! Shinya!!! Open the door, it’s me, Die!!!” Suddenly the door opened and a very annoyed Shinya walked out. “ I can hear you, Die…quit shouting…” Die was astonished when he saw that Shinya’s hand was bleeding. “ What happened to you…?!!!” Die quickly grabbed hold of Shinya’s hand and examine the wound carefully. Before Shinya could reply to the question, Die had already dragged Shinya into the house, treating the house as if it was his own, he took out the fist aid kit and help Shinya to bandage the wound. “ What were you trying to do to yourself?…Kill yourself…?!!!!” “ Die, I was just trying to clean the shelves when I accidentally knocked down the vase and I fell down too and cut my hand….I wasn’t trying to kill myself…” Shinya let out a laugh when he saw how Die over reacted to the whole thing. By this time, Die had finished the bandaging; Die suddenly realized what he had done just now. He now realized that he was holding onto Shinya’s hand and was looking into Shinya’s eyes directly. Those beautiful dark eyes that had attracted him again and again. There was a certain awkwardness between them. Die let go of Shinya’s hand and both men looked the other way. Silence was in the air. Finally, Die spoke. “ Ne, Shinya…” Die could hear no response except a sigh from Shinya. “ Why did you come, Die?” “ Because…because I was worried…” “ Is that all…?” Die gave an awkward laugh when he heard this, “Haha…I called just now just to see if you would like to hang out with me today…” Die did not know what to answer. “Oh…” Shinya knew no matter how much he wanted the man, he couldn’t have him because Die had Toshiya already and Toshiya was his best friend. A tear had formed at the corner of Shinya’s eyes and without Shinya realizing it, it had rolled down his cheeks. Die saw this and was heartbroken. Die sat back down and moved closer to Shinya, he gently brushed away the tear. “ Shinya, are you ok?” Shinya just kept quiet. The next moment was like time had stopped. Die held the younger one in his arms and comforted him. How long had he wanted this, so much of longing just for one touch…it felt so right…so secure…so warm… When Shinya realized what Die was doing, he quickly pushed himself away from Die. Shinya had just realized what he had done. He quickly wiped away his tears and stood up, continuing his chores. “ Die, I’m sorry I can’t go out with you today, I am kinda busy….perhaps another day…” Die also stood up and straighten his clothes. “ Ok then, see you around then, Shinya…” “ Ja.” “ Ja.” Since that day, it had been several weeks since Die last saw Shinya and Toshiya, yet surprisingly, Die seems to have miss Shinya more. No matter how many times Die told himself that the person he loved was Toshiya, he could never get Shinya off his mind. There was a certain mixture of feelings within him, passion for Shinya yet guilt for Toshiya. “ Ahhhhh!!!!!! I can’t go on like this….!!!!!” Die finally burst out in frustration. “ You should learn to relax ne, my friend…” the man beside him tried to calm him down. “ It is easy for you to say, Kaoru, cause you never end up in such a shit like me…” “ What do you mean I don’t usually end in such a shit like you…??!!! Please don’t forget that you were the one that push me into one…” Die gulped, knowing that Kaoru was referring to the fact that he was being “forced” by Die to tutor Toshiya in the first place. “ Okok…sorry, man…so how’s Toshiya’s studies?” “ Well, so far he is doing quite well, that brat can be quite intelligent at times when he is serious….he is after all the Hara’s family sole heir…” “ Hey, thanks for doing me this favour, I didn’t want to see Toshiya fail his study because of me…” “ No probs, friend, I know you were just trying to be the perfect “Romeo” for that brat…” “ Haha….” “ So what’s bothering you?” “ Well…” “ Secret?” “ Not exactly…I am facing a dilemma at this moment….” “ Like what?” “ I fell in love again…” “ Toshiya?” “ No…one of his best friend, very much different from Toshiya…we hang out a few times when Toshiya was studying, gotta know him better and I realize…” “ You fell in love with him and he feels the same way also but you are tied up with all those guilty feelings for dumping Toshiya…” “ Hey….I knew you were smart in studies, I didn’t know you were smart in relationships too….I must say I am amazed…” Die laughed. “ Shut up, Die…what do you plan to do now?” “ I don’t know…” “ You know you should make a decision quick, it would be unfair for both of them…no matter what you decide, it will hurt either one of them no doubt but do “ damage control”…before its really too late ne…” Die smiled at his friend, Kaoru did make some sense... “Cheers to you and your new lover…don’t worry, should anything happen and you decide to dump the brat, I will keep an eye on him for you and make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid ok?” “ How do you know who I am going to choose?” “ Isn’t it obvious enough?” Both men smiled and continued drinking until midnight. The next day Die couldn’t stand not seeing Shinya anymore. He finally decided to approach the younger one and tell him the truth about his feelings, no matter whether he accepts it or not. Die finally reached the front door of Shinya’s apartment, nervously he pushed down the doorbell. “ Coming…!!!” Shinya shouted from inside. The door opened and Shinya was surprised to see Die. A flush of red came across his face. “ Die…?” “ Can I come in?” “ Oh, sure…” Shinya let the man in. “ Drink?” “ Err….just water will do…” Shinya went to the kitchen and came back with two cups of cold water. “ Is something wrong…?” “ Err…no …” “ Then why did you come over? Is this about Toshiya?” “ No…it is about…us…” Shinya was shocked. Then followed by a gulp. Die look nervously at Shinya’s direction. “ Shinya…I…love…you…” Shinya frozed and he immediately look away from Die. “ Shinya, don’t you have any feelings for me?” Shinya kept quiet. “ Shinya…” “ No, Die…it was just a joke right…? It is just your way of teasing me again….it is not funny, Die, so drop it, ok?” Die was starting to get angry. “ I’m serious, Shinya….!!! If you don’t love me you can just ask me to leave but please, please take me seriously…” “ What about…” “ Shinya, I just want to know what you feel about me, nothing else…” “ No, Die…we can’t…you belong with Toshiya…” Die finally burst out. “ Is that what you want? Me to go back to Toshiya?!!!! Well then, I’m sorry to have bothered you…!!!” Die stood up and was about to leave when he felt a hand grab his. “ No, Die….that is not what I want….but…” Shinya was crying. Die was heartbroken. He didn’t mean to get mad at Shinya. He held the younger one in his arms. “ Die, I love you too….but…I know this is wrong…” “ Shh….don’t worry about it…let me handle it…as long as I know that you love me…” “ Die…” “ Shinya…” Both men finally kissed for the first time…so much of passion, so much of longing… The morning had shone into the room waking the two new lovers up. “ Ohayo” Die greeted his new lover. “ Ohayo…” Shinya smiled and blushed as he realized how close he was to Die. But then his smile faded when he remembered what they will have to face as a consequence of what happened last night. “ Are you thinking about Toshiya…?” Shinya just nodded his head sadly. “ Don’t worry, I won’t give you up…” Die kissed Shinya gently on the lips and Shinya smiled again. Die’s chance of meeting and telling Toshiya about his decision to break up did not come until three weeks later when Kaoru finally let Toshiya take some time off to “social”. “ Die….!!!” Toshiya was so happy to see Die. “ Toshiya…!!!” Both men hugged. “ Ne, did you miss me…?” Toshiya pulled Die’s face over, wanting a kiss from him but was disappointed when he got only a small kiss on his cheeks. “ I missed you.” Die gently pushed Toshiya away and led him to sit down on the dining chair. Throughout the afternoon, Toshiya did not stop talking about how Kaoru “tortured” him hence Die did not have the chance to tell Toshiya about the true reason behind their meeting today. “ Die…” “…” “ Die…!!!” Toshiya said the name louder. “ Huh…?” “ Are you listening…?” Toshiya pouted. “ Oh…errmmm….” “ You are acting very strange today…hmm…” Toshiya scooted over beside Die and looked at him in scrutiny. “ What is in that red head of yours????….hmm….or you keeping something away from me…?” Toshiya gave Die a suspicious look making Die shiver. “ It’s nothing…” Toshiya was going to question further but he didn’t because he saw a familiar figure pass by the coffee shop. He immediately stood up and ran out of the shop. “ Shinya!!!!” Shinya heard the familiar voice and turned. He was a little taken aback when he saw Toshiya. The same guilt had built up inside him again and it was even stronger when he saw Die walking out of the coffee shop as well. “ Ne, Shin, I miss you…” Toshiya hugged the man happily. The man was just stoned until Die signaled him to hug back. Satisfied with hug, Toshiya pull away. “ Shinya, Die, let’s go party tonight…” “ I…I’m not going…” “ Oh, Shin, you’re being anti- social again…come on…it will be fun…me and Die use to do that all the time, right Die?” Die just smiled awkwardly. “ Come on, Shinya, just this once, I will make sure Die would pest you around ne…hehe…” Toshiya laughed. With much reluctance, Shinya finally nodded his head. “ Yeah…!!!” “ We’ll see you tonight at the new club in town…I think it is called Evolution…I heard people say it is a cool club…” Toshiya suggested excitedly. “ Ok.” “ Well then, excuse me and Die, I have to go get some pretty cool clothes for tonight…ja ne…” “ Ja.” Toshiya dragged Die along with him, as Die passed by Shinya side, he stretched out his hand to grab Shinya’s and gave it a short and tight squeeze. A touch that meant a lot of things. Shinya, don’t give up loving me…no matter what happens… That night both Die and Toshiya had became the center of attention as they entered the club. Toshiya was natural killer to both sexes…as for Die, he was charming in his own way. After some effort squeezing through the crowd, they manage to get to Shinya. If the lighting was not so bad, they would have notice that Shinya was actually half drunk already. “ Ne, Shin…we’re sorry… we’re late…” “ It’s …ok…” Both men sat down and started to order some drinks. Throughout the night, Toshiya was still babbling on what happened in those past few weeks, on the other hand, Die had noticed Shinya severe drinking. When Shinya decided to have one more go on the tequila, Die stopped him. “ Shinya, I think you should stop…” Shinya slapped away Die’s hands and in one gush, he had drunk the tequila down. Toshiya had noticed this too and was concerned. Just as expected, the next second, Shinya had already collapsed on the table. “ Toshiya, I think we should leave now, we better get Shinya back…” “ Ok…” Die drove on the familiar path back to Shinya’s house and he took out the keys to Shinya’s apartment from his pocket and quickly unlocked the door. Die helped the drunken man into his room and laid him on his bed. Shinya was still conscious at this point and he had a solemn expression on his face. “ Toshiya!!!!” Die shouted from the room. A head popped up from the door side. “ Yes?” “ Get me a wet towel and a cup of hot tea, will you?” “ Oh, ok…” Toshiya left for the kitchen. Die looked back at Shinya. “ How are you feeling? Why were you drinking so much tonight…?” Die asked concernedly. “ You know bloody well why…” Shinya mocked. “ Shinya, remember what I told you…trust me, I will settle it with Toshiya…” “ Die, it is not that…the guilt is killing me…I can’t face Toshiya like this…maybe we should stop this relationship thing…you belonged to Toshiya…let’s just forget everything…” Die silenced the younger one with a kiss. “ Don’t say that, Shinya…I once loved Toshiya, but now, the person I love is you…” Shinya was crying. Die held him close to his chest and soothed him. “ Shh…Shinya…don’t cry…” Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, both men quickly broke apart. Toshiya walked in and handed the wet towel and the cup of tea to Die. “ Here you go…” Die took over the towel and rested it on Shinya’s head. “ Drink the hot tea, it will make you feel better…” Shinya just smiled. “ Thanks…” “ Toshiya, I think we should make a move and let Shinya rest…” “ Ok, take care, Shin…” “ I will.” Both men left Shinya’s place in Die’s car. There was a dead silence in the car. Toshiya had stopped talking which only made felt even more uneasy and when Toshiya finally broke the silence, Die was glad. “ Die, do you have something to tell me?” “ What do you mean?” “ Tell me what you were doing during those past few weeks…” “ Well, I didn’t do much, life was the usual routine ne…hehe…what do you think I did, Toshiya…?” “ It is the fourth time already…” “ Huh?” “ You called me “ Toshiya” four times already…” “ Huh…isn’t that your name…? Why are saying weird things, are you ok, Toshiya?” “ How come you don’t call me “ Totchi” anymore…the name that you gave me…” Die was shocked, he didn’t know Toshiya could be sensitive, or was it Die that was too careless…? “ And how come you have Shinya’s apartment keys in your pocket…?” Die froze. Shocked. Toshiya didn’t let the silence prolonged. He suddenly laughed to himself. “ Shinya must have dropped it just now at the bar right…? He can be so careless sometimes….haha….” Die wanted to tell Toshiya the truth then and there because he knew that Toshiya had suspected something and it would hurt him even more if the lie was to continue. “ Toshiya…” Suddenly, Toshiya’s cell phone rang. “ Mushi mushi, Toshiya speaking…” After the other side’s reply, Toshiya’s face went blank. “ Ok, I will be back soon.” “ Who was that? Is something wrong?” “ Iie…nothing’s wrong…” Toshiya just smiled and shrugged. “ You sure…?” “ Yeah…it was just Kaoru ‘summoning’ me back to his ‘prison’…time for ‘training’ again…” this was followed by a long sigh before he smiled again, reassuring Die that there was nothing wrong. But Die knew Toshiya too well, something must have happened in the house. He didn’t insist further and he knew very well this wasn’t the moment to break anymore bad news to the younger one. Finally both men reached Toshiya’s house. Toshiya waved goodbye, surprisingly, there was no goodnight kiss tonight and Die did not insist to get one like he normally would. Die did not gave one and Toshiya did not demand for one either. Perhaps both men had just came to a realization, this is the end already… Toshiya entered the unusually quiet hall and then as he approached the guest hall, he could hear his mother crying. He had already known what had happened. Toshiya, please come back now, your dad died in a plane crash in New York 2 hours ago…they are all waiting to hear from you… Toshiya pushed open the door, it felt heavy so heavy that he wanted to just give up and run away, but where could he go now…? He can’t go running back to Die now, can he? Die was no longer his… “ Tadaima…” “ Toshiya, you’re home, we were waiting for you…” Toshiya’s mother stated as she summoned everyone’s attention. Toshiya looked around the room, people whom he knew as his father’s company’s partners, shareholders and relative shareholders were surrounding him. He hadn’t the slightest idea what he needed to do, what he needed to say, everyone was looking at him with eagerness as though one wrong word and they would pranced on top of him and skinned him alive. Fear invaded him. He was shivering but at the corner of his eyes, he saw another familiar figure. It was Kaoru. Kaoru smiled to him. Kaoru never smiled to him yet he did this time. A very assuring smile. “ So Toshiya, being the sole heir of the company, what do you plan to do now that your father is dead?” “ With effect from tomorrow I shall be taking over the company…” “ And…? What does a young boy like you know about doing business? You’re barely able to do simple maths….haha” One of the skeptic shareholders spoke. This provoked some anger within Toshiya. Although he didn’t have the confidence to do it yet he knew what he was about to say was the only way he could save his family and himself from further humiliation. “ Mr. Kudo, and just precisely why should I do simple maths when I can tell what is an oligopolistic nature of the market?” Toshiya tried to smile a smile of confidence. The gentleman said nothing further. “ Rest be assured, fellow shareholders, I am my father’s son, I will not let you down, just like how my father would not have permitted himself to, so please don’t let me down and don’t let my father down just like how you didn’t permit yourselves to do so in the past when my father was alive…” The crowd clapped hands and votes were taken, the final result was that the company was to stay and remain in operation. Finally after a very long night, the crowd left. Toshiya’s mother hadn’t got over the fact and had decided to take a night drive back down to her hometown for a few days. The funeral according to the other relatives had been taken care off, all Toshiya needed to do was to pay for it. It was dead silence in the house again now with an additional solemn feel to it. Toshiya sat in his room looking out of his window. So many things had happened in just one day…just this afternoon, he was shopping with the man he deeply loved and vowed was the perfect one for him and hours later, he saw his perfect one kissing his best friend. Then, his father’s death. Life sucks… Toshiya took out a cigarette from the packet that was lying on the table, it belonged to Kaoru. His first cigarette. Suddenly a figure appear behind him. “ I hope you’re not that stupid as not to know smoking kills…” “ Wasn’t it you who told me that all humans will die one day…what difference will a few sticks do?” “ It is the time issue, you’re still young…old man dies not young ones…” “ But then again, which Act says that people are not suppose to die young?” Kaoru smiled. “ I see that you can be a fast thinker if you really want to… a very clever one too…” “ Thanks for the compliment….and thanks for that reassurance just now…” “ Oh, so now suddenly you’re very observant too….my, my…so it seems that you’re not as stupid as I think you are….” “ Please do not forget, Kaoru, Hara Corp. is one the largest established corporation in Japan and my father only started his business with a few thousand yens. I am the son of that successful man, how stupid do you think I am?” “ Well, well, I’m impressed with all this men talk…but you better substantiate your talk with facts and evidence…if not the company will go down anyway…” “ Isn’t that exactly what you were being paid to do…? To assist me in taking over my father’s position?…” “ What do you mean…I’m just an ordinary in house tutor…” “ Quit acting, Kaoru…I did a search on you, you’re not my senior, you were working with dad all this while as his private assistant, a person extremely capable and intelligent…you were sent here with instructions by my father to test my capabilities of handling the company…and your best friend approach you too and told you to help me…if I’m not mistaken, that best friend was a guy name Die…right?” Kaoru applauded. “ Good job…well, I guess my job is done…Mr. Hara shouldn’t be worried…he should rest in peace now that he knows that his boy is actually capable…” “ No, your job is not done….I need you, work with me…” Toshiya offered a handshake. Kaoru hesitated a moment then he accepted the offer. “ Deal…” The next morning, as usual Die was downstairs waiting to sent Toshiya to school. Die had already heard from Kaoru about the funeral. Kaoru had also told Die about Toshiya’s unusual calmness. So his instincts were right. Something had happened in the house. Five minutes later, Toshiya came down. He wore a black suit together and he had dyed his hair a pure black. “ Ohayo, Die-kun…” “ Ah…ohayo…” “ I’m ready to go now…” “ Oh, ok” Somehow, there was something wrong with the occasion. However, Die couldn’t say what it was. Perhaps it was because Toshiya was a little too calm about what had happened for the past 24 hours. Die thought that his reaction would be like bursting out crying, just like how he used to be with the smaller issues. The journey to school was silent, neither talked until they finally reached the school compound area. “ Ne, Toshiya…I heard the news about your dad…sorry…” “ Oh…ok…” Toshiya said while still looking outside the window. “ Die-kun…I think we should stop seeing each other…let’s break up, ok?” Die was shocked, not that he didn’t expect it but he didn’t expect Toshiya to say it to him. “ What are you saying…Toshiya?” “ It doesn’t matter whether you agree to it or not, I’m sick and tired of you and this relationship thing already, unlike you, I have a future waiting for me…I don’t want to waste anymore time with anyone of you…” Finishing his sentence, Toshiya opened the car door and proceeded to leave. Before he walked away, he stopped for awhile but he didn’t turned back. “ I don’t love you anymore, Die…” With that, he walked away. All that was left was just that sentence and Toshiya’s back shadow that was slowly disappearing as he continued walking farther. Die was utterly speechless. It is so much easier for me to say that I don’t love you than to hear you say you don’t love me because when I say I don’t love you, I know I am lying, but when you say you don’t love me, I know you’re not… That afternoon, Toshiya handed in his withdrawal form and since that day, Toshiya never went back to school or see any of his friends. Rumors say that he had begun to be proud due to his wealth and the power he has, he lost his innocence and his conscience in the midst of becoming a businessman. Unlike his father, who was modest and a kind man, he became a man with a reputation of gold yet many despise him behind his back. People bowed down to him and many stared at him with jealousy. Hara Corp. prospered when Toshiya took over, he fulfilled his word, he never let anyone down yet man were greedy and they worked and pressured Toshiya to earn more for them. Years passed by, everyone had moved on and so has Die and Shinya. Shinya graduated and assisted Die in setting up his own business. It was a small sushi bar. They were still as loving as usual but they never forgot Toshiya. They never forgot who gave them the chance to be together. If Toshiya had not suggested that breaking up, perhaps Die wouldn’t have the heart to say it anyway and perhaps nothing would change. Each day they watch the news about Toshiya and how Hara Corp. was progressing. Kaoru would occasionally tell Die about how Toshiya is. According to him, Toshiya’s personal life was quite blank, he loved no one, not even his elderly mother. His mother had a nervous breakdown since Mr. Hara’s death and was now accepting therapy in a private mental institution. Toshiya never visited her once since she was admitted. As for his love life, there were many girls that came to him, yet he never even took one glance at them. All he was interested in was his work. He had no friends, even Kaoru that had been with him for several years now and was his most trustworthy business partner was not his friend; the relationship between them was strictly business and nothing personal. Toshiya was basically very much alone. Today is the 5th anniversary of the death of Mr. Hara. It is also the day Hara Corp became the number one most profit-making corporation in Japan thanks to Toshiya. “ Nakamura, send me to the cemetery please….” Toshiya said to his driver. “ Yes, Sir.” It had been exactly five years since he last visited his father’s grave. When he came here the last time, he vowed that he will never came again until he achieved something greater than that of his father. After about half an hour of driving, the pulled over nearby a cemetery ground. It was drizzling, just like five years ago. Time had passed by so fast yet this cemetery seems unmoved by the change of time, it was still like how it was five years ago. “ Wait for me in the car, I won’t be long…” Toshiya stepped out of the car and slowly walked towards his father’s grave, in his hands was a bouquet of flowers. He placed the flowers down on his father’s grave and used a tissue to slightly clean up his father’s picture. “ Good morning, father…” Toshiya sat down close to his father tombstone and gently hugged the stone. “ I’m sorry I didn’t come before this, I was too busy with the company’s business, today, our company becomes the most profit- making corporation in Japan…are you proud of me?” “ It has been five years already….so many things have happened…I have gained so much…yet I have lost so much…” A tear slipped down from the corner of his eye. “ Now I feel so lonely…and so tired…” Toshiya gently shut his eyes. “ Father…let me sleep beside you, just for a short moment…please…. I’m so tired already….” Toshiya didn’t know how long he slept beside his father’s tombstone, he just knew that it was perhaps one of the most peaceful sleeps he had since his father’s death. It was still raining yet Toshiya didn’t mind at all, he just slept… “ Young man….hey….wake up….” Toshiya awakened to find an old man was staring at him with worries in his eyes. “ Yes?” “ Don’t sleep here, you will catch a cold, moreover it is really dark already…it is very dangerous to be out here in the middle of the night…” “ Oh…I will be leaving soon….” Toshiya stood up and he bowed politely towards his father’s grave before he proceeded to leave. Suddenly…all he could see was darkness… To be continued… Author’s note: Hihi….!!! I would like to say thank you to those who have supported me all this while…this new fic really took me quite some time before I felt like it was time to release it…anywayz, as usual, C/C welcome. Love, Jerien
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Part 2
Second Phase of Change “ Master….Master Hara…” When Toshiya finally regain consciousness, all he could see was his concerned butler looking at him with worry all written upon his face. “ What….”Toshiya tried to speak but couldn’t quite get the words out, as his throat was too dry. “ Master Hara, you fainted at the cemetery, luckily Nakamura was with you just now….I’ll go get the doctor…” The butler left and when he came back, a short blonde doctor dressed in white followed behind him. “ Toshiya!!! How are you, my friend?” The doctor greeted the Toshiya with a hug and smile on his face. Toshiya hugged back too. “ Toshiya, you’ve been a bad patient….” Toshiya just smiled weakly. “ I know, I’m sorry, Kyo…” “ My dear friend, just how many times do I have to remind you about your heart condition?…You’re just a human and you need rest…if you continue to stress yourself like that…one day you will…” Toshiya stopped his words. “ Kyo…don’t worry, I know where my limits are…” Toshiya smiled again reassuring the worried doctor. The doctor just sighed. “ I don’t know why I still give in to you….I should have insisted you stayed with me until you recover when you fell the last time…!!!” “ Haha…..that is because you love me….” Toshiya laughed and the doctor just rolled his eyes. “ Anyway, you better get some rest….I will need to work a bit and try to change your medication…” “ See you during dinner then…” “ Ok…now listen to me for once…!!!! REST!!!!!” “ Haha….ok, ok….geez….” Toshiya laughed again seeing the pouting doctor out of his room. His laughter died down immediately after the doctor left and a solemn _expression was across his face. He lightly touch his own body, his cold hands could slightly feel his heart beating. I’m still alive… He stretched his hand out and managed to grab on to his cigarette pack, he took a stick out and lighted it. Thank you, Kyo…but how can I rest now?…I still have so much to do…I cannot leave now… Ringgggggg………ringgggg……. “ What the….!!!!????” Die was awakened from his peaceful sleep and is now in very foul and cranky mood. He swore and cursed whoever that called, after all, business was too good this week, he hadn’t a decent sleep since the beginning of the week…nevertheless thinking that no one would actually dare to wake him up so early by calling, it would have been something really important, reluctantly, he still left his bed and answered it. “ What???!!!! You better tell me this is important……!!!!!!! Or else….” A familiar voice came from the other end of the line. “ Die…” “ Kaoru?” “ Can we talk?” “ ….ok…our usual café…in half?” “ Ok. Ja.” Something was wrong…Kaoru would never call him this early and sound so serious…Die’s instincts told him somehow this had something to do with Toshiya… “ Hey..!!!” Die waved to his friend who had just rushed into the café. Kaoru was still panting when he sat down, looks like he has been running… “ Kao, are you alright?….Hey, you’re an old man, don’t run like that…!!! Haha…” Die slightly patted his friend’s shoulder while handling him a glass of water. “ Die…I …need…you to…come…with me….” “ Huh?” Kaoru gulped down the glass of water in one go and before Die could get any answers from him, he was being grabbed by the arm and dragged out of the café. “ Kao, where are we going?” “ I want you to see someone…” “ Who?” “ Toshiya….” Die froze. A name so familiar to him, a person who once was so close to him… “ What happened…?” Kaoru suddenly stopped the car beside the road. He looked at his friend who had a sad _expression across his face. “ Help him, talk to him, Die…he is killing himself…” “ What do you mean….?” Kaoru rested his head on the steering wheel, “ I don’t want to lose him…” “ For God’s sake, Kaoru!!!!…. Tell me what happened….!!!!” “ Toshiya was diagnosed with a heart problem five years ago, it is a problem that runs in the family, it shouldn’t have been a serious problem to a healthy living person but if the person overworked or undergo too much stress, it puts pressure on the heart and when the heart can no longer take it, it will worn out and the person will sooner or later die of a heart failure….recently, Toshiya had been passing out a lot due to sudden heart failures…Kyo, Toshiya’s childhood friend and now his private doctor had asked me to talk him into retiring…if he continue to work as hard as he is now and with the amount of smoking he is taking, in under a year, one day he will just pass out like how he was before just that he might never wake up again…the passing out is a symptom that his heart is getting weaker already…” Die was speechless. “ Die, I don’t want to lose him…I love that kid…he is like a brother to me…despite what people say about him being cold blooded and cruel…he is still the good kid that I use to teach five years ago…My instincts tell me that all this while he is just pretending to be what he isn’t….perhaps this is just a shield to protect himself from all the dangers in the business field…all these years he has gone through so much pain and suffering struggling for the company….he deserve something better….he never even knew what happiness was….” “ But why me, Kao…? The person he hates most is me…remember?” “ I don’t know about that…all I know is I have thought of everybody in his friends list and you are one of them…” Both men arrived at the three stories high bungalow and were greeted warmly by the family butler as well as the family doctor. “ Kyo…!!!” Kaoru greeted the doctor and both men hugged. “ Let me introduce…Die, this is Toshiya’s doctor, Kyo, and Kyo, this is Die….” “ Toshiya’s ex-lover….amazing…I’ve heard lots about you….” Somehow that remark wasn’t quite friendly. Die just nodded his head politely. “ Why did you bring him here, Kaoru? Do you want Toshiya to die faster…?” Kyo smirked. “ Kyo….let Die give it a try…..if both of us couldn’t do anything about it…..why not….” “ I won’t allow it!!!!….he was the one who betrayed…” “ Kyo…stop it!!!…” Kyo kept silent immediately but anger still apparent on his face. Kaoru on the other hand just grabbed Die’s shirt and pulled him into the house, totally ignoring the angry stare that Kyo gave both of them. After some turning and some more walking, both men finally reached a room with a wooden door. Kaoru gently knocked on it. “ Toshiya…can I come in?” A weak voice came from inside. “ Come in, the door is not locked…” Die froze when he entered the huge room and saw a very pale looking Toshiya resting on the bed, a cigarette hanging from his mouth while he scanned through the pile of documents that was resting on his chest. Kaoru immediately jumped and shouted. “ Toshiya!!!!! What do you think you are doing???!!!!!” He quickly rushed forward and took away the pile of documents from Toshiya chest. “ Didn’t Kyo warned you about putting heavy materials on your chest. It puts pressure on your heart…” Kaoru also took away the cigarette from his mouth and extinguished it. “ Don’t smoke so much…” “ Kao, stop interfering with my life… Unpleased, Toshiya turned his attention away from Kaoru only to notice someone who was standing at the end of his room. The familiar figure, suddenly, he felt a slight pain in his heart… “ What are you doing here?!!!” Toshiya said in an even more angry voice. “ Toshiya…I have come to see….” “ To see me??!!! This must be a joke, you come to see me suffer right? You want to see how tormented I am after I left you….is that right…..??????!!!! Well, now you’ve seen me……get out…..!!!!!!” “ Toshiya…..!!!!! For once listen to someone….!!!!!” Kaoru shouted back. Toshiya, anger still apparent on his face, had a smirk on his face suddenly. “ Fine, so you want to tell me something, Die? I will listen….but this will be an exceptional case, I don’t want to see you or have anything to do with you after this….!!! Kaoru, after so long being my assistant, don’t you know I hate uninvited guest in my residence???!!!!!!! I hope this is really the last time…!!” Die was a little hurt upon hearing this…even though he knew Toshiya hated him, even though he knew from that day, five years ago, that he would never see Toshiya again and Toshiya made it very clear that he wanted nothing to do with him anymore, it still hurt to hear Toshiya said it to him again…even after so long…he still didn’t forget the hurt of losing Toshiya… Kaoru knew it was good enough that Toshiya was willing to listen, he just nodded his head and left the room. Die slowly walked towards the man the he had once loved. He was so young then when they were still in love. He still had the same beauty, but he looked slightly paler and weaker as though he was already drained and he was so much thinner now. Maybe because they were once so close, from the paleness of his face and the lack of glow in those dark brown eyes, Die could sense the pain and suffering he had undergone in the past and in Die’s heart, he started shedding tears for this being before him that he once used to cherish and love. Die gently sat down on the space beside Toshiya. “ Hey…” Toshiya did not say anything, he just looked away. “ How are you feeling?” “ Is that all you have to say?” “ Err…no…I heard about your heart condition from Kaoru…they say…” “ And so…? What do you plan to do about it?….there is nothing you can do for me and I don’t need your sympathy….!!!! If you’re done talking, please leave and close the door behind you, I’m tired…” “ Toshiya….why are you acting this way? You are hurting the people who really care about you…” “ It has nothing to do with you how I treat the people around me…or for that matter, how I choose to live my life…!!!!! Who do you think you are??!!!!!” Toshiya spat he words of hatred out bluntly. Suddenly before anything could have registered in his mind, he felt a burning on his cheeks. Die was holding his hand and looking at them disbelievingly. “ I’m sorry….” Die slapped him. Suddenly Toshiya’s facial _expression was slightly less angry, he was just staring at Die in shock. “ Toshiya, I know I am not qualified to stand here and tell you what you should do or should not do…but just a piece of advise…think carefully before you make any decision about yourself…don’t be selfish, your life isn’t just about yourself, sometimes a wrong decision could be fatal…when you end up hurting someone you truly care about, you can’t undo the hurt you’ve caused them….trust me, I speak from experience….take good care of yourself and at least live for the people who loved you…” Die stood up and was about to leave the room when Toshiya called his name. “ Die…” Suddenly all sparks of hope arouse in Die’s heart. “ Yes?” “ Never…never….come here and see me again….you’re…useless…to….me…I…don’t…need….you” Somehow, the words that were spoken didn’t sound as angry as before, it sounded rather fake, as though Toshiya was forcing himself to say those heartbreaking words. Nevertheless Die himself was too sad to realize, with another long sigh, he just turned around and left. Upon seeing Die leave, a tear had managed to slip down from the corner of Toshiya’s eye. Once again, you walk out of my life…because I told you to…how I wish you had insisted to stay….like how I wished you said that you still love me and want to be with me, five years ago, when I said I wanted to end our relationship… Goodbye, my Die… Toshiya had shut his eyes wanting to fall asleep, perhaps in his dreams tonight, Die will be beside him and hold him tight, protect him from all the insecurities and love him gently…all the things he knew would never happened in reality… Suddenly someone had come into the room and Toshiya immediately opened his eyes. He was relieved to see that it was Kyo. “ Kyo…medicine time already?” Kyo just walked quietly towards Toshiya. He took a chair and sat next to him and looked at him with sadness in his eyes. “ Is it really okay? To just let him go like that?” “ Kyo…what can I do besides letting him go?” “ Tell him how you feel…!!! Tell him the truth, why you are doing what you are doing….” “ No, Kyo…in his heart, the person he loves now is Shinya…that is a fact….and it will remain a fact no matter what I say…” “ But….but it was he who betrayed you first….that is why you left him…” “ Yes, Kyo….it was him who betrayed our relationship, but no one should be blame just because it never worked out between us…I know he was sorry and he is probably still bearing all the guilt after all these years…Kyo, I don’t blame you for getting angry, but when you love someone, sometimes it is not about being with him or having him always beside you that matters, if he could find more happiness with another person, letting him go is also a way of loving him…” “ But…what about your feelings…who is going to love you then…?” “ I have myself…and the people around me…like you…” “ But…” “ Kyo, the only reason I chose not to be too personally attached to anyone, besides you, is because I don’t want them to get involved in my life story…not that I don’t love them or don’t care about them, I love them too much that I am not willing to risk their happiness because of me…I can’t be selfish…like Die said, my life isn’t just about myself…it’s also about the people around me…” “ But in the end, if you tell no one about it….they will never know….they will only hate you more….” “ I don’t care what they will say or think about me…I just want them to be happy…and if it means sacrificing everything I have…so be it…” Toshiya was weak but somehow this few words came out strong. Kyo held gently onto Toshiya’s hands. “ Why are you doing all this…? Hara Corp is progressing so well, no one would dare to threaten you….why do you feel that you have to stay away from everyone to save them…?” “ Kyo, remember what I told you at my father’s funeral 5 years ago?” “ You said you would claim back what you’ve lost…” “ Yes…Kyo, the day I have been waiting for has come…” “ What…” “ My father’s death was not just an accident….it was “ plotted” and after years of private investigation, I found out that the person behind the plot was a man name Sakimoto Kenji….Chairperson of the SK Corp, a long term rival of Hara Corp. He is a man with very strong influence in the society…many politicians secretly invest in his company and he in turn make millions for them…and to achieve his goal, he is willing to sacrifice everything and use every single dirty tactic to force you into submitting yourself to him and walk his way…he killed father and made it look like an accident because father was his only opponent in a project tender 5 years ago and father’s proposal was more favourable and he even asked the police to cover up the whole incident for him…!!!! I cannot forgive him…he ruined my family, my happiness…” “ But Toshiya….” “ Don’t worry, Kyo, I know what I am doing…all these 5 years I have been going against him, fighting with him purposely for projects and I think it’s about time he took some action against me…” “ Toshiya, don’t be foolish…!!!! That man has no sympathy for anyone!!!!! If he could plot your father’s death, he could plot yours too….!!!!” “ I know, Kyo….but considering his status now, he wouldn’t bother killing me to ruin his reputation…however I’m prepared for all that he will be planning, I want him to admit in front of me that he killed my father and I want him to perish before me…but I don’t want anyone else to get hurt because of my fight against him, knowing him, he will definitely use and threaten the people around me to get back against me and I don’t want that to happen…especially…to Die, Shinya, Kaoru and the people that I love…the only reason I’m not worried about you is because you the High Ambassador’s sole son, Kenji wouldn’t dare lay his hands on you…” “ No….Toshiya…don’t do it….I’m sure there is another way around it…this is crazy…!!!” Kyo immediately hugged the taller man and silently cried on shoulders while he still mumbles the same words…foolish….foolish…foolish…. “ Don’t worry, Kyo, I won’t do anything illegal, I just want him to pay for his crimes…” Toshiya held the smaller man in his arms and comforted him. “ And when everything is over…I promise you I will retire like you have always wanted me to and go back to our hometown for fishing…ok?” Toshiya smiled warmly to Kyo who was still crying. Finally Kyo gave in, there was no way one could change Toshiya’s mind when he has decided on something. He will just have to constantly keep an eye on the younger man to make sure he doesn’t overwork his body. “ You better keep your promise or else….” Kyo threatened playfully. Toshiya just nodded and smile. However little did Kyo know that that afternoon was the beginning of a long awaited war. A war only Toshiya could fight and if he lose…he may lose everything….even his life…. That night after dinner, Toshiya asked the driver to drive him to a place- Die’s sushi bar. Even after so many years, Toshiya still kept himself updated with what’s happening in Die and Shinya’s life no matter how busy he was because he really cared. Little did Die and Shinya know that almost once every week, Toshiya will order the driver to get him some sushi from Die’s sushi bar. To Toshiya, being able to see his friends was perhaps the most exciting thing that ever happened to him in a week, there were many times he wanted to just get down of the car, run to his friends, hugged them and tell them how much he missed talking to them…yet everytime Toshiya told himself that it was enough for him…just to watch them from afar… Nearly 20 minutes passed by and finally they reached the main entrance to the sushi bar. “ Nakamura, can you go in and get me some sushi…?” “ Sure, sir, please wait for me in the car then…” “ Thanks…” Before Nakamura left the car, Toshiya handed a piece of paper to him. “ Give this to the owner of the Bar, say it is a present from a big sushi fan of his…” “ Yes, Sir…” Nakamura left for the sushi bar. It was raining outside and Toshiya had begun to feel chilly…there was a small ache in his heart and he started to have difficulty breathing. “ It’s must be the medicine…” Toshiya had gotten used the drugs that Kyo gave him, it has a drowsy effect just to force Toshiya to rest and looks like Kyo increased the dose this time. His head was pounding and not long later, all he could see was darkness… Where are you, Die….? Please…get me out of this darkness…please…Die…don’t leave me… “ Welcome….!!!” Shinya greeted the Nakamura who had just ran into the shop because of the heavy rain. “ Ah…the usual sushi please…” Nakamura ordered politely, slightly blushing when he saw the beautiful man standing before him. Shinya was naturally feminine looking and had a very sexy voice, he is both a man and a lady killer in his own special way. “ Hai…please wait a moment…” Shinya went to Die’s side and told him the order, he then instructed the master chef to make the ordered sushi. Die specifically mentioned that it is made for a VIP customer and the master must make sure every material used is the most fresh and tender and each piece must be of the best quality. “ So how did your master find the sushi the last time…?” asked Shinya politely. “ He loved it…he asked me to thank you and Die- sama for the wonderful meal…” “ It is us that should be thanking your master for his support…we hadn’t have a customer who so frequently orders sushi from us…” Die said as he walked towards them and took a stand beside Shinya. “ So you still can’t tell me who your master is?” “ No, he prefers to remain anonymous…” “ Ok….but do tell him that we really appreciate his support and if he wants to dine in privately next time, we will keep a private room specially for him…” said Shinya while taking over the sushi that were ready from the master chef. “ Thank you…here’s the money…” “ Wait…what is …” Shinya looked at the piece of paper, it was a cheque and the amount that given was a few hundred times more than what was owed. “ It is a present from my master…he says he really like your sushi bar and so he hope that the shop will stay on forever…he said to use the money for any purpose you wish for the shop…” Shinya handed back the cheque to Nakamura, “ Take it back, we don’t deserve this…” Nakamura refused to accept. He just turned and walked away leaving two puzzled man behind. Nakamura ran back to the car and realized that Toshiya had fallen asleep. He put down the sushi quietly beside him and took the jacket beside Toshiya to cover his body that was shivering. “ Poor little kid…” Later, Nakamura drove off slowly away from the sushi bar, making sure he didn’t wake Toshiya up. It had been a busy night at the sushi bar and finally the long night was over, Shinya was counting the money in the cash till when he came across the cheque once again. “ Isn’t is weird?” asked Shinya to Die who was busy mopping the floor. “ Huh?” “ This cheque…why would an ordinary customer be so generous to give us all this money?…and how did he know we needed money to renovate the shop…?” “ Well….one thing is for sure, he isn’t an ordinary customer and secondly, he must have heard Nakamura talk about it…I mean we did tell Nakamura that we want to re- renovate the shop…” “ Oh…but…even if his master loved our sushi that much…it is still too much money…do you think that this money is illegal…?” “ Well, Shin, don’t you think you’re thinking too much…I heard Nakamura said that his master is a man of reputation in the business field, so I guess this money is legal…perhaps God answered our prayers ne…haha….” Shinya sighed, perhaps he was just thinking too much…yet somehow he still felt something fishy was going on… “ So how’s he?” “ Who?” “ Toshiya…” “ He is just like the evening news about him…the strong and wealthy man in the business field…” “ He still hates us, isn’t it?” Die looked at Shinya with pain evident in his eyes. He just sighed. “ Yeah…Toshiya has an inherited heart problem and he shouldn’t stress himself too much or he will sooner or later die of a heart failure…Lately, he had frequently pass out due to his heart condition….Kaoru brought me to see him in hope that he will listen to me…as a friend…but he just asked me to go away and told me that he doesn’t need any of our help…” “ Die…” Shinya saw that Die hurting when he talked about Toshiya. “ It’s ok, Shin…It was me who betrayed our relationship…it’s alright for him to hate me…but it hurts to know that he is hurting himself like that…and I don’t want to lose him…” Shinya just held Die hands into his own and gave it a light squeeze. “ You didn’t tell him about what happen between us?” “ He didn’t let me…moreover…why should he give me another chance….he hates me…” “ Die, you should talk to him again…tell him how you feel about him…these 5 years, no matter what happen, you never stopped loving him, did you?…Now you finally have a chance to meet him again…and this is the time when he needs a person like you beside him…prove to him that you’re worth a second chance….” Die just stared at Shinya. “ You’re not mad at me…?” Shinya pretended to pout. “ Of course I’m mad…..!!!! You bastard…!!!” Die gulped at the fierce shouting. Then before Die could react any further, Shinya broke out in laughter. “ Haha….look at your guilty face….haha…can’t tolerate that stupid look on your face….” Die was puzzled. “ Die, I was mad in the beginning…but not now…it hurts to let you go and it hurts to know that in the end you’re not mine to keep…but I admire your love for Toshiya…so beautiful that even jealous eyes could not harm that beauty…it would be a sin to break such beauty…and I don’t want to bear the consequence of breaking it…don’t worry about me, Die…I will find my happiness one day…I’m sure I would…for now, as a friend, I want to see you happy and not torn between the guilt and love between all three of us…don’t you think you have been punished enough…?” Die suddenly just stood up and hugged the younger man before him. “ Shin…!!!!! Thank you, friend…” Shinya just hugged back and smile. “ Ok now, let’s get packing and you can sent me home…” RRRRingggggg….. “ Mushi..mush…” Toshiya answered his mobile phone while searching for the light switches near his bed. “ Hello….!!!!! Good morning…Totchi…..!!!!!!!” “ What the f--?!!!” “Hey Totchi…..I just called to say I MISS YOU…!!!! How’ bout breakfast tomorrow?…I’ll pick you up at your place around 8…?” “ Die…do you have any idea what time it is now?…Are you crazy…..??!!!!! By the way…I don’t have time for your nonsense….GOOD NIGHT DIE…..!!!” “ Awww….don’t be so cold blooded, see you tomorrow then…ja….” Before Toshiya could shout at the phone again, Die had already hung up. Suddenly Toshiya had a very familiar feeling crop up within him…it reminded him of how Die used to “entice” him when he tried to attract Toshiya’s attention. He would get Toshiya’s number by bribing Toshiya’s friends into giving it to him and then he will call in the middle of the night just to say “hi” or say a bunch of nonsense until Toshiya got really irritated and slammed the phone down. Things like that continued to happen until Toshiya slowly got used to it and actually didn’t mind being irritated anymore, that was when he started to notice Die’s presence… He had nearly forgotten this feeling…by the way…..what was Die up to this time…? “ Ohayo, sir…” “ Ah, ohayo…have Kaoru arrived already?” Toshiya asked his butler who was preparing his breakfast for him. “ Yes, he is waiting in the living hall…” “ Bring him in here, I want to speak to him…” “ Yes, sir…” The butler left and soon came back with Kaoru following behind him. “ Morning, Toshiya.” “ Morning, please sit.” “ How is my schedule today?” “ You have nothing in the morning but your flight to New York this afternoon at 5 is confirmed, the New York office has been notified about your arrival and all arrangement has been settled.” “ Good.” Suddenly horns of a car was heard. The horning was continuous as though done in purpose. “ What’s that noise….don’t they know that this is a private property and only private cars are allowed?!” Toshiya asked the butler, obviously annoyed by the noise. “ Let me go and check now, sir…” The butler excused himself and 10 minutes later, the horning still did not stop. “ Sir, a guy name Die asked to see you immediately and said that he had an appointment with you…if you don’t go out and meet him, he will keep horning..” “ What a nuisance…!!!!” Toshiya threw his morning paper aside and slammed his palm on the dining table. “ Called the police…!!!!” “ Yes, Sir…” “ No…!” Kaoru suddenly shouted. “ What?!” “ I mean…let me talk to him…you don’t really want Die to be in jail do you?” “ …Ok….make sure he is out of my compound in 10 minutes, that’s all the patience I have for him….!!! If not I will called the police myself…!!!” Toshiya left the dining hall and headed for his room. Kaoru immediately ran out to see his friend. “ Die…!!!” “ Oh hi, Kao….” “ It’s no time to “hi” now…..what the hell do you think you are doing?” “ Reminding Toshiya about our date…” “ What date..?” “ He promised to eat breakfast with me this morning…..” “ He didn’t just promise you like in the “ normal way” did he?” Kaoru looked at his friend suspiciously. Die just returned his answer with a silly grin upon his face. “ Come on, Die, spit it up, what’s up your sleeves now?” “ Haha…you know me too well Kao…the truth is…I want Toshiya to give me a second chance…I still love him and I want him back…most importantly…I don’t want to lose him…” “ Hmm….” “ Please help me, Kao…please….!!!!!” Die trying desperately to work his puppy eye magic on Kaoru. “ Fine then, I will help you…but love will have to wait…Toshiya has a busy schedule this week and he will be in New York for the next two weeks…” “ New York?” “ Yeap…we are leaving this afternoon at 5…” “ Oh…..AHHH!!!!…I understand….!!!Thank you so much Kao….I better get going now…..!!!!! Thanks for the tip, Kao…!!!!” “ Huh?” Kaoru sweat dropped. Before he could say anything further, Die has already driven off. “ Kaoru, did you tell him about schedule….?” “ Err…but I did tell him you were going to be busy…” “ Then why is he here…?” Toshiya pointed to Die who standing beside Kaoru, looking at both men innocently. “ Ermmm….why are you here, Die?” Die just laughed. “ Haha….well…..it’s time to take a break…I am going to New York with you all…” Toshiya just rolled his eyes, annoyed with the whole situation. “ I have no time for such nonsense…Kaoru, where’s Kyo? We are running late already..” “ He says he will meet us in New York later, he has something on his hands…” “ Alright, let’s go…” Toshiya just took his coat and walked away from the two men, totally ignoring the silly grin that was on Die’s face. “ Hey, Kao….that’s a start….at least he didn’t ask to me to fuck off this time….right?” “ I don’t know what you are trying to do…but this is a serious business trip, Die…it relates to the life and death of Hara. Corp….if we lose this project…we might lose the whole company…” “ Don’t worry, Kao, I won’t get in your way…just take me along with you…” “ Oh well…I can’t say no, can I?….you even bought your ticket…” Kaoru rolled his eyes and sighed. “ Haha….NEW YORK…….HERE WE COME…..!!!!!!” Die shouted excitedly while grabbing Kaoru along with him to the check in counter. The plane finally landed in the New York Airport. Die, who was the first one to exit the customs control by flirting with the lady officers, immediately grabbed hold of Toshiya who was behind him, and took a Polaroid photo of the both of them together. Somehow, Toshiya didn’t look very happy in the picture, but he didn’t say anything about Die’s action. In fact, he was too tired and weak to do anything to Die at this moment. Die noticed the paleness and was starting to get worried. “ Totchi, daijyoubu?” Toshiya just ignored him and walk straight towards the exit. Kaoru just got hold of Die and followed Toshiya immediately. “ Toshiya hates delays and slow people, especially when he is working…if you want to stick with me, you better listen to what I say…or else…I’m not helping you get to him…” Suddenly Die’s face lit up with hope. “ Kao….you decided to help me?…..” Die looked at Kaoru with gratefulness all over his face. “ Yeah…after all, I want the kid to be happy…and you just happen to be my best buddy….so….” “ Thank you, Kao….!!!!!!” Die hugged his friend so tight that he nearly suffocate. Just then Toshiya shouted. “ Keep it moving, will you?! I have no time to waste…!” As arranged formerly, a car was to pick them up from the airport but they waited and waited yet still no sign of the car. Toshiya was starting to get impatient. “ Kaoru, I thought everything was being arranged properly already?” “ Yes…let me give them a call….” Suddenly a red car, driven with high speed, was heading towards Toshiya’s direction. Sensing danger, Die quickly grabbed hold of Toshiya and pulled him further inside of the airport. At the same time, gun shots were heard. A few seconds later, the shooting stopped and the car was driven away as quickly as it had came about. Die was standing before Toshiya’s body, shielding him. Both men were looking at each other intensely as though each of them were telling to the other the stories they had wanted to share…how much they miss each other….how much they needed each other…how much they loved each other… The eye contact didn’t break until finally Die closed his eyes and collapsed before Toshiya. At that moment, Toshiya saw the patch of bloodstain on Die’s back. He had been shot… Author’s note: Want to know what happen between Die and Shinya..? There will be an additional part added about what happen between them later. As usual, C/C s plz, thx for reading.
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unfinished