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Destiny Part 1-5 by Cherrie
prologue
part 1	part 2	part 3	part 4	part 5
Prologue
Destiny Standard disclaimers apply. Yu Yu Hakusho and all it's characters are not mine, I'm merely borrowing ^_^ Comments, suggestions and violent reactions are very much welcome blackcape@edsamail.com.ph. Thank you for taking time to read this fic ^-^ Prologue He kissed her with all the gentleness he could have mustered, yet failing to hide the desire to hold her tightly in the strength of his arms. She was responding to him eagerly though, as she shifted closer to mold herself into his body, her arms running up behind his neck. She moved her head to the side for better access in his trembling lips, her breathing deep between every longing seize of his lower lip. He knew they wouldn't hold out much longer. With every kiss and every heated touch she trailed on his skin had left him wanting for more. With every move, she risked pulling both of them in the edge of his control. He forced himself to pull away, dropping his arms at her sides to take a deep breath, willing them not to find their way around her waist again. He hated the way she made him conscious of every little thing. If she were the same as the other women he was with before, if only his feelings for her were similar, he would've taken her long before. And yet, he would always find himself battling whether or not he would permit it, or still go on protecting her from the disgrace she might face if ever he stopped caring. He never cared for anything. But her. "I have to go," he said, his voice coming out coldly in that trademark tone of his. His heavenly white clothes rustled as they were rubbed against the roughness of the stone they were sitting on, falling neatly behind him as he stood up. He found himself needing to turn away to avoid the hurt look in her eyes. "You're leaving again?" she asked, her voice trembling as she looked up at him. The rage of the fierce winds had taken their toll from her, her sky-blue hair glistening in their smoothness as they rode the wind. The long sleeves of her pink kimono followed thus, making her twice as beautiful as she was. He couldn't take his eyes off her. He held one more second to look at her before he struggled to turn away. He grabbed the sack that lay on the grass beside him, swinging it behind his shoulder as he walked away. "My men are waiting for me. You better go," he told her, never even thinking of looking back. He found it easier to walk away if he didn't have to look at her. And yet behind his closed eyes, he could see the tears that might have fallen from her with those words. He refused to look at her, afraid that he might be tempted to keep his men waiting just to be with her. Hell, had he changed. She watched him walk away behind her hot tears, her hands clenched on her sides. She sat down on the hard rock they've been in just a few moments ago. One hand trembled its way to her lips, her eyes drifting closed at the memory of his kisses. She remembered the wa his hands tremble whenever they touch, remember how tightly he held himself before he would touch her any further. They've been meeting like this as long as their time permits it, and yet he never let go of the ice that he had placed around himself. In only his touch could she truly feel him, and yet he would sometimes hide that to her as well. And it always ended the same, like he would remember something just to get away from her. Sometimes she even wondered why she kept coming back. She had only known him for a few days, she didn't even know his name. She wiped her tears away and stood up, producing her oar in her right hand. Why does he keep distancing away from her? === "Watch out!" Li's hardened whisper came crashing through his consciousness as he felt himself being grabbed by the wrist, pulling him away behind a wall. Li was one of his comrades in the horde that he leads. The man was a few inches shorter than he was, belonging to the same race of kitsune from which he came from. They almost looked the same, with only the eyes and hair failing the similarity. Li had pitch-black hair and gray eyes, while his were silvery blue hair with eyes of gold. The sound of footsteps came sickly nearer and nearer. The two waited, hearing the door creak open as a fierce looking man popped his head in. "Anyone here?" the harsh voice rang the whole room, the deep tone almost burying the air. His eyes trailed the room critically, every second ticking like it was a deadly countdown. The two youkai held their breath, eyes narrowed as they watched the man take a hold of the door knob. He looked around some more, heaved out a sickening grunt and walked away. Silence covered them both as a sigh of relief came from Li's mouth, glaring at his companion. "Are you trying to get us both killed!?" he asked furiously, pointing an accusing finger at him. He merely shrugged his reply as he walked out of the room. "Tell the others to hurry it up, I want to get out of here," he said sternly, his voice calm and cold as it came out. He looked around and walked to where they had entered. Li followed. There was an explanation for his absent-mindedness that day. He couldn't stop thinking about her, the young deity whom he had met a few days ago. Ever since they have met, he couldn't take the thought of her away, couldn't take the smiles she had given him, couldn't take away the pained expression her youthful face held whenever he'd say he would leave. He never wanted to leave, never. But he was afraid that he might hurt her. He didn't trust himself to take care of her, didn't trust his body not to take advantage of her. A thief that had been going against the rules of her world isn't exactly a perfect pair for such a naïve girl as she was. He didn't want to stain her. He didn't deserve her. "Oi, do you even know where you're going? Are you thinking of getting us both lost!?" Li's voice sounded again, finding the man's hand knocking on his forehead several times to wake him up. He blinked a few times to wake himself from his stupor, only to glare at Li through his golden eyes. "We're not going to get lost," he stated firmly, resulting in his desired effect as Li backed away from him in a hidden terror, following behind him like an obedient puppy. Really, he liked the way he could make anybody follow him like that. Amidst his steps, all that he could think about was her again, whether or not he should come back to meet her. But given the choice, all he ever wanted was to be with her, to hold her purity in his sinful arms. But she was not like the previous female youkai he had been with before. The others were just as sinful as he was, finding it in himself to leave all of them as soon as he had taken what he wanted. Usually it was power that he sought from them, their treasures and secrets. And soon after he'd let his group cast their shadows upon those treasuries, leaving all those women in a state of shock and rage. And every time he never saw any of them again. But she was different. He never wanted anything from her, that is if wanting one's presence is considered stealing. "Yo, I think that fat guy saw us," Li said from behind him, tapping him lightly on the shoulder. He shrugged the man off as he continued walking. He didn't want to hurt her. Nor did he want to hurt himself. He had to leave her, for the sake of them both. He'll leave her, but not before he'd tell her how he truly feels. That loss would pain her for sure, but he didn't mind anymore. He was distinctly selfish, and even for one last time, he'd share her his pain. The sound of gunfire woke him up from his daze, his head quickly turning back to see the source. "Damn!" he cursed as he pulled Li's wrist, the two running away from the hunter they had earlier met. "I told you he saw us!" Li shouted as gunfire rained upon them. He could hear the distant yells of the hunter, the rage of footsteps trailing behind them. I must live… "Go there!" Li shouted as they reached a fork. They decided to split up, him taking the right as Li took the left. The hunter stopped abruptly in mid step, only to decide that he shall follow the silver haired one. I must live for you… The chase went on, with Li trailing behind the hunter. He must've sensed the hunter following his ally, for he had turned back to at least give the hunter a hard time. Gunfire still coursed through the surroundings, poisoning his mind in a frantic attempt to get away. I need to see you… There was a turn in the path that he had to take unless he wanted to crash. It was a risk he needed to take, willing only himself to get away…that had been his mistake. I need to hold you again… The sound of a last gunfire rang through his head as darkness enveloped him. The only thing he could hear was Li's voice calling out for him, "Kurama!!!" To be with you one last time… End of Prologue
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Part 1
Destiny Standard disclaimers apply. Yu Yu Hakusho and all it's characters are not mine, I'm merely borrowing ^_^ This chapter is done after Kurama became Shuuichi, in that time where Yusuke was trying to get the three artifacts. Done with that ugly guy, this chapter starts off with Yusuke's face-off with Kurama. As you may notice, the fanfic is somewhat based on the series, although I've changed a few lines and such. It would be a bit too boring if I used too much similarities, it would be like writing a summary with a twist, ne? ^-^ Chapter done in Kurama's point of view. Chapter 1 I was forced to steal again, the dark memories of my past flooding through my mind as I held the mirror in my hands. The chill of the mirror's surface cut through my skin like a cold knife, the painful mockery filling all my senses, making my hands tremble. Memories, that I merely considered illusions now, started a furious downpour in my mind and left me in a daze. And I find myself struggling to get rid of it, to void it from my head like a distressing nightmare. I stole it for my human mother, to at least have a chance of saving her from her illness. Never in my life have I found someone to really love deeply since my escape, and I would have given my all just to have her live. Shiori Minamino had always been kind to me, treating me like a son for all these years. Not that she's not taking care of her son, it's just that it's not truly Shuuichi Minamino who she's been with these past years. It's me, a crazed youko who had stolen her son from her. I've done her a grave sin, and all I wanted now is to make up for it, to prove myself worthy of her love as much as her true son does. The mirror was supposed to grant any wish in exchange for a life. Right now I don't have any sacrifice but myself, but I had convinced myself that I'd rather die than have my mother die instead. I wouldn't have the heart to live through the guilt. My mother had taught me that, how to be kind and how to share. And this is my payment for her patience and love. And for my lies. "So that was your mother," Yusuke, the Reikai detective whom I promised the mirror to, said in a soft voice. I could've sworn there was sympathy, but nonetheless, I'm not sure whether or not I cared at the moment. All I could think about was my mother. Worry and anxiety swirled inside me that I find myself void of any other emotion. I nodded my head in response to him. "She had been the one who had cared for me all these years," I started, feeling my fists clench tightly at my side that I thought I felt blood trickling down from it. Yet I still don't care. I took a deep breath and told him everything about my past, about everything that my mother has done for me. He listened with meek sincerity, nodding every once in a while whenever I pause. I watched his expression of pure understanding, but he also had a look of determination. He was a spirit detective after all, and he was here for the mirror. What else should I expect? "Why are you telling me this?" he asked me, his eyes pointed directly at mine. I averted my gaze from him, setting the mirror on the ground in front of me. "I just want to let someone know. And I know you trust me enough," I told him indifferently as I sighed. The calm, peaceful look he had given me confirmed what I said. From the very beginning, I had watched him and I knew he spoke in all honesty when he said he felt I wasn't an enemy. And I have no plans of breaking that trust. "I'll give it to you once I'm done," I told him, holding up my hand above the shimmering glass. The mirror had shown my mother's face as soon as my reflection hit its surface. The smile my mother wore in that image made my heart clench, a sudden burst of pain and sorrow filling me. I couldn't feel myself any longer, all I ever wanted was for her to be well. No matter what the cause. Is this what you long for? I heard a deep voice in my head. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. A breath that most probably be my last. I nodded my head to give it the sign that I have agreed. For you, okaasan… I shut my eyes as sparks of electricity flowed through my arm up to my body, causing me to stiffen in my place as the pain coursed through me. I tried to hold on for a few more seconds but the pain was suddenly unbearable. I gritted my teeth as I willed myself to only think of okaasan. I shall die for her. I had made my wish. Through all the pains, I find no regrets. But just as I could feel my body giving in, the mirror started to give me back my strength. I opened my eyes to see Yusuke crouched beside me, offering his own life to the mirror instead. "What are you doing?" I asked him, frustration evident in my voice. I watched him slowly weaken under the mirror's spell. I glared at him through my stinging eyes as I kept my hand intact for the mirror to take. If only the mirror hadn't held me immobile, I would've pushed the young boy away. I was in haste, and I would never allow anything to go between me and the mirror. Not even Reikai. My mother's about to die, and I can't let myself just sit and wait. But I wouldn't allow this man to be harmed because of my purpose. "No! Take my life instead!" he yelled at the mirror, ignoring me completely. He kept his hand where it was, edging it closer to the surface. I could see his eyes spark at those words, the sheer look of determination made me almost appreciate his effort. Almost, but not enough. The circumstances were different now, and all I could think about him was that he was stubborn and foolish. I have given him a chance to back away from danger, to only wait for me until I have used it. And here he was, offering his own life. He was a fool. Brave, but a fool. This is stupid. "Stop it! This is my problem!" I persisted. I wouldn't let him do this. I have been around people too much to may have felt guilt. And no doubt I'd kill myself if this man here would die because of me. It wouldn't make me feel right. Not another life… And yet he looked at me with an enough amount of desperation to may have actually moved me. "I couldn't bear the pain of a mother crying because she had lost her child," he told me, his eyes piercing into mine. He paused for a brief moment, as if remembering something. I watched his face twist in the possible memory, and he glared at me again. "I can't bear it!" Suddenly, I felt the mirror pushing me, us, back. I couldn't fight it, and I was thrown away from the mirror. The last thing that I remembered seeing was a white, blinding light as I stumbled upon the hard ground. Okaasan… I woke up with a start, feeling blood rush to my body. My head throbbed at the sudden movement, but I merely winced in pain as I tried to contemplate on things. I looked at my hands, moving my fingers gingerly. A sudden struck of horror flooded through me, stilling me. I was alive. I quickly looked back at Yusuke in response to my shock. I watched in mixed horror and relief to see him move. He was alive as well. But okaasan…no… "Shuuichi-san!" I heard a nurse call out for me from the door. I glanced at her, my heart filled with anxiety, but the smile on her face had somehow lifted my spirits up. Maybe…"Shiori-san! Your mother! She's all right!" A surge of excitement and relief flooded through me as I pulled myself up, running for the door of my mother's room. I don't know what had just happened, but I wished to whatever gods up there for my mother to live. She had been, and still is, everything to me. I opened the door hastily to her room, quite impolitely I must say, and saw several people huddled up around her bed. And then I finally saw her. She extended her hand up to me as I neared her, a sure sign that she was well. I couldn't help the warm feeling of relief spread in my chest as I walked to her. "Shuuichi…" "Hai, hai," I muttered reassuringly, taking her hand in mine gently. Her usual warmth and comfort had come back, the love clearly showing in her touch. I'll never let her go again. Never. If given another chance, a similar situation, I would've done the same thing I just did. With or without Yusuke. "I'll take care of you, okaasan." Her smile had been the whole world to me. "I'm so glad you're here." I smiled as well, setting her back on her bed. "I'm glad we're together again," I told her before asking her to go to sleep. I stared down at her as she closed her eyes, watched as she drifted of to a deep and peaceful sleep. And for once after all these times, I was sure she'll wake up. It was a few minutes then before I remembered my earlier encounter. Yusuke. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't even be here. I owe him a favor despite my earlier actions. Actually, I owe him an apology for my behavior. I looked back at the slightly open door that led to the lighted halls of the hospital. I smiled. At least I should thank him. I gave my mother a light peck on her cheek before I turned for the door. I quickened my pace as I neared the top floor, finally reaching the final set of steps. From where I stood, I could hear laughter up on the roof. That of a male's, which surely belongs to Yusuke, and that of a female's. And I stopped in mid-step at that vague familiarity. My eyes widened at that recognition as I ran faster up the stairs. As I reached the door, it quickly opened to reveal Yusuke's face right in front of me. We stared for a couple of seconds before he held up the mirror to me and grinned. "I believe you'll be keeping your promise, eh Kurama?" he asked me, his brown eyes not leaving mine. I nodded at him and gave him a small smile of my own. "Of course. I believe I forgot to thank you. I apologize for being rude though…" He held up his hand to cut me off. "Nevermind, I'm just glad you and your mother are okay now," he said as he walked past me. "See ya!" I followed him with my eyes, a smile on my lips. Truly, I was grateful. There might be a chance for Reikai afterall. I would've followed him down, but I remembered that voice before I reached the roof. The smile faded. My hands clenched into fists as I willed myself to look back at the roof. And then I saw her. So I was right. I sucked my breath and felt my heart skip a beat. I stood in silent admiration as my eyes set on a girl's slim body, clad in a light pink kimono. She sat on her oar, her hair being tossed around by the wind, hypnotizing me in my place. But what had me completely mesmerized was the way she had looked at me with large pools of purple, captivating me in her gaze that was filled with childish ignorance and naiveté. Just like before. I knew it was her from the very first sound of her laughter, the very first remembrance. I'm afraid I may have only heard the soft bells of her laughter once, once for I kept myself from making her believe she should trust me. I only heard it once, because I never again permitted myself to hear it again, in fear of making it break through my shield. I never let myself hear her again. I promised myself I never would, in fear of getting hurt. In fear of getting us both hurt. But now we've met again, after all these years, and it had come so suddenly that I felt myself weaken. Just the hope to be able to see her again helped me find my strength. The strength of finally meeting her after years of longing. For that first time that I had heard her laughter, although I swore I forbid myself to hear it, I knew I'll remember it for eternity. End of chapter 1
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Part 2
Destiny Standard disclaimers apply. Yu Yu Hakusho and all it's characters are not mine, I'm merely borrowing ^_^ Chapter done in Botan's point of view. Chapter 2 I was so proud of Yusuke! I couldn't believe he could have done so much in just a few days. He had retrieved two artifacts at such a short time, and only one more to go. My job is not as hard as I thought it was afterall. I suppose I was so deep in thought about my pride for Yusuke that I had let my guard down. It was only until my overfilling joy subsided when I finally felt his presence. I silenced myself as I felt my heart beat faster, rising in a tremendous speed that I couldn't help myself gasp for breath. I had never been this uneasy for so long. Finally, I willed myself to look at the door from where these feelings arose from, and I found myself staring at one of the most enchanting eyes I have ever set my gaze upon. I suddenly felt myself tremble as I sat still on my oar. He looked at me with pure shock in his emerald eyes, his lips slightly parted in a stunned expression. But despite the curiosity that had build up inside me for his gaze, I couldn't help the blush that crept to my cheeks as I found myself admiring his beauty, his evident grace. I wasn't sure what Yusuke had meant when he said that this man was not an enemy, but as I look at him without fear now, I might say it probably arose from his looks. He had such a gentle face that I myself may have doubted he had evil intentions about his stealing if I hadn't been informed. The silence that surfaced between us was mind shattering, and I found myself taking more shallow breaths now. I wasn't sure what it was in this man that made me so nervous. "Anou…can I help you?" I finally blurted out to him, abruptly averting my gaze, but my eyes betrayed me as they looked back at him. He looked at me a bit longer. He turned his eyes away, his hand finding his head as he shut his eyes, as if in pain. I was about to ask him if he was all right when he opened his eyes again to look at me, opening his mouth as if to say something, but closing it again in mid thought. He bit his lip, the look in his eyes uncertain. He licked his lips before turning away again, leaving me in slight surprise at his actions. Not to mention with a blush. I hated myself for reacting so stupidly because of his actions, graceful actions I must say. But there was something in him that I couldn't quite understand. A mystery that I felt so familiar with. It was almost like… The sudden beep from inside my kimono crushed the silence that had fallen between us. I saw him watch me pull the small gadget from my obi from the corner of his eyes, making me conscious of my every movement. But despite the uneasiness, I don't want to leave his gaze. "Yes, Koenma-sama?" I answered as Koenma-sama's child face flashed through the screen. Koenma-sama's expression turned from mellow to angry as he pushed his small fists into the screen. "Botan, where the hell are you!? The second artifact is done, why aren't you returning yet?" he yelled, his high-pitched voice crushing my ears. Suddenly, I missed the silence. I almost wanted to hit Koenma-sama for saying that. Now I looked like a total idiot. In front of this "Kurama" as well. Baka, baka, baka, Koenma-sama! You should be thankful I still respect you after all these years. I frowned, "Yes, yes, Koenma-sama," I assured him, closing the compact in my fists, feeling the material almost breaking in my hold. Baka, Koenma-sama, of all places to yell at me! I was about to leave when I caught a glimpse of his figure running up to me. He held up his hands, calling out for me. "W-Wait!" He yelled. Even through a yell, his voice had come out so soft, and all I ever want was to hear him again. I didn't know why I felt like this, but I sure am not hasty to find out. I wanted to cherish it for a while. Although I'm not sure if I can hold on for long. I looked down at him as I turned my oar, lowering myself a bit to be leveled with him and the roof. "Uhm…is something wrong?" I asked. I wanted to hit myself at the sheer stupidity of that question, but still, I wanted to know whether or not he was feeling all right. I finally found myself near enough for conversation, and I looked at him with patient waiting for him to answer. He suddenly stepped back again, as if afraid to be so close to me. I almost frowned at that. He hesitated at first, but then he finally spoke, "Can we talk?" he asked, blurted actually. The question was so sudden that I felt myself stumble back. I looked at him in mild surprise. A look of confusion came to me as I shook my head to show my uncertainty. "Please?" he asked again. This time, he was a tad bit bolder, leaning on the edge to look closer at me. I lowered my gaze, my brows meeting in the mist of all these confusion. We barely even know each other. What would he want from me? Information about Yusuke? About Reikai? Will he cause another case against the other realm? Another threat? But if so, why do I find myself completely trusting him? All I could do was ask. "What about?" He shook his head. "I just need to ask you something. But not now, next time maybe." I'm not even sure if there'll ever be a next time, I thought with a frown. But nonetheless, I nodded. That was the first time I saw his smile, and I almost choked at the sight of it. It was as if he became more beautiful than before. At first I doubted it would have been possible, but now I'm looking at the living proof. He was indeed more beautiful now. I had to knock myself out of my own world to really focus on the real one. "We'll meet again, I'm sure," he said, his voice firm and certain. And I believe him. For a strange reason, I find myself utterly stupid and gullible for all his possible lies. But whenever I look at the depths of his eyes, all doubts leave my mind, leaving me in a state of trance that might even make me jump from my oar if he asks me to. And I knew I had to get away. From him and the possible danger my actions might lead to if I remained. "I have to go," I told him, lifting myself up as I tried to avoid his eyes. But the sudden warmth of his hand around mine suddenly ceased further movements from me, making me look at him again. If this hold keeps up, I might as well jump from this oar even without him asking me to. The feelings that he had stirred just by looking had made me a complete fool under his command. But again, all doubts slipped my mind at the worried look he gave me from those mesmerizing eyes. I could only hope he was sincere. "But you would talk to me, won't you?" he asked, his grip tightening its hold. I stared down at his hands as they held mine. I felt my face flush. I pulled my hand away quickly, holding it in the other in an attempt to warm the cold flesh. He was making me so nervous, I really had to go. And so I nodded slowly. "Yes…but I really have to go," I told him, but voice cracking through my nervousness. He smiled again, and all of a sudden I almost wanted to change my mind about leaving. "Thank you," he told me, his eyes possessing an interesting sparkle. "Until next time then." "Where the hell is Urameshi!?" Kazuma Kuwabara yelled at no one in particular as we all sat at a remote area of the park, waiting for Yusuke to arrive. It had been quite a while. I had been able to meet Keiko Yukimura, and she had been a great friend to me after Yusuke had explained that, let's say, what she saw with me and him the first time was not what she was thinking. I met Shizuru, Kuwabara's older sister and Yukina, Hiei's younger sister. Although I know I'll get killed if I told anybody else besides the ones who already know about Yukina and Hiei's relationship. And speaking of Hiei, we were able to put him on our side with much help from Kurama. He had convinced Hiei to help Yusuke on his next mission, which I might say had been one bumpy ride, but it all turned out quite well. Hiei had turned out to be a very valuable ally to have. And so was Kurama. It turns out that he was someone who was highly intellectual and very much a gentleman. And I find myself thinking about him ever since that meeting in the hospital. But he had never kept his word of talking to me. I waited, and yet he doesn't seem to be showing much sign to want to talk to me about anything. I kept waiting, sometimes fearing that he might have changed his mind. But I don't want to jump to any conclusion, after all, I was quite certain that he was serious that time. We barely talk now. We barely even take glances of each other. I could feel a certain wall slowly building up between us, keeping me from getting to him. And it hurts. I was obsessed with him, helpless at the chains he unconsciously wrapped around me after that day. Sometimes, I even want to cry because of him. To cry for his cold ignorance of what I felt. "Botan?" The sound of that familiar voice cut through my thought as I suddenly looked up to see Kurama looking at me. "Are you feeling all right?" he asked, his eyes filled with worry as he gazed at me. I was speechless that time, I didn't know what to say. Okay, so he's not that cold right now, but it was only a friendly concern that he had asked me that. I'm not even sure if he'd care if I say I felt down. I felt everyone's eyes on me, feeling their concerned murmurs as they followed Kurama's lead. "Oi! I'm here!" Yusuke's voice announced as he threw his bag on the table, knocking a few cups off. His face twisted at the clumsy display. "Oops!" Keiko stood up abruptly, pulling on Yusuke's ear. "Yusuke, what the hell did you do that for!?" she asked as she pulled Yusuke down on one seat. "You should be more careful!" I watched Yusuke scowl in pain at Keiko's handling, seeing everyone laugh at the two. Well, maybe not Hiei, whom I've watched looking away from the first time I saw him that day, and until now he kept the same position. My eyes fell upon Kurama then, seeing him chuckle in recognition at the two's display. But it was only a short time when his laughter died down as he looked back at me, his eyes filling with concern again. I shook my head at his silent question, looking down at my hands as I twisted my fingers around. I couldn't stand it. I had to ask him what he wants from me. If we keep up this pace, I might as well drive myself mad! End of chapter 2
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Part 3
Destiny Standard disclaimers apply. Yu Yu Hakusho and all it's characters are not mine, I'm merely borrowing ^_^ Chapter done in Kurama's point of view. Okay, Youko Kurama's to be precise, so it's a bit different. After all, it wasn't stated that Kurama was the goody-to-shoes Shuuichi when he was a youko, ne? This is just a short flashback if your obvious intellect or even the italics wouldn't permit you that knowledge. Lime alert, almost lemon actually, but I'm too tired for that…not to mention too young. Hit me on the head if ever this fic turns out lemon, okay? Chapter 3 A muffled scream shook the thick vegetation, abruptly ceasing my steps as I whirled around to its direction. Usually, it shouldn't have bothered me. Makai was filled with screams, whether it is by innocent souls that had lost their way in the hungry mouths of predators or by the predators themselves who had finally found their match. I tried shaking the thought of seeking the voice's owner, leaving all hope that she, or whoever the voice's owner was, was alive or on it's way through an escape. It was always like that. And they always end in death. But as I tried to step away, another ear-crushing scream kept me still. This time, it was followed by a muted growl. My eyes narrowed at the sudden scene that flashed through my head. A girl with a youkai. Very much typical. And yet, I found myself in a sudden sprint towards the sounds, with only the girl's voice leading me on my way. She better keep screaming, I thought to myself, Or else I might change my mind and leave her instead. Patience was not really my virtue, I only practice it when needed. And I hardly find rescuing a girl necessary. But something in the vulnerability of that voice had me captivated, pulling me to accept the hidden plea. One wouldn't regularly find me a knight in shining armor, but there are times when I could spare the time. Not that I cared, such deeds just give me a good excuse to kill, a great way to practice my skills. I reached her quickly enough. I looked around to find a girl that resembled that of a human's body, with a huge youkai awaiting his time to pounce at her. His eyes blazed with a burst of fury as I noticed the blood that trickled down from his left eye. My gaze shifted down to the ground and found an oar with bloodstains on the very tip. I would have smirked at the thought of a girl even laying a finger on this giant monster. Must be the shame, explains why he's so furious. I then shifted my gaze to the girl. A pink kimono and possessed an oar. Of course. Reikai. She certainly was a Reikai ferrygirl, which gave me all the fine reasons to mind my own business. I never really was acquainted with that realm, and I have no plans of starting to do so. I was a thief after all, and there's a possibility that this girl would turn me over just after I rescue her. I've had a lot of idiotic men to go along such ferrygirls, all of them turned over to Reikai. After a night's pleasure, they're all left to their doom. Such women are cold, pitiless bitches as I see it. I was about to turn back and walk away, but her ice shattering voice made me stop. "Wait!" she called out, only to yelp in fear as the youkai growled at her and taunted another step towards her. "Help me, please!" I stared at her, seeing the tiny evidence of tears in her eyes. She wasn't looking at me though, she was looking at the youkai who had somehow found its way to take two more steps. She was backing away with every move, her whole body trembling beneath the cold winds. I watched them, neither of them deserving the right to live in my mind. But it had been long since I've killed somebody, and I find myself thirsty for the bloodshed that had been caused by my own hands yet again. What the hell. My whip slashed through the muscled body of the youkai, too quick to allow him a scream. The giant weight of his body made the ground quiver as it fell to its back, eyes and mouth opened in obvious shock. He wasn't ready for that strike. What a fool. I stared at the corpse that lay ungracefully in front of me, my feet moving forward to let me pick up the oar that lay discarded on the ground. I then looked at the girl who was still trembling in her place, her pale hands wrapped around herself in fear. I gave her a sardonic grin, gesturing to the oar in my hands. "Is this yours?" I asked her. It took her a few seconds to look up at me with tearful eyes. It took a few seconds more for her to nod her head. "Anou…t-thank you for saving me. C-Can I have my oar back?" I didn't move, with only a disdainful grunt as my reply. I walked back to the lifeless body that laid sprawled to the ground. I stared in obvious distaste as blood flowed out of his body from where my whip had wrapped itself on him. I held the oar tightly in my grip, poising it on top of the other eye. I looked at the girl from the corner of my eyes just as I heard a surprised gasp, feeling her voice shaking in her throat. I smirked wryly with my back to her as I swiftly stabbed the oar to the youkai's eye, leaving him with both eyes now blind. Not that he needed it anyway, he's dead. I wasn't trying to hit him really, I just want to play with the girl a little further. The sudden sound of sobbing started to wake me from my play as I turned back to find the girl crying, her face buried in her palms. I watched her impassively as she shook in her place, almost violently enough to may have bothered me. After a while, I found myself stepping towards her, dropping her oar as I did so. I couldn't give it to her now, it might just scare her even more with the blood I just placed on it. I looked at it once last time. No, definitely, I couldn't give it to her. "You're all right," it came out firmer than I had intended to, and I doubted whether that had helped her or just made her feel worse. I really didn't know why I cared, but I felt like I needed to help this girl, discarding the thought how much I despise Reikai. Hell, if she turns on me, I'll kill her, simple as that. I watched her back away from me, her sobs getting more and more louder each time I try to touch her. I tried coaxing her, but it seems as though she couldn't trust me. I don't blame her, actually, I found her wise for not trusting me. I'm still in the process of deciding whether or not I'd kill her as well, or at least blind her the same way I had that youkai. But all thoughts slipped my mind as I felt a heavy warmth falling to my chest, leaving me to lose my footing. I fell back as I find myself gazing down the girl's body, my eyes locking at the sudden closeness. She must have fainted. I scowled at myself for losing my guard. If that was an attempted attack, I should be as good as dead by now. But as I gazed down at the innocent show this girl had proved to me, I found myself wrapping my arms around her, lifting her up in my arms. I wasn't sure on what I would do to her, but she badly needed relief from everything that has happened. Her body was filled with scratches and bruises, and I caught myself fingering a light wound in her pale lips. So maybe I was too late after all. Suddenly, I found myself regretting what I did, I shouldn't have scared her like that. She was unconscious enough to allow me to take her with me to my lair. It started to rain hard, leaving us both soaked to the skin as we finally reached shelter. I set her down on my own bed as I went to another room to dry myself. And as I did so, the memories of her screams, her fearful eyes, her trembling hands, all came back to me in a sudden blow. I couldn't believe the impact it had done at such a short instant. Was I caring for her too much? I shook my head at the possibility, pulling a thick cloth as I walked to her again. I stood still for a while, gazing down her body, watching in disbelief at the sudden interest I found as I looked down at her kimono, watching it stick to her lithe frame. The rain had soaked her all right, and I find myself admiring the effects. I admit, she was beautiful despite her being a ferrygirl. I shook my head as I started to take off her obi, my fingers lacing around her waist as I tried removing each cloth. I draped the blanket I took from the other room around her, before I pulled the rest of her clothing away, voiding me of any view of whatever might be the source of the warmth that started to spread through my body. Damn, I hate it when such instincts bother me, especially whenever I try to do what I needed to. She was a part of Reikai, and I have to keep my guard around her. They're all the same. But only a fool would neglect the heated looks I'm giving her now. And yet, only a blind fool would neglect the fact that she was beautiful. Hell I hated myself. It was obvious. I wanted her. Much as I tried to restrain myself, my hand betrayed me as it started to creep up from the side of her waist, crawling up to her arm as my fingers laced around hers. I leaned to one side to let my other hand extend its way up to touch her face, my fingers tracing their way from her neck, up to her cheeks. They crawled up to her forehead, easing the slight crease on her brows, resting atop her closed lids, all the while as my other arm started its caress on her arms again. I leaned down to gaze at the innocent face, her skin smooth and soft beneath my touch. I shut my eyes as I tried once more to pull away, only to find my body deceiving me as I pulled her closer. I clenched one hand to a fist, battling whether or not I should knock my head on the wall or not. I shouldn't do this. I don't normally do this. Usually it's my men who do this mostly, and never have I tried, for I always find better things than take advantage of women. But she…this girl was…different. And as much as I try to regain my sanity, I take a sudden look at her and all thoughts of decency dies down. I wanted her. Badly. And this time, I have no attempt to stop myself anymore. I buried my face on her neck, finding myself in a fury of wild kisses, clutching the blanket that served as the barrier between us, almost ripping it apart at the sudden surge of lust inside me. I couldn't understand it, I never felt like this before. Nor have I even bothered to ask anybody. But now I couldn't think of anything but her, almost growling at the impatience and lack of satisfaction in what I was taking. She was everything I wanted, and yet I didn't know how I should act, how I should hold her. It was heaven and hell, clashed up in a mist of confusion that I had to stifle a yell for the vague pain that I felt. Nothing was helping me. I struck the stone wall beside the bed, feeling the blood trickle down as the sharp wedges pierced through my skin. I winced in pain, but I found this kind of pain more familiar than the other. I hated yet welcomed the new feeling, finding myself calming down as I stared coldly at the river of blood from the side of my palm. It was distracting me enough. But not for long. I was shocked as I heard a faint moan from her lips, her body shivering abruptly beneath me, causing me to want to hold her close again. But her next moan made me lift myself up, if not drive me further down the edge of sanity. My breathing was rapid and shallow, feeling the warmth creep up my face, drenching me with my own sweat as I longed for her once more. But I waited, as she fluttered her eyes to adjust them to her surroundings. Although I doubted that it helped, my lair was dark enough to blind her. Yet she must have felt me on top of her, as she gasped in obvious shock at that revelation. My eyes narrowed, placing my forefinger on her lips to cease any sign of protest. Not that she had any, she was merely staring back at me with those drowning pools of purple. And I found myself drowning all over again. I found myself caressing her cheeks, the sudden assault of this new openness had its hold tightly on me again. I stared into her eyes and allowed myself to lose my remaining sanity in her, allowing my mind the thoughts that I had long tried to suppress since the first time I've been with her here in my lair. And as suspected, I sank, deep into her warmth like a child seeking for shelter. She was a fool to welcome me. "You're bleeding," she whispered, finally breaking the silence that covered both of us as she cradled my hand in hers. Her touch was gentle and warm, and I found myself staring at her as she nursed my wound. I would've said something, but stopped at the sudden flash of memory the wound had given me. Suddenly, I felt uncomfortable. I quickly sat up and snatched my hand away, turning back from her as I recollected my thoughts. I don't know why I cared, but I couldn't look at her now. Not now, now that I was gravely sure I would come to dangerous heights for her. Hell, I would've taken her then and there if she only didn't wake up. I cursed myself for being careless, and cursed again at the sudden spark of hurt as I left her touch. I wanted to touch her again, and yet forbidden myself to do so in fear of losing myself. She hadn't completely had my trust yet. "Let me see," she said, her voice barely a whisper. I held my breath as she tenderly took my hand from me, holding it in a gentle caress, frowning later on at the damage I must have done to it. The feel of her fingers trailing down my hand was not left unignored as I felt my heart beat drumming its way out of my chest. "What did you do to yourself?" she asked me, looking up to glare into my eyes. "You should be a little more careful." I blinked at that. Was she scolding me? My eyes narrowed at her, but this time, I let my hand remain where it was. For some apparent reason, I found her touch…welcoming. I don't want to think about it, but I wanted us this way. At least, if not for the sudden burst of lust I felt for her just a few minutes ago, at least I'd find the satisfaction of having her touch me. But I wouldn't tell her that. I still kept my guard. "It's none of your business," I snapped at her, but my voice gave me away. It was almost…gentle. She smiled. Much to my surprise. Fuck what I said then, the voice completely opposed to whatever fury I tried to show on that remark. "I can take care of this if you want me to," she offered, fingering my wound, her smile still intact. When I didn't reply, she sighed and lifted her hand above mine, a faint glow emanating from her palms. A feeling of warmth and coolness mixed itself at that light, replacing the pain with a pleasing sensation that I couldn't help closing my eyes. I wasn't sure what she was doing, but I found myself not protesting. I was certainly not myself. I opened my eyes to find my wound gone, my hand good as it was before. My breath caught at that, abruptly shifting my gaze to look up at her. She shrugged. "It's nothing, just a little something given to us ferrygirls." I was right. She was a ferrygirl. And yet…I find her different from the others. All the others I've known all looked like petty demons themselves, playing with unsuspecting youkai's minds. I know their main task was to escort human souls to Reikai, but heaven knows what they do in their past time. Manipulative creatures. Was this what she's trying to do? I hate to think she was playing with me. For at the very instant that I found out about how I felt about her, I would never again welcome the thought of her being like all the others. I wanted to believe she was different. I wanted to believe her kindness was honest and true. I wanted to believe that she wouldn't cost me anything, to believe that she was a blessing. But all roses have their thorns. I looked away from her, as a sudden pain surged up my chest, almost suffocating me. I couldn't look at her, lest risk myself drowning at the depths of her gaze once again. I couldn't let her melt me just like this, I can't let her take off my guard by a mere gaze. But fate failed me again as I felt her hands coming up behind my back, crawling up to my shoulders. A muffled gasp escaped me as I felt her hand pulling me to face her, feeling her lips touch mine in a light, feathery touch that almost drove me to the edge. What was she doing? My hands came up to her wrist, pushing her away from me only to be met by a gentle struggle. She got out of my grip easily enough. She has made me weak at her earlier assault, as I found her coming closer to me to hold me in a light hug. She rested herself on my chest, her eyes crawling up to meet mine. My eyes narrowed at her, gripping her arms tightly that she winced in pain. But that, I ignored. "Are you sure about this?" I asked her, my voice coming out in a trembling croak. She didn't answer me, only slithering up to bury herself in my neck, feeling her lips caress my flesh. I shut my eyes at the torture I was giving to myself, trapping me in my own will to keep my guard. Hell. My mind raced, my heart jumped. I wanted her, I can't deny that. It will not be my fault if something happens to this girl. With that thought held in mind, I shifted all other doubts away and pulled her closer in a deep kiss. End of chapter 3
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Part 4
Destiny Standard disclaimers apply. Yu Yu Hakusho and all it's characters are not mine, I'm merely borrowing ^_^ Chapter done in Botan's point of view. Chapter 4 I sat up in a sudden jolt, clutching my chest in a wild attempt to catch my breath. It didn't help though, my heart kept pounding hard, as if trying to seek release from the confines from which it was trapped in. I felt my breathing tighten as beads of sweat ran down my temples, my knuckles pale as they clutched whatever material was accessible. I couldn't help the sudden outburst of pain and emotion that grew rapidly inside me. My isides felt cold, like everything was wrapped in a blanket of ice that kept me from moving. The pain was unbearable that I felt tears started to flow down my cheeks, their warmth contrasting to the coldness I felt. For fifteen years, I've held these dreams, these memories, far beyond my mind, seeing them as mere delusions of my existence. For fifteen years, I've hidden these dreams as a sheer shadow of a nightmare, haunting me during the nights as I lay myself in deep slumber. And yet, it's not exactly the experience that is entirely the nightmare. It was the pain of losing him, the pain of being left out in the cold while I waited for him to come. The feeling of loss. Years had passed, but it seemed like only yesterday when I found myself waiting on the very same place, a rendezvous we have silently settled upon each day since we have met. For hours, I had waited, hoping that he did not forget me, wishing to the heavens that fate still had given me a chance on happiness. But hours had turned into days, days turned into week, weeks into months and months into years. Until I could not wait any longer. But every striking instant that I happened to pass by the mysterious realm, I never neglected to look down and hoped to see a sign of a silver streak. His path. But it was only a while back since I had completely convinced myself that he had left me. I had convinced myself that I was but a mere pawn in his life, only but a tiny dot in his vast universe. I was stupid to might have hoped that he had actually cared. And yet, I couldn't find it in myself to forget him, to forget the heated gaze he would always give me whenever we get the chance to be together. I had trusted him deeply, for over the days that we had shared each other's company, he hadn't taken me, hadn't taken advantage of my trust. I would be a fool to ignore the lust that burned in his gaze, the heat obvious whenever we touch. And yet he would always turn back and say he had to go. No, he did not take me. I wasn't sure whether he truly cared for my status, or he was just playing, that he thought of me as just a young girl, too naïve of the true meaning of what our meetings had meant. Maybe I was just dreaming when I thought that whenever he would avoid me, it was because he needed the time to contemplate on what these feelings were. Or was I just avoiding the possibility that he only took me as a mere play? If so, why had he been so secretive? Why the sudden leave? Was I not good enough for him? I shook my head at the thoughts that started to whirl up my head, all the painful possibilities, all the dreaded memories that only made me miss him more. I couldn't deny the feelings I've felt. We have only met for a few days, lasted only a few weeks, I didn't even know his name. And yet, I found him intriguing, his gaze I found magnetic, pulling me in a deep trance. His voice would always drive me to oblivion, his touch burning heated scars in my skin. Years have gone by, and yet I still remember everything. And it was painful. For that brief time that I have found serenity in his arms, I knew I was in love. "Botan?" Utter stupidity! Just the night before I found myself in a trance of nostalgic memories, and now I'm here in front of another man, completely void of any other except that his eyes were now burying themselves against mine. And I can't help feeling the blush that would always creep up my cheeks whenever he sets his lovely eyes on me, setting me instantly in a fury of emotions that I couldn't keep up with all of them. Although, I wasn't sure about myself. He was good looking, I give you that, but I doubted whether or not these feelings were the same as I have felt the night before. It's the same, stupid. I winced at that voice in my head, a constant sermon about me being a fool to even try to think about these feelings. But at times I find its remarks mind-shattering, my head acknowledging the constant snaps, for there was one remark I can hardly forget. A remark on why I kept finding myself drowning in his eyes. Because they both have the same piercing gaze. "Botan." His voice was firm, standing out. That second call had cut through my thoughts well enough. I looked up at him, my brows arched in question at the address. His own brows furrowed, leaning against his long, slender arms as he stared down at me. "You were going to ask me something?" he reminded me, his emerald eyes slicing deep into my own. And suddenly, I found myself breathless. Again. See? I told you. The same, ne? "Shut up," I muttered in a low voice. He frowned even further at that careless remark. I quickly shook my head at him. That remark was not intended to be heard. "Anou…a few days ago…you said something about talking to me?" my voice trembled slightly at the slight awkwardness between us. Up until now, I couldn't find myself to look up directly into his eyes. Not longer than a few measly seconds. I'm butter in his gaze, and I know I had to stay away from it unless I want to lose to him. Suddenly, the light in his eyes died down as he leaned back against his seat. "Oh," was all he said, suddenly finding the straw in drink interesting, fumbling around with the tip and kept on staring at it. Silence covered us both, neither wanting to look at the other. I've caught tiny glimpses of him in the corner of my eyes, but he seemed too much into his own world to even notice me looking. I waited for him to reply, but none came. It was only when the silence started to bother me when I tried to ask again. "Uhm…Kurama?" "Not now," he sighed finally, shaking his head. He paused for a second, looking up at me slowly with a small smile. "You do understand, don't you?" No. "I suppose." That was a lie. Shut up! His smile widened, his eyes returning to that familiar sparkle. "So, is that all?" he asked, easing himself further into his seat. I sighed. "I guess so," I told him, looking down at my hands as they fumbled violently at the tissue paper I held between them. Why was I so nervous around him? Why can't I just act naturally like I do with all the others? Another awkward silence. I awaited further words from him rather impatiently, but kept my calm as anxiety flowed through me. I felt my body warm and cold all at the same time as I watched him stare outside the glass windows. "Botan?" I drew a sharp intake of breath when he called me, my name but a simple note in the beauty of his voice. Much as I found myself unable to move at the sudden spell he had cast, I found my strength to look at him. I cleared my throat of whatever lump that was placed there whenever he looks at me, willing myself to respond. "Yes?" "Will you be there watching us during the tournament?" he asked. I cleared my mind of any other thoughts. Or at least I tried. "I think so, I'll be asking Koenma-sama if I can," I replied. That seemed to have brought him a smile. I think. "You'll be rooting for us, won't you?" I smiled. Despite the uneasiness, I still can find comfort in those heart-melting smiles he'd give, getting me lost in a fury of emotions. Like the time you smiled at him. Yes...like that time we first met. The time even his misty glare brought me a smile. The time when he looked at me in confusion... ...And gave me his own smile. "I promise." With that final remark, he nodded his head and said goodbye. I couldn't tell him I wouldn't be able to watch the first part of the battle because I have things to do, but I wasn't sure it would make a difference. I didn't even know if he really cared. I sighed, slipping out of the booth, my knees weak from all the trembling. He makes me remember him so clearly. Now that I've thought I've gotten over the loss, why did the memory had to come back? Why does the pain have to come back? Why...is it another false hope that fate would give me? Another false hope on love again? I woudn't take it...I'm still in love with him. End of chapter 4
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Part 5
Destiny Standard disclaimers apply. Yu Yu Hakusho and all it's characters are not mine, I'm merely borrowing ^_^ Drats, this is the revised version, I forgot that Yusuke was NOT in this part of the tournament *bumps her head on the wall repeatedly* Baka, baka, baka…this is what I get from basing a fanfic on the series...but I changed it already ^-^ Chapter done in Kurama's point of view. Chapter 5 The pain in my arm was sudden. "Oi, Kurama! What the hell are you doing!? Don't doze off now!" Kazuma's insistent voice woke me up from my trance, forcing me to straighten myself. His voice had rung me back to reality as I winced at the pain that started to spread through my arm as my hand automatically seized my arm to stop the bleeding. I looked down to see my own blood clinging to my clothes, the wound just as raw as the pain it had caused. I cursed under my breath at my own carelessness, glaring at my opponent's eyes as I dodged another assault. I stole a careful glance at my team, casting up a hand to let them know I was all right. The tournament has begun. The battles I have been through were tolerable enough, and I have only used up a few of my spiritual energy on them. Most of my opponents were defeated in battles of wits, and they have been easy enough for me, and Yusuke was practicing his powers with Genkai somewhere at the moment. But even through my worse battles, all the while I kept finding myself scanning the audience, even the team's side, of a single glimpse of blue that might brighten up my hopes of winning. Explains the careless hits I get. A frown suddenly creased my face. I was convinced she wasn't in the stadium, I have looked at almost every single seat there is in this place, but not a single glimpse of her was present. My frown never left me as I willed myself to just concentrate on the fight, my body responding on reflexes solely for my mind is always elsewhere. My opponent had started saying things that I could hardly understand, my mind all clouded in a mist of confusion and disappointment. "Kurama, watch out!" I woke up in a start, over and over cursing myself as I realized that I must've lost myself yet again. I glanced at Kazuma's worried face, as I felt cold and moist air envelope me, trapping me in a cloud of smoke. The mist started to climb up around me, blocking my view of my surroundings. All I could see was the misty blue of the cold fog. I backed away, concentrating on where my opponent was, willing my mind to stop thinking about her for sometime and at least give me the aid to live. "This is a technique that makes an enemy younger," the small, mischievous voice that I recognized as my opponent's spoke beneath the mist. I looked around, trying to find a single sign of him or his weapon, standing my guard as a watched the clouds swirling around me. "I shall wait for it to take effect, and then I'll find myself battling a little baby," his laughter roared inside my head, deafening me. I tried covering my ears, only to find myself void of the usual long hair that I possessed. I gasped silently, staring down at my hands. My small hands. My eyes widened, my voice getting caught up n my throat. Could it be? I stared down at my own body, feeling my senses tingle at the sudden change in physical features. I gritted my teeth as I contemplated on what he had just said. A technique that makes the enemy younger… No…if this goes on, I might as well be dead. If I continue this battle as a child, I'm afraid I might… I shut my eyes as the continuous chill swelled inside my skin, making me tremble slightly. I supposed I was a mere infant by then as I found myself weak and unable to stand. I winced, cursing my luck as I waited for the attack that was sure to come. But even as a child I could still feel the cold sting of the mist surrounding me, engulfing me in a cloud of ice. My head began to throb, the painful beating seemingly crushing my head. I started to grow again, from a small child to another…being. My eyes widened as my strength started to flood back to me, even more than I first had before the battle. I looked down at my hands, my body, only to find myself looking down at the all-familiar paleness that had been me. That was me…fifteen years before. I closed my eyes as I permit myself to change again, the fear and worry all forgotten as I awaited the spell to cease. My confidence started to go up again, my heart lessening its fearful attempt to pump blood on my pale skin. I smirked as streaks of silver started to block my sight, my ears transforming back to that familiar youkai ones on my head. My eyes settled on the mist with a renowned buoyancy. Only to remember something else. My eyes snapped open as dread started to flow through my veins, blocking the sudden hope of victory. It was clear to me that I have come back to my old self, the youko that I once was. The youko that had been the source of my nightmares every night. The being that had always left me hungry to hold the one I had tried to escape years and years before. The sudden fear of realization as I might be able to come back to that past. To have that kind of danger again. The girl… …No, she mustn't see me like this. I wouldn't let her. I gritted my teeth as I watched the clouds start to part. The expected gasp came from the crowd, with the same thing from my opponent. Pure horror had started to spread through him, his skin paler than that of a ghost. He backed away from me, clutching his rod tighter in his fist. "W-Was it…too much?" he whispered, glancing at their supposed to be leader. The man merely shrugged and looked away, leaving his teammate clueless and afraid. I frowned, pity filling my mind. I had to make this quick if ever I plan to defeat this man. To spare him the pain, and to spare me the trouble. I had to change back to my own self. The risk of struggling through the questions to come might not be tolerable for me. I could only wish that she hasn't seen me yet. After a few taunting words for fear, much needed for later battles, I tried to finish the match in haste. I was free to roam my eyes on the audience now, rest assured that I would win. The young man was no match to my skills, as proven by the cuts and bruises I had just inflicted on him and my body that had been left unharmed. But dread started to flow through me as the match neared its end. My enemy was down. Even before the referee could announce the winner, I ran to our side of the ring and grabbed Kazuma by the shoulder, cutting off his obvious cheers. My intent gaze must've silenced Hiei as well as I was left to panic on my own. But that was hardly the thought that had been on my mind. "Where's Botan?" I asked, almost desperately. I was met with a startled gaze, Kazuma's eyes widened at the sudden question. And must've been the touch of a stranger. I was in my youkai form after all. I growled, having to shake him frantically before he jumps out of his trance. "K-Kurama!? W-What? What did you say? Hiei said you were…" "Where's Botan?" I asked again, cutting off his statement. He started to look around. "Botan? I think she's not here, probably had something to do," he replied. A short pause went on between us, only to be interrupted by Kazuma's sly grin. "Why?" he asked, almost teasingly. Like he understands what's going on. "Nevermind," I said, turning away from all of them as I headed for our quarters. "Oi, where are you going? We're not allowed to leave unless the whole match is over!" I ignored that last remark completely, heightening my steps into long ones as I ran through the hall towards our room. I reached the bolted door, almost kicking it open and shut myself inside. I tried to catch my breath as I leaned back against the steel door, clutching my head as I slid down the ground. The chill of the door was only adding up to my dread as I felt my blood freeze in the sudden bursts of anxiety. Please…to whatever god that may be out there…let her not see me. == "I still don't get why you were so worried that she might see you," Kazuma said as we walked side by side. Suzuki, a member of one of the teams we've defeated before, had asked us to meet him before our final battle begins. We're down to the final team we're supposed to defeat, and that is the team that we're appointed to battle in the first place. Yusuke had come back to fight with us by then, and I suppose we're all ready to face our matches. I admit, we were doing pretty well. "Forget about it, Kazuma," I said. He had been asking me the same thing over and over since that day, but I doubt I'd actually answer his question. I just wished he'd understand. Kazuma and I stopped abruptly at the sight of blonde hair. The man's back was in front of us, as if oblivious of our presence. "Oi, Suzuki!" Suzuki turned back at Kazuma's call, the sudden bolt of recognition spreading through his eyes. "There you are," he said, pacing up in front of us. His hands, that were primarily hidden behind him was presented to us. We were faced with a sword's hilt and a bottle of purple liquid. A frown creased our faces as we stared blankly at Suzuki. He sighed, handing it to us further. "I want you to have these." == I stared down the small bottle that I had received as I walked back to our resting room. I had left Kuwabara behind, since he had said that he would want to try out the sword for himself. These…gifts from Suzuki, were given to me and Kuwabara especially to aid us in our battles. Suzuki had said that he wanted to help, that he would do anything to see the Toguro team defeated. I wasn't sure why, but I left that thought out as I listened closely to what he told us. The sword was the one Wakamaru had used in his battle with Genkai, a sword that uses the owner's ki to provide the blade. This was given to Kuwabara, in aid to his Reiken. As for me, I was given the same substance that was used in my battle with Urashima, the one that made me turn back to my old self. My brows furrowed at the thought. I remembered the feeling of dread that I had felt at that time, as I risked my identity to be known. I remembered the anxiety and fear that I felt to find out that she might be out there, the fear of what she might say. And the fear of the possibility that she has forgotten. And with that in mind, I doubted I'd use that form again. I was only thankful to find out that she hadn't known about it just yet, and I asked the others to refrain from telling it to her. I didn't want her to know. Never would I let her know again. Never will I endanger her again. Much as I had missed her, it's better that she forget. But I doubt that I would accept it coming straight from her. I'd rather have my silence as the Kurama she knows, and not the youkai who had once been her mysterious lover. It was a risk that I had been a fool for taking, a risk that had blinded us both with the dangers it might cause. The unnecessary dangers it might cause. I sighed as I neared our quarters, suddenly feeling weak and miserable. But I knew some things are needed to be sacrificed. I'd be content to watch her from afar. I was only a few steps more before I near our room, but I was stopped by two members of the Toguro team, a man with the dark, ebony hair and dark clothing and a larger one equipped in armor. I banished every thought I had as I caught my breath, a chill suddenly working up on my spine. I am now faced with the man whose battle I had been watching a few days ago. As I recall, this is the same man who had defeated his opponent with only a single touch, inflicting a fatal explosion with the mere flick of his finger. My brows furrowed as I stepped back, eyeing the one in black particularly. "So…you're Kurama," the one in black said, straightening his posture and started to walk towards me. I hid a disdainful grunt as he neared my side, circling around me like a was a statue to be inspected. I stood still, refrained from any sort of movement as to not risk myself getting hurt with whatever assault I might face. "I'll be fighting with you in a couple of days, ne?" he asked, his eyes piecing through my own. "Karasu, hurry it up," the other man said, looking around the vicinity. I remembered, fighters were not allowed to go to their opposing team's quarters unless the fights were over, lest they risk the chance of getting disqualified. The man in armor was met by a scornful grunt. "Just a second, Bui," he said, touching my back up to play with a few locks of my hair. I held my breath at the possible attack, but was merely met by a sly grin. "I'll be looking forward to our battle, Kurama." I followed them with my gaze as they started to walk away, my fists trembling at my side. I tried moving my hands, clenching them in a fist. I watched silently as they disappeared from view, but not before I could catch a glimpse of Karasu raising his right hand. I watched closely as he held his open hand in a fist, all the while dreading what would come in next. The explosion was silent. I winced at the sudden burst of pain on my shoulder, finding it bleeding all of a sudden. I clutched it tightly in my hand as I tried to stop the blood from flowing any further. I shut my eyes and dragged myself to our room, repeatedly fearing the sudden recollection that started to spread in my head. No matter what excuse... I couldn't defeat him in this form. End of chapter 5
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unfinished