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Destiny Part 11-15 by Cherrie
part 1	part 2	part 3	part 4	part 5
Part 1
Destiny Standard disclaimers apply, *sweatdrops* I can't seem to get that phrase away from my fanfics! >_< But…oh well, at least it goes for goody points, ne? ^-^' Chapter done in Kurama's point of view. Anou…my bad, is Botan sounding like Kurama or is Kurama sounding like Botan? *sweatdrops* Huhu…gomen!!! >_< Heya…I was going over my reviews (minna, thank you for having the time!), there's someone there who had asked for more lime? *sheepish grin* Well, you DID have a good point =p I'm a bit under-aged, so don't expect any good lime, but I'll try my best to keep giving off the expected "emotional distress", okay? =^-^= Thank you! Chapter 11 "Anou…" I looked down, feeling my cheeks suddenly grow warm. I'm not really the type who would blush that easily, but what I had done was a heavy sin when you look straight down at it. And I did it in front of the whole school body for that matter! I couldn't believe the words that came out of my mouth, but given another situation, I might've done the same. Hyo Imonu, he's been after me ever since I transferred here for some reason. And I didn't exactly like this late trick that he just did. Usually, I would've ignored him, but this time, he's insulting someone other than me. And that someone just happened to be her. I was so furious that I didn't even notice what I was doing. "Gomen." And I meant it. I just hope that her reaction wouldn't hurt as much as I feared it would. But, after everything that I had done to her, I guess, if she did hurt me, I deserved it. Not just because of that show I've put up. I deserved the pain of everything that I had ever done to her. And I hate myself for always being the one who would hurt her the most. Because as my previous anger towards Imonu increases, so would my anger to myself. Much as I try not to think about it, I didn't deserve even the simplest of her smiles. I'm asking for forgiveness, and yet I didn't dare expect it from her. I would much rather preferred to be hated by her, for her to despise me. Yes, that would be better. Then I wouldn't be so hurt for everything I had done. That was fair for her, isn't it? I readied myself and dared to look up. I expected a glare, a disappointed and hateful frown, but there was none. Quite the contrary actually, it was so unsuspected that it actually came out as an ironic surprise. She was smiling. "It's okay." I was so shocked I didn't know what to do. I couldn't believe what I had heard, what I was seeing. It's okay. It was such a short, simple phrase, but heaven only knows how much that had meant to me. True, I had intended, even wished, that she would hate me, but now I'm doubting if ever that was even possible. I thought that having her do so would lift a bit of my guilt. But I can't deny the fact that I still want to be loved and understood. Especially by her. "I don't mind, I'm just glad that I could help you out in getting rid of him. He's been bothering you for a long time, ne?" she asked, her casualness with things was almost a comfort. I stared down at her smiling expression before I even responded. Yes, she still had that smile. And yes, she was still as beautiful as before. I would've drowned myself again if only those words did not register. What did she say? I blinked. "H-Hai…how did you know?" She knew Imonu was bothering me? Now, it's her turn to blush. "A-Anou…there were times when I would go to Yusuke's school and I would pass you by…and…" she looked down, her cheeks turning a few more shades of red. She started playing with her shoes, tapping them alternately down the pavement as she tried to avoid my gaze. I smiled. I smiled as I watched her fidget in her place, smiled as I stared down at the cute way she would play with her fingers in an attempt to divert her attention to something else. So, did that mean that she was watching me then? Not to be a bit egotistic, but I can't help but being honored with that. Whether or not it meant something, I'm not sure. But I was happy. She was still trying to avoid my stare. Well, I suppose I've been staring a bit too much anyway. I shook my head, our awkwardness almost a bit too much to bear. But she forgave me. No matter how hard I tried to convince myself that I'm not worth her time and understanding, I still can't help the joy I felt when she said those words. Call me naïve, but I'm just too moped out in my own dark world that such a little thing had cost so much. She spoke to me. I couldn't believe it. Botan and I are talking again. She somehow got over her shyness and suddenly jumped up, hitting her palm with her fist. "Oh no! I just remembered!" she exclaimed, looking over to where we had left Kuwabara. "Kuwabara-kun! We have to go!" she called, waving an arm up to catch Kuwabara's attention. The latter finally snapped out of his shock from the earlier "show" I had displayed, and started running towards us. I chuckled. I suppose he was able to understand what I had earlier explained. "Baka Kurama! So you mean you only said that Botan here is your girlfriend because you want him to go away, and so he wouldn't go bothering Botan, right?" he suddenly asked, looking at me while he pointed at Botan. I merely blinked, looking back at him in mild puzzlement. "Uh…Kuwabara-san…" "Kuwabara-kun, we have to find Yusuke!" Botan said, running up to the gate as she gestured us to follow quickly. Kuwabara snapped out again, hitting his palm as Botan earlier did. He then turned to me and grasped my shoulder a bit to violently in a frenzied haste. "Kurama! You HAVE to help us! Yusuke's kidnapped!!!" I stilled. "Nani?!" I looked down the letter, clutching it a bit too tightly in my hands. "But…Yusuke is strong enough to take care of himself." I was saying it more to myself than to anybody. I was surprised to find out that Yusuke was taken, especially when Botan said that those who took him were humans. Surely, Yusuke was stronger than that, wasn't he? We were walking in an overpass now, with me still contemplating on the concept of a human stronger than Yusuke, with Botan remaining quiet by my side as she watched Kuwabara grumble things about Hiei. That was when I remembered. According to the letter, they want Kuwabara and I, together with Hiei, to come to them. I was actually surprised that they know who Hiei and I are. I frowned. Had we been that careless? "That stupid shrimp! I bet he's lost and looking for his way home!!!" Kuwabara yelled in frustration as he scanned the city He leaned on the rails, keeping still and silent as he looked around. But much to our horror, he suddenly took a deep breath and…"HIIIIEEEEEEEEEEIIIII!!!" I took a step back. Botan panicked. A few pedestrians below us looked up, their gazes mainly focused on Kuwabara It seems as though Kuwabara had developed a somehow ridiculous search method for all of us. First in my school, now the whole city? But sad to say, he was oblivious to all of that as he tried in vain to call for Hiei. And knowing Hiei, he wouldn't come out because of this. I think he'd even be amused and would let Kuwabara worry even more if he finds it interesting to watch. "Kuwabara-kun, stop that!" Botan exclaimed, trying to pull Kuwabara away from the rails. She was doing it in vain though, Kuwabara was trying to pull himself free from her grasp and settled on shouting even louder. "Kuwabara-kun, I swear! If Koenma-sama finds out…" she paused, seeming to have remembered something. Indeed, I supposed she had, for her eyes brightened a bit despite the lights of the city as she let Kuwabara go in an instant. "That's it! I remember!" she said happily, abruptly facing me. "When Yusuke became a spirit detective, Koenma-sama gave us a few gadgets that may help in missions. Maybe we could use that!" Kuwabara glared at her. "You mean you actually HAVE something of use and you didn't tell us?!" She grinned sheepishly. "Gomen! I'll go get them, go on without me. I'll just meet you two later, okay?" she said, and started to run in another direction. Kuwabara and I stared at her retreating back as she went down the steps down the overpass. I sighed. Kuwabara tilted his head to one side, a spark of confusion playing in his narrowed eyes. "Oi…Kurama, did she even try to tell us where to meet?" "Gomen!!!" I shook my head as Botan repeatedly bowed apologetically in front of us, her things lying sprawled beside her as she did so. That's right, we lost our precious little time looking for each other again, but really, it was no big deal. It was only a matter of minutes, Botan found us from above well enough, even if Kuwabara was in near panic. And he was not pleased, he was exasperated as he continuously scolded her about several points, which, I must say, I need not mention for their absurdity. I sighed. I was patiently watching them as Botan finally got tired of apologizing and most probably got tired of Kuwabara's ranting. She glared at him and hit him with her oar, quickly dodging Kuwabara's falling form as she headed towards me with her case. "Gomen, oh great sir, I'll just look for someone at least human enough to understand that I too make mistakes!" her voice was sarcastic and mocking as she threw them at Kuwabara. I thought I heard a faint, "That much?!" from Kuwabara before he got hit with the oar again. My head momentarily dropped wearily at the antics they were pulling, only to look up to see her smiling at me. "Here they are!" I watched her set her things down on the ground. I followed suit and crouched across from her as she pulled out a few objects from the case. Kuwabara seemed to have regained consciousness again as he quickly positioned himself to see as well. "Uhm…this compass can find a youkai specifically if you put in the right data. We can make use of a hair or nail, anything!" Botan said, holding up a tiny black, spherical gadget with red arrows in the middle. I stared at it as she handed it to me. "Good, good. Do you have anything that belongs to Hiei?" I asked. "Er…not exactly." She replied dejectedly. I raised an eyebrow. "…I see. So what do you intend to do then?" "Uhm…this ring!" she exclaimed, holding up a ring between her fingers after she quickly snatched the compass from me. "It can help us…er…well, it doesn't exactly meet the purpose…ah, forget that!" "Uh, sure." A sweatdrop had run down my head. Kuwabara slapped himself and shook his head. "A-Anou…! There's a remote…" "Don't tell me, a remote that'll control Hiei's tiny brain if ever he has any, right?" I sweatdropped. "Kuwabara..." "Oi, Kurama! Tell that pea-sized pal of yours that if Yusuke dies on this, I'm gonna get his neck! Yes! ONLY his neck, 'cause I'm gonna shove his goddamned empty head right back so he'd hang around Makai looking like a dumb, neckless, idiot!!!" I shook my head and turned to Botan. "So, what does the remote do again?" But she was thinking, pouting actually as she eventually tossed the remote aside. "Uhm…I don't know! I knew should've listened to Koenma-sama a bit more!." "Uh, Botan, we don't have all night." "Hai, hai! Gomen!" I can't help but sigh in exasperation, placing a bit of pressure on my temples to ease the headache. And as I glanced at my side and at Kuwabara, it looks as though he's going through the same frustration as I was. I can't believe it really, just a while ago, Botan and I could barely move around each other. But now…this! This little search for Hiei had pushed all things between us aside, me knowing how to look at her again, her knowing how to act naturally with me. I don't know whether or not I should thank Botan's habit of having people in circles, but in a selfish way, yes, I'm thanking it. And I'm thanking the situation as well. In a rather in-denial state, I'm also thanking Yusuke for getting kidnapped. She rummaged through her things again, and I had to hide a sigh as I watched. Heavens, Kuwabara's already praying for a miracle now. Not that I'm saying that I didn't like it, I was rather amused. But in a situation like this, let's say we were running out of time. But it does give me a good excuse to look at her and talk to her so…nevermind. Yusuke's in danger, I shouldn't let petty schoolboy feelings bother me at a time like this! But still... "Botan…" "There should be something in here, I swear!" I sighed again, shaking my head slowly. But even through all these frustration, I still can't help the slight curving of my lips. I must be going mad, only by reminding myself over and over that Yusuke was in danger could I help myself from laughing out loud. And by the look that Kuwabara's giving, he looked like he's going to be really confused if ever I had any plan of laughing at all. But still I gave the situation its well-deserved (in a manner of speaking) smile. Oh Botan, I love you, but sometimes I tend to ask myself if ever I'd understand this side of your thoughts. "I found it!" "I bet Yusuke's dead by now..." I glanced over at Kuwabara, who seems to be more than impatient to get out of the place, casting Botan a very bored look. I shook my head again. She ignored him. "This whistle can be heard from miles if someone with a strong ki would blow on it. With my ki, I might probably be able to blow it as far as one mile," she explained, showing us a silver whistle. It gleamed against the city lights, swaying to and fro from the strings attached to it. It was rather simple really, but the clean, smooth surface made up for its simplicity. "Okay, cover your ears, this'll be painful." Kuwabara and I merely stared at it, obeying Botan's order and covered our ears. She poised it to her lips and blew. She was right, the sound was deafening, but it seems as though Kuwabara wasn't able to hear it. He had let go of his ears, looking around us as the whistle went on in its shrill cry. I glanced over to Botan who finally lost her breath, panting slightly as she looked around. She frowned, her arm falling dismally beside her. "No Hiei." Just as she said this, a gentle rustling was heard from behind her, only to be followed by a low thud. We glanced back behind Botan, seeing a certain dark-haired figure behind a tree, muttering curses as he rubbed his head in obvious irritation. "WHAT in the name of HELL was THAT?!" Kaitou. So he was one of them. I never would've thought I'd meet him here. And I never would've thought he'd come this far. I glared at him, not being able to help myself as I watched him look down at the souls of my friends in his hand. He was saying something, but I was too much in a rage to actually listen to all of them. We were seated in the middle of the room, with him being able to win Hiei's, Kuwabara's and Botan's souls in his little territorial game. "Ne, Minamino. Don't you think a girl's spirit is pretty?" he asked suddenly amidst his other statements. This one certainly caught me aback, the question registering on my mind. A girl's spirit? My glare sharpened, and I felt my fingers tense as I held my calm. My lips pursed in a thin line, my teeth trying to bite my tongue to keep me from saying anything that might further harm them. But I felt awful, the sudden sickness in my stomach was almost unbearable as I watched him twirl one orb in his hand, his eyes reflecting menace before he joined it up with the other two again. A girl's spirit. He was talking about Botan. He was playing with Botan. "Would you like me to play with them for a while Minamino? How about if I shake this girl's gorgeous soul, I wonder what would happen…" He was about to take a hold of Botan's soul again when… "Stop." And he did, his eyes looking up from the rim of his thick glasses to look at me. "Eh? What's that, Minamino?" I felt my eyebrow twitch furiously as I forced myself to be calm. "Don't you dare. Or else." It was a simple threat, but it did the trick. He tensed a little, only to lean forward in mild interest as he looked at me straight in the eye. "I see, so I finally saw you angry. You were always the calm in school." "Shut up," much as I tried to regain my composure, he was talking a bit too much that it irritates me. I want to defeat him somehow, I want to get out of his territory. The smell was unbearable, the heat was unbearable, and the fact that he held three precious items in his hand didn't help me at all. "Your territory, can the rules be changed?" "Hm? What do you mean?" "I mean, the forbidden word, it can be changed, can't it?" I asked, a tiny hope of victory forming in my head. He smiled proudly, leaning on his free hand. "Of course, I can do pretty much anything I want in my territory." I nodded. "Look, we're wasting time in here. We both know that neither of us is going to say the word. If you would allow me, I bet you that I can defeat you in 45 minutes, that is, if you let me decide on the rules." He raised one eyebrow as he looked at me suspiciously. Although, the little flick of curiosity and interest didn't remain invisible to me. I grinned inwardly, straightening myself up as I waited for his answer. Kaitou has always been the one who loved challenges. But I wasn't exactly sure whether or not my plan would work, but I had to come up with a way that would trigger Kaitou's attention. I looked down to stare at three orbs, their inner light playing around the bright confines of their sphere. Hiei was the first one to have been caught. There was no surprise in that from me really, he was always the one who can't stand rules, I knew he wouldn't last. Kuwabara was next. And Botan had been caught either out of sheer carelessness or her instinct to argue and fight for Kuwabara. But either way, I didn't mind, that was Botan. And I'll be doing this for them. "Have you decided?" I asked. Kaitou looked at me. "So…what if I win in this little game of yours, huh?" I took a deep breath, uncertain of my decision. But as I looked at the floating soul of my best friend, my comrade…and especially that of the one I love, I knew that there was no turning back now. My gaze fixed itself upon Botan's soul specifically, the dim glow almost hypnotizing me. I've had her friendship back, I've had her back, and I'm not going to lose her again just because of Kaitou. "If you win…" No. I'll never lose her again. Never. "My soul is yours." End of chapter 11
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Part 12
Destiny Standard disclaimers apply; Yu Yu Hakusho and all mentioned characters are not mine. This took a while compared to the other chapters, so sorry, I'm a little bit on the confused side right now ^-^' I think it's because it's hard putting Botan in a sad part of the story, she's almost always seen laughing. Anyway, chapter is done in Botan's point of view. Warning! Major sap in this chapter, guess I have to thank Rav-chan for that! *bursts out laughing and waves at Raven* It's not exactly the way it should go, in fact, I never really knew what would happen but, *points at hands* they have a different brain, remember? ^_~ This chapter is supposed to be about friendship but…*looks down at chapter* er…*cough* I have no idea how it went to THAT! They just went on their own ^_^ Also, Kurama's OOC, but hey, who knows what's he's like when he's in love, ne? ^_~ (Yech! That sounded MAJORLY sappy! *bonks head on wall*) Chapter 12 By the time I was able to open my eyes, I met with the worse headache I've had ever since I could remember. I sat up and brought a hand up to my head, wincing as I felt my head a bit shaken. "Are you hurt?" I looked up, and met with the biggest, warmest green eyes I ever remembered setting my sights upon that it was difficult not to lose myself in speechless staring. I forced myself to look away, shaking my head to wake myself up from the daze I felt. "I-I don't know, my head hurts," I muttered, considering whether or not I should take the hand that was being offered to me. I still wasn't used to being close to him, I still felt uneasy. Yet my body thought otherwise. Seeing how I'm unable to stand on my own feet at the moment, I knew I needed the aid. Kurama pulled me up, guiding me to sit down on a nearby chair. "Your body is in shock from being separated from the spirit, you might be feeling sick." He smoothed up my hair from my eyes, and I'll be a fool if I say this didn't make me blush. But he seemed oblivious of my reaction as he reached up behind his hair and pulled out a single leaf. He held it in front of my seemingly dry, closed mouth, ushering me to take it in. "Chew this and let it stay between your teeth, it'll help the nausea." I nodded my head once, wincing again as I felt a sudden sickness in my stomach build up. Without hesitation, I took the leaf in my hand, crushed it and brought it inside my mouth. The taste was bitter, that I couldn't help stopping myself from chewing it and just quickly hid it between my teeth. I don't know why the dizziness stopped, whether it was really the effect or my brain just stopped working from the awful taste. But either way, I was thankful, despite the taste. He nodded his head after I steadied, signaling that I had done what he told me. He then stood up and headed for the table. Two shining orbs floated above the surface, and Kurama took these in his hands. My eyes flew behind me, as a gasp escaped from my lips when I saw Kazuma-kun and Hiei still as cold as statues. Then I remembered. Kaitou's territory. The forbidden word. I remembered. Hiei was the first one taken, then Kazuma-kun, then me. I sat motionless in my seat, all in all ashamed of my carelessness. After all, I just had to be stupid enough to slip the word out. Hiei-kun was there to see how Kaitou's ability works, Kazuma-kun didn't know that saying it silently is forbidden. It was I who was the ditzy one who said it out loud. Without thinking even. Soft, light laughter sounded through the enclosed room and cut through my thoughts. I frowned and turned my back, looking over at Kurama as his laughter grew louder, his back to me. "What?!" I asked, irritated, gritting my teeth to keep the leaf between my teeth. He shook his head. "Nothing," he stopped laughing, stood still, then turned around to look at me. His eyes were soft, a small smile still lingering in his lips. "Don't think about it much, you were worried about Kuwabara," he said, Kazuma and Hiei's spirits still in his hands. He looked at them for a moment, a tiny tinge of worry in his eyes. I lowered my gaze. Despite his reassurance, I still felt guilty about leaving him alone like that. I was supposed to stay with him, but idiot Botan-chan just can't keep her mouth shut, can she? I shook my head and sighed. I stood up and went over a garbage bin, getting rid of the bitter leaf from my mouth. It worked, I didn't feel as sick as I was before. I went back to my seat and hugged myself. "I wonder how Yusuke's doing." "He'll be all right," he said, almost confidently. I turned back to him and saw him lowering Kazuma and Hiei's spirit orbs into their respective bodies. I blinked, watching the spirits penetrate through the body. The thought of having the spirits mixed up crossed me and made me laugh. I wonder what Hiei would say when he finds out he's inside Kazuma-kun. I was Kurama shook his head, joining me in his silent way of laughing. "The spirits have respective bodies, Botan, they can't get mixed up." I ‘hmphed', glaring at him as he waited for the two to wake up. "Stop reading my thoughts!" He laughed again. "I can't help it, I guess I can somehow figure out what you're thinking of." I frowned, my eyes lowering again. It was silence again, enveloping us in its heart-braking coldness. I stole a glance of Kurama crouching down to attend to Kazuma-kun and Hiei, quietly watching over them both. I felt my lips tremble, my hands clutching my arms in a tighter hug. Kurama. He knows me well it seems. Has it been so long? I looked up at the sound of Kazuma's yawning and the low grunt Hiei usually gives out when he's hurt. I saw Kazuma-kun sit up first, holding his head with one eye tightly shut in an obvious wince. He looked up at Kurama, then me, then Kurama again. He then looked at his hands. "Whoa! I'm alive!" Hiei grunted again. He was lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling as he tried to catch his breath. He didn't even look at Kazuma-kun. "Baka. We're not supposed to die yet." Kazuma-kun started, grabbing Hiei by his neckline and glared at him. "What did you call me, you dumb koorime?!" Hiei returned the glare and slapped Kazuma's hands away. "Baka, you baka! Are you as deaf as you are dumb?" Kazuma was about to jump on Hiei when Kurama caught him by the arm. "Enough Kuwabara, Yusuke's still waiting for us." Kazuma-kun blinked, looking down at Kurama, then turned around to look around the room. "Hell of a green thumb you've got, Kurama." I didn't know how I missed it at first, but there were plants all around us, the room was almost flooded with them. Argh! Baka Botan-chan, you really need to have your brain examined. I shook my head and just settled on watching Kazuma-kun burrow his way around the plants, pushing them back and stepping into them as if looking for something. "Oi, Kurama! Kaitou's here!" Hiei rolled his eyes and stepped closer to Kurama. "We should go." Kurama nodded. He called Kazuma and led us towards the door. I followed silently. I looked at Kurama, and then to Kazuma-kun and Hiei, who were still obviously still in a daze. Hiei was doing well enough on his own though, but Kazuma-kun kept on alternating his head from side to side, probably looking for the right position. I waited for Kurama to offer him the same medicine, but it didn't seem that he was planning to do so. I sweatdropped. Yuu-chan and Kazuma-kun are still shocked when they found out that it was all Genkai-baasan's doing. Kurama wasn't the least bit surprised since he was actually expecting it, and Hiei, he didn't look like he cared at all. And Hiei also, left when Koenma-sama said that he was just a class-B type of youkai. Koenma-sama said that Hiei must've been disappointed. Genkai-baasan clapped her hands to call our attention. "It's a bit late, so we'll settle ourselves in here, all right?" Kazuma-kun jumped back, his face filled with horror. "NANI?! But I can't sleep without a pillow!" he screeched. He then turned to me. "Ne, Botan-chan, mind if I use you as a pillow?" I felt a vein pop as my fist mechanically met with his face, hearing a few of his teeth break beneath my punch. I was still fuming as he fell down unconscious on the floor, sprawled a little bit on the ungraceful side. I held my chin up. "Pervert! I took care of your sleeping problems for you!" Yusuke had to hold me down to keep me from kicking Kazuma's heap for a fallen body. He dragged me by the arm and, to my horror and surprise, pushed me to Kurama. I stumbled towards him, Yusuke purposely meant to do that, that he had to catch me lest I fall flat on the floor. "There! YOU take care of her, I don't like sleeping next to Botan lest I get myself a kick on the face or a punch if ever Keiko-chan finds out!" He grinned and waved at us, snickering on his way as he ran around the room table to settle himself on the wall across from us. I was about to throw something at Yusuke when I felt a warm hand hold my wrist firmly but gently, asking me to look up at who it was that held me. I blushed, remembering who it was that I was pushed to, remembering who it was who held me. I didn't look up. Kurama pulled me away, laying a hand up to my shoulder to calm me down. But as far as I'm concerned, I was already too much into bursting into hysterics, he need not ask me to settle down, I'm unable to talk even if my life depended on it. But Kurama, he was still cool and composed as he settled me down on a nearby corner. Even if I was a bit uneasy, I had to admit that he had positioned me quite comfortably enough for sleep. He crouched in front of me and smiled. "Are you sleepy?" he asked gently, thoughtfully lowering his voice to keep the others from waking up. I looked up at him and realized that I wasn't. My heartbeat was too fast, like a madly beating drum that I doubted can put me to sleep. I shook my head. "I'm fine. But I'm not yet sleepy though." Kurama shrugged and sat beside me, pulling one knee up and wound an arm around it as he leaned his head back against the wall. "I'm tired, but strange as it may sound, I'm not sleepy either," he said, closing his eyes but opening them momentarily. He sighed, looked around at the others, then tilted his head to look at me, lowering his voice to a whisper. "Ne, mind if we talk for a while?" I was still feeling uneasy sitting here with him, but I nodded. I was hesitant, but I can't help it. I really wanted to talk to him as well. I felt like I needed to, even if I don't know what to talk about at all. But I guess I needed to assure myself that everything was all right. I was never used to feeling uneasy around anybody before, yet I never felt as safe, as right, with anybody else except for Kurama either. It was as if I was always meant to be with him, whether or not it was from his hold or just plain having him with me, I didn't care. I tried to stay away, but something was always pulling me to him. We were silent at first, neither of us spoke for a few minutes. I was the one who broke the silence. "Kurama? Are you angry with me?" He raised an eyebrow at me, his lips curving up to a small smile. "Would I be asking you talk if I am?" he asked, an amused smile playing on his face. I couldn't help keeping my stare this time, and I let myself look at him straightly now. Yes, he was still as beautiful as he was then. I don't know if it was just me or something else, but I thought I saw a glint of his golden eyes beneath those emerald ones, that I had to blink myself away from them before I lose it again. "It's…" I started, lowering my eyes to hands. "It's just that, I still…" I still love you. But I couldn't say it. I kept myself silent, my lips trembling as I felt the tiny tinge of heated tears in my eyes. I tried Kurama, I really did. But I can't get rid of it. I'll understand it if you'll hate me, but I'll never turn my back to you. I love you. I felt his eyes one me. "Botan?" I shook my head, forcing my earlier thoughts at the back of my mind. "N-Nothing. Nevermind, it was nothing." Silence again. Funny how the irony of it all kept me from laughing. I was always the happy one, and I was always the one who has all the things to say. Goodness, it was my big mouth's fault why I was even caught in Kaitou's territory in the first place! But now, I felt like I had nothing to say. There was nothing else to say to him, lest I want my tongue to slip again and completely lose him when I just had him back. I should just feel happy that he was here with me again. But no. I was miserable. "Gomen." I looked up, surprised. "W-What's that?" His eyes were firmly set on the ground, his hand clenched into a tight fist. He seemed to be shaking. "I'm sorry, it was my fault." I was confused. I straightened myself to look at him. "Kurama?" He really was shaking. His fist trembled in a violent frenzy as he suddenly hit the wall beside him, letting his head fall limply as if in defeat. "Everything!" he hissed, his hair hiding his eyes from me. "Everything, ever since the beginning. All of it was my fault. I never should've come back, I should've just let my spirit linger in Makai for eternity! I never should've hoped that I'd have it all back!" I was confused that I felt the tears stinging my eyes. I never wanted so much to hold him, to tell him that it was all right, but I was afraid. I hesitated, only leaning a few inches closer to him, but not touching. I tried calling him again. "Kurama-kun…" In one quick move, he had me in a tight embrace, his face buried in the crook of my neck as he held me to him as if I'd push him away. He was still trembling, as I felt every bit of his tremor underneath my skin. "But I was selfish…" he whispered, his voice muffled by my clothes and by his soft sobs. "I never should've tried…" I was so confused, yet so afraid of what was happening that I finally let the tears fall. "What do you mean? I don't understand---" "Why do you think I escaped from my death anyway? Do you think I'm that conceited? My life has always been useless, I was actually waiting for death to come! I've always wished for something better, and I thought that I can never find it in my lifetime that I just wished that I'd die every single day of my life!" He was angry, but his eyes told me that his anger wasn't directed to me. My eyes softened, pleading that he'd explain what he was trying to say. But he shook his head. "But by the time I met this ferry girl, it all changed. I felt like I can be with her, that the heavens have finally realized that I deserved something more than just being a feared thief in those cursed realms. But I was wrong. I was never meant to be with her, and now everything's turned upside-down and I don't know what to do. And it's all my fault! I was so stupid to even think there could be anything else." Even before I could tell him anything, he pulled away and gazed at me, his eyes burying themselves deeper into my own. "I never cry, Botan, I never remembered an instant that I had. I've never been afraid." Now, I was crying. I didn't know what to do, didn't know how to comfort him. If only you'd tell me what's wrong. "Demo…Kurama, I---" But I was cut off when I felt his lips on mine, surprising me to the point of a breathless shock. I blinked away the tears and just let myself melt into his kiss, whispering prayers to the skies to let this moment last. But I knew it never will. And I knew it was never meant to happen in the fist place. When I thought I could be completely lost, he pulled away. He stood up and closed his eyes, wiping away the last drop of tear that lingered on my cheek. "I can never be anything to you. You shouldn't cry, everything was my fault." That was the last thing he said to me. And then he left. Memories kept rushing back Help!!! Wait! Help me, please! You're bleeding. It's none of your business. Are you sure about this? I was crying again, staring blankly at the closed door from where Kurama had left. I dared not follow, and I hugged myself from the sudden coldness that I felt from his loss. I shook my head. You're wrong Kurama. I was supposed to be the dead one, you were the one who gave my life back. I never should've asked. It was my fault. End of chapter 12
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Part 13
Destiny Standard disclaimers apply; Yu Yu Hakusho and all mentioned characters are not mine. Chapter done in Kurama's point of view. *looks down at previous chapter* I can't believe I was serious when I said that that was chapter 12! Kurama-sama's really OOC there, wasn't he? Anyway, better make this one good, lest I completely kill myself from all the bonks I'm doing here on this here wall…*taps good ol' bloody wall beside her* Mr. Wall here's my best friend and my inspiration and he punishes me for my crap! *bursts out laughing* Comments and suggestions are greatly appreciated, thank you! Got this from a review. Sorry for the Japanese words, I've collected some that I must've written, here they are ^_^ Maybe I should quit using Japanese, but they just sound better when said like these. My opinion anyway ^_^' Baka - Idiot Nani - What Ne - used to call someone's attention, like "hey" or "oi" ; also used as "right?" (for questions like "I'm making sense, ne?") ; also used as an assurance, like "okay?" (similar with my mom saying, "Do be a good girl and take your medication, ne?") Gomen - I'm sorry Demo- But Chan- Added to names of people that are either younger or the same age Kun- Same with –chan Gambatte yo/ne – Good luck Okaasan – Mother Reikai – Spirit World Makai – Alternate / Demon World Ningenkai -Human World Chapter 13 I feel tired. Why? I don't know. Maybe because I just fought Sensui and lost, or maybe it was the thought that even Hiei and Kuwabara lost as well. Whether it was from the lack of power I was currently feeling, or the fact that I was lying on my back and was too weak to attempt to sit up, I'm not sure. Or maybe it was because my lungs felt like they were on fire that I could barely breathe, the pain too much to bear that I almost felt myself suffocate. It was Makai again, my old home, the place I've always ran around in. The place was distinctly familiar, the old terrains, changed slightly by the years that had gone by. The sky was still that never ending dark cloud that sprouted lightning and thunder here and there, striking through ignorant trees, youkai and grounds at random. The winds were just as strong, their howls just as enchanting. Yes, I remember this place. This was where we first met. And if I am correct, my old lair was just right about near my left, down the steep cliff. I wonder if Li was still alive? What had happened to him when I died? Was my old pack still the same, or did they finally decided to split up and go on to their separate ways? After all, I was the leader, and having a leader dead could almost make a pack completely useless. It almost made me laugh out loud, how frustrated I was back then when I first met her, wanting her yet not knowing what to do with her. It's not that I didn't know what I wanted, it was a physical desire that was very much common to a lot of youkai such as myself. The problem was that she was from Reikai. Reikai and Makai are two worlds that don't exactly get along. It had been long before when Reikai stopped caring what Makai does and only focused its attention to Ningenkai. As for Makai, it doesn't and never did care much about Reikai in the first place anyway. But it wasn't long when I myself had confirmed my suspicions about Reikai. I went to Koenma, asking him questions that I had first intended to be indirect, mostly about my files and how much Reikai knew about me. But I could hardly care what my records contained, all I really wanted to know was about Botan, and if there was a possibility for us to be together. I didn't mean to be naïve, but I suppose I hadn't been able to help myself. Curiosity, confusion and perhaps desire to possess her like I used to were too much of burdens to just be ignored. But don't get me wrong, I never tried to take her physically, although much as I try not to think about it, it was the first thing that drew me to her. Li almost choked me to death for letting such opportunities pass when he found out that I let her go, but no, I respect her enough to keep everything to myself. Once and for all, I wanted to know. And yet, as much as I tried to conceal my true purpose, Koenma had his suspicions. What about the relationship of Reikai and Makai? Supposedly, that was a very vast question, knowing Reikai, they must've had rules somehow about it. There could've been rules about past experiences the two world had, rules about youkai being a part of the staff and all those kinds of things. But Koenma's answer was direct, surprising me beyond what I had expected from him. It's forbidden for ferry girls to be with a person from Makai, if that's your question. I was silent after that, wondering how Koenma could've come up with the idea. Not that it wasn't true though. I barely listened to him explain things about ferry girls coming from Ningenkai, and much likely it's the main difference between them and the other Reikai staff. I heard everything, but I understood nothing, weighing consequences upon consequences, on the ‘what ifs' and everything else my mind comes across with. No, all I saw was Koenma's lips moving, only hearing his words yet not taking them in. I understood nothing. Koenma further explained how he came up with his suspicion, saying something about overhearing other girls from his office. It seems as though Botan had suffered severely when she found out that I was dead, doing everything wrong, drowning herself in a private depression that most of the staff seemed to have noticed then. It was funny in it's own way, how her beautiful eyes widened in shock during the Ankonku Bujutsuukai. I never knew what she thought of me, only that her small cheer of "Gambatte yo" and how she had said my name with the friendly "Kurama-kun" changed what I thought of the battle itself. I had won, but plainly because I wanted to think, again Koenma's warnings and explanations muddled up in my head, mixed up with the confusion and the mess that happened when she saw me. The truth had been laid bare to her right then and there, with me in the midst of a battle I could barely win. I remembered myself asking Koenma to keep Botan from finding out. I had asked him if he would prevent Botan from seeing my final battle, thus all in all letting me keep my secret. It would've been possible, even until now, if it didn't happen, she will never know. Whatever possessed Koenma to bring her nonetheless was beyond me, and I suppose I'm blaming him for the mess I knew I was responsible for. I guess I was blaming him now because I didn't want to take responsibility of everything, I didn't want to drown myself in guilt for the confusion I must've brought her. Maybe she even forgot me already, or at least trying to move on. Did she think me cruel? For showing up like this again? Yes, I could almost laugh. I tilted my head to once side, my golden eyes passing through my disheveled mane of silver, past my pale hands and to the tall frame of Sensui as he looked down upon all of us. Hiei and Kuwabara were listening to him say thing I could barely hear despite my youko ears. Or was it because I didn't want to listen? I closed my eyes, finally letting out the sarcastic laugh I was trying to suppress from the start. I laughed at my fate, my irony, I laughed for being the fool and the pawn in my own schemes. I laughed at the memory of me breaking down in front of her, of how pathetic I must've look. I laughed and laughed, laughed at myself, laughed despite the tears that had started to sting inside my closed eyes. I thought of Sensui, and laughed again as his words swam about my head. "Bastard." Sensui finally stopped talking after he heard me, with Hiei and Kuwabara staring at me with confused eyes. I didn't know what I was saying, but I think I heard my own voice rising up to take all of their attention. "Why don't you just finish this instead of yapping things I could barely understand? You killed Yusuke, aren't you going to kill us too?" Sensui himself laughed, and again I barely heard him say something about finishing us all, but giving me the pleasure of being the first so I wouldn't see my friends die in front of me. Something about bravery I think. I could care less. See Botan? I can make your life straight and happy again, you can forget about the mysterious youkai whom you thought you loved. You're a good ferry girl, Koenma is proud of you. Forget me, doing so, maybe I can make you smile again. I suddenly thought of Okaasan, and it made me feel worse. I had loved her more than I had ever loved myself, I could hardly care if I die now, knowing that I will be taking away the danger I had set upon her ever since I lived as her son. But what would she say when she found out that Shuuichi-kun was lost, I wonder? Will she cry? Will she think I left her? Okaasan, I've made such a mess out of your life. I've killed Shuuichi long ago, even before you saw his face. I've made you sad, and through the years I've tried to take care of you. Be happy with Hatanaka, I know you two will be together. He loves you and you love him, I've known that ever since you first told me about him. He has a son named Shuuichi too, ne? I heard he's really smart, maybe he can be your Shuuichi now. Forgive me, okaasan, I guess I won't be your son anymore. I guess this would be the price I have to pay for stealing the real Shuu-chan from you, isn't it? My life is such a mess okaasan, you've almost died because of me more than once. You're better off without me. My eyes left Sensui's form as he walked slowly towards me. I closed my eyes and sighed. Kurama! I could feel Hiei's eyes on me, hearing his voice over and over in my head asking, What's with you, kitsune? Have you gone mad?! I laughed again. Hiei, you've read my thoughts? Sensui will kill me, it's a narrow choice but try to strike him again. If you succeed, do something about okaasan, ne? Hiei glared at me and continued to ask several other questions, of concern concealed in insults, but I just shook my head, not replying to him the same way he tried talking to me. I didn't respond through my head anymore, just closing my eyes to cover up any other thought that he tried to come my way. I moved my head to one side so I can look at him, smiling up at him with that same bitter way I had laughed. He had been my best friend, and as I awaited Sensui to finish what he had started and kill me, I tried reaching up to him. My trembling hand barely reached his face, my eyes barely open to look at him for long. He was staring at me with widened eyes, shock, anger and confusion all in there. Is this the way I'll remember you, Hiei? "Gomen Hiei, I guess this is goodbye." End of chapter 13
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Part 14
Destiny Standard disclaimers apply; Yu Yu Hakusho and all mentioned characters are not mine. Chapter done in Botan's point of view. This is the fourth revised version of chapter 14 *sweatdrops*, I'm sick of the drama and I can't seem to figure out how to cut it out. So, that said, I think it would be my excuse for the long delay ^_^' Comments, suggestions and all sort of violent reaction are very much welcome! - blackcape@edsamail.com.ph Chapter 14 What was taking them so long? I've been biting my lip and nails for the past hour, waiting in anticipation for all of them to come out. I've taken Shizuru and Keiko with me, but worried that Yusuke and Kuwabara might get angry with me. But I can't blame the girls, I know that they're worried about them as much as I am, and I knew that I can't keep them away. Keiko had been trying to suppress her tears until now, asking me and everybody else about what happened. She kept on asking if Yusuke was all right, when will they be coming back, what if something happened. It was painfully obvious how much Keiko cared for Yusuke, and it just made me all the more dreadful and anxious watching her. I had to thank Shizuru for being the one to calm Keiko. I wanted to do it myself, but all I could do was to give Keiko-chan a hug, I didn't what words to tell her. Maybe because I was just as scared myself. I couldn't help thinking about them, Koenma-sama, Yusuke. But now and then I find myself thinking about a certain red-haired young man who I figured just walked out on me the last time we saw each other. I'm not denying that I didn't cry. I barely understood what he meant, why he apologized, what was it that he did. And I've long before accepted my feelings for the mysterious man, though remembering how it had been between us, it could hardly make any sense. I've known him for so long, and yet I feel like I have not. I barely knew who he is. He had hidden so much about himself from me, and whenever we do get to talk with each other, it all ends the same way. We break apart. I frowned. Was that how we're supposed to be? "Botan?" I turned my head towards that voice, recognizing it a few seconds after as Shizuru's. I blinked up at her and raised my eyebrows in question. "Hai, Shizuru-chan?" Shizuru frowned at me. "Botan, I've been calling you four times already. Is something wrong?" she asked. Keiko jumped in. "Botan-chan, did something happen?" she cried in a frantic voice, taking a hold of my hands and looked at me with brown eyes that warned me of upcoming tears. It made me admire her really, her never-ending concern for Yusuke even if they do have the tendency to fight three-fourths of the time. Though much as Yusuke and Keiko pretend that they hate each other at times, it just makes their bond all the more closer and tighter. I envied them then, but don't get me wrong, I was also very much happy for them as well. I suppose it was the dread that I can never have the same happiness that they find in each other. I dreaded that it just might be my destiny to be alone and work for Reikai the remaining time of my oh so long life. I used to love my work. But how come that during these past few years, it just seemed...empty? I shook my head and forced in a smile. "Daijoubu, Keiko-chan. I'm..." I was cut off, the painful feeling of Yusuke's departure still fresh from my mind. But I shook my head. I should cheer Keiko up, she's my friend, and I don't want her to worry so much. "I'm sure Yusuke is all right." I glanced uneasily towards Genkai, who just remained silent in her statue-like state beside us. What I said seemed like a reassurance for all of us, not only for Keiko, but for myself as well. I supposed that I've made it a silent mantra, they're all right, they're all right, they're all right... I could only wish it were true. "Wait, minna, look!" It was Yanagi, one of Genkai's students, who pointed at the cave's entrance, the quiet sounds of footsteps echoing through the place. We all held our breaths in and anticipated the figures that would be coming out after those footsteps. Will it be them, or Sensui and his minions who would announce the end of this mission once and for all? I clenched my hand into a tight fist, willing my mind to stop being such a pessimist and just pray that it was them. Suddenly, Keiko moved out beside me and Shizuru and started running towards the cave. "Yusuke!" she cried, flinging herself to a certain, long-haired man who walked between Kuwabara and Hiei, markings of dark blue all over his body. Keiko didn't seem to notice, as she held the figure tightly, tears of undeniable joy in her eyes. We all gawked at them both, until finally realizing that it was Yusuke. He had changed, and I thought I heard Genkai say something about "youkai blood" under her breath. We all ran towards those two, until I stopped in mid-step and looked around for those who were missing. I looked around, narrowing my eyes on the cave entrance. None. I was about to go inside when I heard a familiar voice cry out, "Baka yarou, Kuwabara! I thought you were supposed to carry him out, you bastard!" Then I heard Kuwabara retort, "Feh, are you kidding me, you little brat?! I've carried Kurama out most of the way, it's about time you guys help me out. You don't expect me to carry him out all the way, do you?!" Another voice, one that was way more gentle than those that preceded it, yet a bit shaken, sounded. "Sumimasen, Koenma-sama. Really, I'll be fine." My eyes widened. Kurama? I ran towards the sounds of what seemed to be their hidden footsteps. "Ku--" I stopped. "K-Koenma-sama?" I called out, not finding it in myself to say his name just yet. I felt my eyebrows knit as their footsteps sounded closer and closer, my eyes anticipating their upcoming figures. I stopped and backed away for a bit when I saw them come up to the light. Koenma-sama had told me that he might take off his pacifier, and indeed, he appeared without it. What could've happened was beyond me. The next person I saw was none other than Kurama, whom I've been lamenting over the past hours in my head. He had an arm around Koenma-sama, his soiled frame leaning over him. His eyes reflected weakness, and it was obvious from his posture that he was gravely tired. Blood was coming from his temples and limbs, flowing down his neck and torso. A thin, small droplet rolled down his pale lips, his hand coming up from time to time to wipe them away. I stood transfixed, my eyes wide at the mere sight. The only sound that woke me up from that stupor was Koenma-sama's authoritative voice calling me. "Botan, come here and help," he said, while holding Kurama's free arm in one of his, a gesture that seemed to tell me that it was to be my place on the other side. It took him another call to make me move, and I ran hastily to them, holding Kurama's wrist and moving him to put his arm around me. I felt him stiffen, but he obliged, his weary eyes coming abruptly to look at me for a split second, only to look away soon after. No words were exchanged. "What happened?" It was Keiko who asked. She came quickly in front of us, looking up at Kurama as she brought out a handkerchief to wipe some of the blood that Kurama had on his face. She looked up at Yusuke, then to Koenma-sama. "What happened?" she repeated, now a bit more loud. It was Kuwabara who answered. "He taunted Sensui," he said, giving Kurama a look of disbelief. "I still don't understand what he had in mind, though. I thought he's gone mad!" Hiei snorted. "At least he had a use. You were the one who was the most useless, all you did was shriek." "Nani?!" exclaimed Kuwabara, grabbing Hiei by the collar. He glared at the smaller youkai with a fiery glint in his eye. "Like you've done anything yourself! Your kokuryuuha was chicken compared to Sensui's power!" "Watch your mouth, moron, or I'll cut your tongue myself." "You little shrimp! I dare you to do that, you---" "All right, shut up! Shut up!!!" It was Yusuke who went in between the two, whacking them both upside the head. He gestured them to Kurama. "Our dear, psychotic buddy who just recently lost his brain and reason is needing immediate recovery, which means silence and peace," he said, putting a fist on his hip as he glared at the two. "AND I'll be needing him to cut my hair short again because I personally am itching to get away from it." He then turned to Koenma-sama and me. "Can you two please help him?" Before either of us could answer, Kuwabara went in again. "I still don't get it, Kurama. What was that out there, suicide?" I looked at Kurama from the corner of my eyes. I didn't know what happened, but among all of them, he seemed to be the one who was in the worst condition. My brows knitted again from all the frowning, but I couldn't help it. Kurama acknowledged Kuwabara with a laugh. I don't know if it was just me, but I thought I heard it in a bitter way, a sardonic laughter that rang weakly against the cave walls. The others didn't seem to notice though. Kurama had his eyes hidden behind the thickness of his hair, the smooth strands now stiff from the dried blood that ran down on his forehead. Keiko must've noticed the way I was looking at Kurama, and handed me her handkerchief, pointing out what I should do with a tilt of her head. I hesitated, but took it anyway and wiped the blood that was about to reach Kurama's eyes. He needed it badly, and I ran the piece of cloth down the other side, making sure that I've had them all. Kurama shook his head, moving away from the handkerchief and looked at Kuwabara again. "You could say that," was his reply. He had a smile on his lips that didn't exactly reach his eyes. He cast me a sideway glance, rooting me in my place, stilling my hand from what it was doing until I couldn't stand his look, and I looked away. I heard a faint sound from him before I felt his hand come up to mine, forcing me to look at him again. But he didn't look back, and just took the handkerchief from me and gave it back to Keiko. Kuwabara was still blinking, not knowing what to make out of Kurama's reply. I thought I heard Hiei mutter something about a "crazy kitsune" before he turned his back and started walking away. "Oi, Hiei! Where're you goin'?" Yusuke asked, running up to the other youkai. Hiei looked at him behind his shoulder and replied, "I'm going to rest." I watched as Yusuke patted Hiei on the head for goodbye, earning himself a few curses from the other guy. The others laughed, but all I could do was give out a small smile, my eyes still cast down. I couldn't grasp what Kurama had meant either, but I felt like he was telling me something by the way he had looked a while ago. I looked at him from the corner of my eyes, hundreds of question circling in my mind yet I found myself in silence. He didn't look back, and he kept his eyes on the ground. I knew he knew that was looking, but he didn't move. Was he avoiding me? Was he still angry? It was Koenma-sama who broke the uneasy silence between me and Kurama. "All right, you all better go home now, it's late. Kurama," he turned to look down at Kurama, who still had his head cast down. "Let Botan help you with your wounds for now, you're too weak to do so yourself." Kurama stiffened again, but said nothing. It took him a minute to nod his head, as he let Koenma-sama remove the arm that was currently around my master's shoulder. Koenma-sama guided Kurama to lean on me, which he hesitantly did. I help him shift to a more comfortable position for him, but he refused to move closer and looked like he didn't want me to support him fully. He still tried to stand on both feet. Koenma-sama spoke again, noticing Kurama's hesitation. "Kurama, don't be stubborn, you need her help," he said. He then turned to me. "Take care of him, I'll be expecting you tomorrow, all right?" I think I replied with a quiet, "hai" before Koenma-sama nodded his head. He walked towards the others, probably telling them to go home. Yusuke and the others nodded, and waved at us before leaving. I knew they were all worried about Kurama. Keiko cast us one last look of concern, but one nod from me assured her we'll be fine. It was Koenma-sama who I was looking at then. Why was he doing this? I guess he was right, that I may be the best one to heal Kurama's wounds, but I've always known him to be against me and Kurama together. He barely let us talk. Koenma-sama may not have his pacifier, but I know that he had enough power in him to do the job himself. Was he truly weakened by Sensui? Or did he have another purpose for this? As if reading my thoughts, he turned around and raised a hand to give me a wave. "I trust you, Botan. Good night." This he said as he turned, making his way probably back to Reikai. He didn't even wait for me to reply. I felt a cold wind pass us by, causing a sudden chill to run up my arms and back. I saw Kurama wince, though he quickly tried to hide it by looking away. He still looked like he's refusing my help, but kept his silence. It pained me to accept it, even if I knew that it was not the right time to think of such. Barely suppressing a disappointed sigh, I removed my hand that supported his chest to produce my oar. I gestured for him to move back and to let me guide him to sit down. "We'll be taking my oar. It's faster this way," I said, helping him on the front. He obediently obliged, and I sat myself beside him and guided him again to lean back on me. He hesitated at first, but eventually leaned down to rest his head on the crook of my neck and shoulder, his eyes closing, probably from exhaustion. He tired sigh escaped him, tickling my neck, and I felt myself stiffen. He stilled himself as well, forcing out a raspy "gomen" and shifted a little bit to lessen any more physical contact. I was sure that the uneasy touches that we've been having for the past few minutes were bothering him as much as they did me. I frowned again, and shook my head. "It's all right. You're too weak to balance yourself, you might fall off," I said, ushering him to me. I was nervous, touching, talking to him like this as if we were but acquaintances, to try and forget that anything ever happened before because I knew that he needed me right now. But I knew that I shouldn't let any personal feelings bother me. A few seconds passed before he finally sat up again to move closer beside me. He placed one arm behind me and fully leaned in, his head resting on where they were before. I felt him close his eyes again, snuggling closer to shift himself on a more comfortable position. I willed my oar to float, carefully maneuvering it to a steady flight so Kurama wouldn't have a hard time. We flew above the skies for what seemed like long, uncomfortable minutes before a sudden rush of violent winds created an unsteady turbulence to ensue. I grabbed Kurama's wrist to keep him from falling off, unconsciously hugging him to me as I tried to steady us once again. It took me a few minutes to realize our position, with me holding him too closely, my eyes shut and my head rested against his own. But strangely enough, I was comfortable as I was uneasy, that I didn't move from the sudden confusion. I tried to look down to see if he minded, but once again, he was silent. Unmoving. His hand was limp from the wrist I was holding, but I could feel its coldness from where his fingers touched me. My cheek rested on his forehead, and I noticed that he had stopped bleeding. He seem to have noticed it as well eventually, and he reached up to touch his temples, only to find that none of the crimson blood were sticking to his fingers. "Nothing," he muttered, a look of disbelief on his face. I nodded. "But does it still hurt?" I asked, taking a hesitant hand to touch the spot he just recently did. He shook his head once, and I thought I felt him smile. "Not as much as it should," he replied in a quiet whisper. His eyes sank down to a close once again, and his body shifted once to move an inch closer. I looked down at him, not knowing what to make out of what he had just said. I was about to ask what he meant, when I realized that his breathing had slowed down to an even pace, his shoulders moving in time with his breathing. His eyes were closed, a calm expression on his face. His dark, scarlet hair framed his beautiful face, his lips settled in what seemed like a very small smile. He had fallen asleep. I couldn't help but smile at the sight of him, and I found myself holding him closer. I sighed, rubbing my cheek to his perfectly smooth hair. His hand rested lightly between mine and his legs, the other still around my waist. I felt a faint blush come up to my cheeks as I let myself move in to the temptation. My free hand crept up to his free one in a light touch, and I leaned in to let my lips touch one of his closed eyes. "Take care of yourself, Kurama." He surprised me when he nodded, though I was sure he was still asleep. I looked down at our hands, and watched quietly when his crept up to embrace mine in a warm hold, and made all signs of my uneasiness disappear. End of chapter 14
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Part 15
Destiny Standard disclaimers apply; Yu Yu Hakusho and all mentioned characters are not mine and all those usual yappings. Chapter done in Kurama's point of view. The story isn't flowing the way I want it to over the last chapters for some reason...*sighs*. Ne! Sorry if I haven't been reflecting much on Botan's side, heehee, finally, someone caught my booboo ^_^' The problem is, I can't do it properly on Botan's side, weird as it may sound since I should know, being a girl myself. Huhu...*puts on boke hat* Ayah! Che-chan will do her best next time, is that okay? ^.^ Comments, suggestions and all those usual stuff are very much appreciated ^_^ - blackcape@edsamail.com.ph Chapter 15 My sight was still blurry when I opened my eyes. Pitch-black darkness was the first thing I saw, until my vision gradually adjusted to the lack of light. I saw a table across from where I was in. A pale, seemingly translucent curtain rubbed against my cheek, the texture of thin linen caressing the almost numb skin of my face. I felt a thick blanket against my bare chest and up to my chin, with a soft pillow supporting my aching head. I tried to lift my hand to at least ease the surging pain in my temples, but an unexpected jolt of weakness ran up my arm. My body felt like it weighed a ton when I tried to sit up, and the pain in my head made me regret trying to get off the comforts of my pillow. I winced, and willed myself to at least look around. The corner from which the bed laid, the window whose curtains still caressed my cheeks, the study table that carried a familiar school bag with a small shelf flooded with various books just beside it; yes, this were all familiar to me. Even through the darkness, I knew where I was. I was in my room. I blinked, but regretted the action yet again when my head started to throb, together with the muscles that surrounded my eyes as they all seem to ache almost unbearably. I felt a sudden dryness in my throat, and my body immediately ached for water to quench my thirst. Thus, despite my unbearable weakness, I lifted both legs and tried to make it to the side of my bed. But as I moved my hand to support myself to one side, I came across something that kept me from moving any further. The moonlight provided me enough light to recgnize what it was that I touched. My eyes widened. Blue silken hair lay sprawled against the whiteness of the blanket, carelessly disheveled yet heavenly and hypnotizing in their state. Sleeves of baby pink gleamed against the light, bearing pale, seemingly delicate hands as they lay almost lifelessly on the softness of the bed. The thin arms that held these gentle fingers were bent, supporting the head that bore the face of an angel as it stayed tilted to one side, drowned in deep sleep. The sheer beauty in her vulnerable state made me want to touch her, that even before I could stop myself, I already felt the softness of her cerulean locks embedded around my rough, calloused touch. All the thirst I previously felt for anything else were forgotten as I succumbed to the long-kept need to touch her, and though it may not seem to be the wisest of decisions, I lowered my lips to at least get a faint taste of her soft, painfully familiar skin. All things that had kept me anchored to reality all seem to fade away as I laid there, my hand resting against her head, my thumb stroking her hair, my cheek rested on her arm yet careful not to bear too much weight. I closed my eyes, faintly similar to hers as she floated in a deep slumber, not even aware of this stolen moment I was having with her as she rested, oblivious from all the world. I did not dare sigh despite the pleasure that I felt, lest I risk rousing her from her sleep, thus cutting this much-awaited moment from which I've found an unfamiliar comfort. Though blissful and contented as I thought I was, the pain caught in the very same source seem to rival the lightness in my chest. I shut my eyes as I tried to ignore the tightness inside me, shut myself from any pain that would force me to move away from her warmth. I'm tired of turning my back from what my mind was screaming for, and I even remembered the times I catch myself at times, asking why I even obey that tiny voice in my head. How was I so sure that what it says is the right thing? I willed myself to stop thinking. I willed myself to stop thinking of the downfalls behind the possibilities, to stop thinking of whatever it was that I was warned about; Koenma's words, warnings that I refuse to understand yet I heed. All these kept me from having those I've come to long for, and kept me from the past from which I was seeking to continue. What was so wrong in wanting to be with her anyway? So what if we were worlds apart, we met, didn't that count? How were they damn sure it'll lead to someone else's ruin, how dare they generalize all these various races from which they base their rules upon? I've asked myself these questions a thousand times, and yet I find myself distancing farther and farther despite my obvious repulsion against all of it. Why? I'm not sure. Maybe it was because I was afraid that if I dare tried to get my way, like I usually do in the past, I'd lose her once and for all. Similar events have happened. I've let my selfishness and arrogance get the best of me, and I've lost a lot of those things I've come to treasure instead of gaining anything at all. I thought I've grown out of that habit, of being the selfish one. I had been a good leader to my own horde, and I've learned how to be patient and resistant to any sort of anxiety and all the other sort of emotion that kept me from being the best that I had once been. I don't know how it happened, how I've lost my sanity and reason just because of one, single person. I should've died, but what was I doing here? Was I wrong to even try? But all thoughts, all questions, left me when I felt a faint steering from beneath me. The slow movement of her head made me pull away, and I watched her tiredly rub her eyes, her hands clenched in tight fists as she pushed all her drowsiness away. I moved away, leaning on one arm as I watched her with intent eyes, watching her tender movements as she stretched her limbs, watched as she slump down to take a deep breath. Seconds of what seemed like eternity, they passed me by as I watched her. I didn't move in fear of her noticing me, which doesn't look like she have just yet. I was afraid to end the moment that I just had with her, afraid that she would notice the hand that I refused to pull away and still held her tiny wrist. I caught myself gazing down at her, drowned in the sheer beauty of her tiniest movement, lost in the brightness of her eyes of purple as they stared out in a blank expression. It wasn't until a few more moments did she finally blink herself awake, and looked down at the hand that clutched her own. I waited for her to look up, to regard me with eyes filled with shock, or probably revulsion. After all, it's been long ago since we've been this close, and it had been my fault that it ended in such a regrettable moment in my part. All those words I've said, I didn't mean to say them out loud. I meant to just keep them to me, so she wouldn't suffer so in behalf of my own self-pity. It would make me laugh how pathetic I found myself to be. Kurama, the famous thief that once been known as cold and indifferent of anything else, had finally learned how to shed tears. And in front of somebody else no doubt. But it wasn't just somebody. This I know as I look down at her, her gaze still concentrated on something I may not be able to see. She was looking down at her own hand, still and seemingly unreachable despite the closeness of my own with hers. Yet her eyes were unfocused, still and unmoving beneath my gaze. Or was she just refusing to look up and see me? After what seemed like hours yet I knew they were but seconds, I tired myself of waiting for her to move, and freed her from her restraint. She did not do anything, not even following the movement of my hand away from hers. And I pulled it to me, bringing up my other hand to hold the other as it trembled from the cold, and from the emptiness. Silence reigned again for what seemed like long minutes until she finally spoke. "How are you feeling?" she asked, blinking up to move her gaze to me. What looked like a bitter smile graced her angelic features, her eyes still unreadable despite the cheer she was using to mask out whatever it was that she felt. I felt my chest tighten yet again, taking my all just to prevent myself from clawing at it in attempts to make the pain go. I looked away, not finding it in myself to look at that smile, that little smile that seem to mock me with its beauty. Did she mean it? Was she really worried? It was paranoia that I felt, whether or not I should put up my cold shield so she wouldn't be able to enter with her alluring innocence, thus giving her all the permission to hurt me yet again, or just let myself succumb to her tender ministrations, mindless of anything else. I decided to look away, my decision in between the two options, not knowing which to pick. I opened my mouth to speak, forming the words, "I'm fine" on my tongue as I rasped them out. I was not sure if that was a lie or not. I didn't know the answer myself. She was silent yet again. She then stood up after a moment of looking at me and asked, "Are you hungry? Would you like me to get you anything?" I looked up at her. My earlier thirst came back to me again, worse than it had been and made me want to cry out for comfort. But I decided I didn't want to bother her. "I'll do it," I said, moving from under the blanket to stand up, but her hands stopped me. Eitherway, I wouldn't be able to stand from the weakness but was too late to realize it, that I just had to thank her for stopping me. "No. Koenma-sama told me to take care of you, so that's what I'm going to do." This she said, not waiting for me to respond and she was off. So that was it. That was why she was here. Koenma told her to, and everything Koenma wants, Koenma gets. I sighed, trying to shake off the sudden surge of jealousy that seemed to course through me, ignoring it as it settled on my stomach in a sickening jolt. As if I hadn't had enough of my pathetic moments. I had no right to be jealous, it wasn't like I own her. And Koenma was her master, he had more right to her than I would ever have, no matter what I do. I just hope I can get to knock some sense into myself before I say anything else. I sighed yet again, finally yielding to my body's pains and leaned back on the pillows, closing my eyes. Such a simple gesture took a lot of my strength as I gasped and panted out every measured breath. I can't remember what went through my mind on those moments from where I had my eyes closed, my vision void of anything else but the ebony darkness that surrounded me. I yielded to my tiredness, yielded to my body's plea of but a short rest. I don't think I thought of what happened, thought of what I had been thinking on that moment I lay there on the hard grounds of Makai, taunting Sensui to no end until Yusuke finally came in. No, I didn't think about it, and I pushed it at the back of my head to clear my mind off any other things that would make my chest ache more than it already does. It must've been a few minutes when she did come back, holding out a silver tray. The sweet aroma of congee tickled my nostrils and made me open my weary eyes. I watched quietly as she settled the tray down to look at me. "Would you like to turn the lights on?" she asked, gesturing to the switch just beside the door. I shook my head no, not seeking the supposed comforts of the lights. I felt it in myself that I liked the darkness, most especially when she nodded her head and went near the window, spreading the curtains out to let the light of the moon in. The moonlight casted an ethereal look upon the room, and I closed my eyes, etching its beauty inside my mind. She moved with an undeniable grace towards the table from which the food lay, taking the tray again as she settled the tray down beside me. She then moved to pull the small table beside the bed, and this she used to place the tray on as she sat beside me. She looked at me. "Your mother doesn't seem to be around, so I made this myself," she said, a shy smile on her lips. "So be gentle if you're planning to judge the taste, okay?" I think I smiled a little bit and nodded. She nodded as well and reached out for the bowl, holding it by the platter that supported its weight. She then held a spoon in the other hand, dipping it in, took it out, slid out the spill underneath and was about to lean in to feed me when I stopped her. She frowned. "What?" I looked down, a little bit embarrassed with myself for a moment. "I can feed myself, you don't have to bother with me," I said. Botan sighed and settled the bowl down on the table. She then turned to me. "You've not fully recovered your strength yet, just let me do it," she said, her voice rising in a domineering manner as she eyed me intently. I looked back. "I'm sure I can do it, I can't be that weak." I wasn't sure if this is true, since just a while ago I found it difficult just leaning back. But I was certain that I didn't want to bother her, and I am not the kind who'd want to be seen as a sick puppy at all. But she still held a firm gaze on me. She pulled out my hand from underneath the covers and rested it on hers. I blinked down at my hand on hers, trying to cover up the steady blush that seem to have crept to my cheeks at the simple touch. But she didn't seem to see this though, thank goodness, as she looked at me strenly. "Try and clench you fist, please," she said, pointing at my hand on hers. I didn't do it just yet. My visible hand lay still on hers as I checked my strength on the other one underneath the covers, scowling as it refused to clench tightly, realizing that I can't even use my full strength to at least close a fist. I was thankful that she didn't see it. I frowned, pulling my hand away from her almost a bit too roughly, finding it useless to even try to show her since I had nothing to prove. She was right, but I didn't say anything and just looked away. She laughed then, then settled on a knowing smile. "See? I'm right, aren't I?" I didn't look at her. "I'm just going to feed myself, I don't need that much strength for that," I said stubbornly, still refusing to let her feed me. I still find the idea embarrassing and horrific to my pride. She frowned in response. "But if you spill anything, I'm not going to clean up after you." "I'm not going to spill anything." "But you might." "Fine. I'll clean it up myself then." "You could barely stand." "I'll do it." "You know, your food's getting cold. If you would just let me do what I'm supposed to, you could've been eating it instead of us arguing about it." "I can do it." "You need to regain your strength." "I will sleep afterwards then." "Let me do it, please! Besides, I don't want to sit around and watch you eat, I can't stand doing nothing." "No." "Stop acting like a stubborn child, Kurama!" "I will be looking like a child if I let you feed me, Botan." She stopped. She didn't miss the sarcasm on that last statement, and it almost made me regret arguing with her in the first place. I was near panic that she'll get angry, and I decided that I should apologize. But when I was about to open my mouth to speak, I took one look at her and I stopped. She was grinning, and trying to stiffle an upcoming laughter. And by the time I could regain myself from my shock and confusion, she did laugh. I frowned yet again, not liking the state of confusion she just left me in. "What?" I asked irritated, yet somewhat amused and relieved that I've thought wrong. She shook her head, a lingering smile on her face as she looked at me again. "Rock paper scissors then!" she said, holding out a fist in front of her. "Whoever wins get the spoon, is that okay?" she asked. I blinked, still confused. "What?!" Botan rolled her eyes. "Come on, afraid you'll lose? It's just a simple game, Kurama." I thought I felt a sweatdrop run down the side of my head, but she insisted. I sighed in defeat and held out my own hand. She then said the words and after three counts, we drew out our picks. I drew rock. She drew paper. "I win!" she grinned, snatching up the spoon and bowl from the tray and held it up and stuck her tongue out at me in a childish manner. But before I could retort back, she already had the spoon up to my lips, a smile on her child-like face as the sweet fragrance filled my nostrils. But much as I was gravely intoxicated with it, I held my mouth shut. She frowned. "Ne, don't be stubborn, I won fair and square!" I looked at her, instantly losing myself on the pleading looks she had on her pretty face as she toyed with me a little more. This went on a few seconds more, but by the time she pouted and gave me a disappointed expression, I knew I lost to her yet again. I sighed, feeling defeated, yet content as I met her smile again. I finally smiled back and opened up. We were silent again as she fed me, but I was comfortable for once, and just received her servings obediently without another word. This went on for a few minutes more. "Kurama?" I looked up to her, my eyebrows shot up in question. "Hai?" She looked down, gave me the last spoonful and set the bowl down, handing me the glass of water next. She waited for me to finish before she continued. "Ne, let's start over." My brows met up in confusion. I didn't know what she meant, and decided to wait for further words that might explain herself to me. But she only smiled at me, not answering my silent question. She held a hand out as if asking for a handshake. "Hi, I'm Botan. Can we be friends?" she asked, a sincere smile void of jokes and everything else on her gentle face. At first I only stared down at her hand, trying to fathom the situation inside my mind. Her words repeated themselves to me, playing around in my head as I looked at her. Can we be friends? Friends. I looked at her hand again, taking in its delicate form as I thought of her words. After all that has happened, was she really willing to forgive me? I was too worried about it that even if what she said was a matter of just being friends, it almost didn't matter. All I knew is that I wanted to be with her, in whatever way possible. I frowned, not knowing what else to say. I looked at her, my eyes weary and troubled. "Botan, I--" She still retained her smile. "Let's say that you remind me of someone I hold very dear to me, and I want to get to know you better. Is that okay?" At first I was silent, staring blankly at her hand that she still held up for me. Just a while ago, I could barely touch her, not even sure if I was allowed to, and now I can't understand how I feel just seeing her again, smiling, holding up a hand for me to touch and hold freely. Going back through the loneliness I had to endure over the days I've refused to see her, to give myself the satisfaction of at least gazing at her beautiful eyes, I almost painfully realized how much I've missed her. And how much these words of hers meant to me. How much she meant to me. All thoughts cast aside, the realization of what she had been to me evident in front of me, I knew my answer. I looked up at her, smiled and nodded. "Likewise," I found myself saying as I brought up my own hand to embrace hers in a firm hold. "My name is Kurama. Nice to meet you." End of chapter 15
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unfinished