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Mask Of Innocence Part 1-5 by Cherrie
part 1	part 2	part 3	part 4	part 5
Part 1
Mask of Innocence Disclaimers: Standard disclaimers apply. Hunter X Hunter is a manga made by the great Yoshiro Togashi who had been my eternal mentor ever since the creation of YYH (yes, from all the brilliant manga authors out there, Togashi-sama will always be the #1 in my list *nod nod*). No money is made in the creation of this fanfic. Warnings: Various lime scattered here and there, and a tad bit of mild lemon (I swore I'll never write another lemon again XP). Most definitely YAOI. Hey, look. Hisoka. Leorio. With two definitely gorgeous bishounen at their sides. What can anybody expect ^_~ Notes: I've decided that I'm not getting enough of these two wonderful pairings, so I decided to create my own fanfic. Please bear with me though, this is my first HxH fic ^_^' And my very first time to admit that a fic with lemon in it is mine o.O Whoo, as they say, there's always a first time for everything. I'm under-aged though, but don't tell *wide grin*. Comments, suggestions and all sort of violent reactions are welcome. - kurapikasama@yahoo.com Chapter 1 - Denial He couldn't believe this. He most definitely could NOT believe this. Here he was, lying in a soft bed with silken sheets that all the more turned him on despite the fact that he couldn't believe what was happening. The bed covers were tangled all over him, wrapping their smoothness against his already sensitive skin. The sleekness of the fabrics did not help his current predicament and just elicited various moans of both pleasure and confusion from the submissive young assassin. Without him knowing it, another low, blissful moan erupted from his throat, much to his dismay. His mind was pounding against his head over and over for the umpteenth time, telling him that this was wrong, that this was not supposed to happen. And not to mention the hell of a beating he's going to get once his family finds out. Not that he had ever been scared of those, but he wouldn't want to waste his time and energy trying to put up with all those whips and things his father would lay on him if ever something happened that was his doing. But all these thoughts were set aside when he felt heated lips cover the base of his throat, the very same lips that had kissed and sucked against his ear and the skin underneath just a minute ago. His eyes closed shut, his mouth opening in a shape that definitely conveyed pleasure, but he still felt uneasy. He didn't think anybody would believe it if ever they were told though. Illumi Zoldick, the infamous cold, emotionless assassin from the legendary family of the Zoldicks, easily under the control of a certain magician's charm and beauty, not to mention those powerful hands that expertly wandered around his almost lithe body, with his consent. Illumi cursed inwardly at that admission. He was with somebody. A MAN for that matter. And of all people, Hisoka. He gritted his teeth at the thought, his eyes glazed and confused when he opened them. All these time, he had tried to wake up from this nightmare, not that it was entirely that. He wouldn't admit it, but both his body and his voice had been betraying him ever since they started. He couldn't remember how he got there really. All he could remember was the playful expression Hisoka had when they first met once again after a long time. The handsome magician was wearing normal clothing for once. He thought that it could be because of the fact that they were in the city, he guessed the man didn't want too much attention for some reason, not that Hisoka was the kind who'd mind attention at all. Their meeting seemed a coincidence well enough. He had gazed appreciatively on the familiar form of the red-haired man before the other finally knew he was there. The magician had his hair down, its flaming red hue set down soft and naturally, framing his pale face beautifully. The trademark face paint was all gone, which only made him more beautiful to look at. Not that the face paint was bad either, he knew from the first time he saw Hisoka that no matter what he wore, he still looked good. He wore a long black coat that clung to his shoulders and slim waist before falling in a beautiful half arch underneath him. It was cold, which may explain the coat, but he swore that the coat looked too beautiful for the redhead that it could even look good on him despite hot weather and not at all ridiculous. A thin white shirt and a pair of plain black pants that clung suggestively on those long legs were what lay underneath that coat, which he later found out after he heard the bolt of a door's lock and the closing hush of dark curtains. Why he even came with Hisoka in his hotel room was beyond him, and his memory. All he could remember was that by the time he had turned back to see what was going on, he had been trapped between the coldness of the room wall and the heat of a well-muscled body and soft lips pressed hard against his own. His first thought was to shove Hisoka away, or to use violence if the damned guy was too strong, which he definitely was. But the next thing he knew, his own hands started to rest lightly on the other man's chest, only to creep up all the way around his neck. And soon after, he found his own hands betraying him as he started pulling on the magician himself, lips and tongues meeting up in the deep oblivion that was their own hunger and passion. He was drowning in this sea of bliss, drunk with every time that he would feel Hisoka's lips sucking on his, dizzy against the sweetness that he never thought the magician could ever own. He was losing his mind. And by the time his mind decided to at least kick in and let him realize what was happening, he was on a soft bed, crushed underneath the weight of a man that rained hundreds of wild kisses on him. He didn't know where this sudden hunger for the mysterious magician came from. Not to mention that he had kept wondering why. He was a member of the Zoldick family, trained to resist any sort of physical pain or need, a person void of any emotion and desire for anything. He doesn't care about anything or anybody unless the family name and fortune comes to mind. But this definitely had nothing to do with family, or money whatsoever. This was pure longing and a physical drive that he would oftentimes curse every time his thought would shift to the red-haired man during his training. And with those thoughts in mind, all the questions left unanswered, he gritted his teeth beneath the kisses that Hisoka planted on him, marking his momentary possession and dominance over the young man. Illumi bit his lower lip to suppress another upcoming moan, but failed heavily when he felt Hisoka rubbing himself against him, an unfamiliar but not at all unknown hardness against his groin. His body arched in pleasure at that wild sensation, an uncontrolled groan escaping him. He turned his face to one side to bury all his heated moaning to the softness of the pillow as he tried to catch his breath. He heard a faint laughter. "What's wrong? Can't take it?" asked a playful voice, which he all knew and detested, yet loved to hear at the same time. Hisoka leaned down against him and brushed a light kiss on the whiteness of his neck, his tongue coming up to brush its tip lightly against the part he had just kissed. "Want me to stop? I can always stop if you just ask me to." Illumi didn't miss the challenge in that teasing voice, and it only caused him to grit his teeth. He could've easily said a cold "yes", which in normal terms would've been an easy thing to do. But after all those kisses, touches, teases...no, this was not a normal situation. He was human; with the heart and mind of a skilled assassin, but human nonetheless. He never had such kind of pleasure when he was young, as young as Killua or Miruki, and wasn't at all aware that such a thing could've existed since he had been trained to be void of any physical feeling, may it be pain or this. "Damn you," was all the young Zoldick could say, his hands clenching on the bed covers as Hisoka bent down to suck on the skin of his left shoulder. He felt the other's hand close in on his, coiling his long fingers into his own. But he did not make a move to take his hand away. Another shrill laugh. "What's that? Did you say something?" he asked, his voice teasing him even more at his own show of compliance. A grin was fixed on Hisoka's face when he finally bent down to let his lips travel down the pale boy's neck, down to his chest. He planted various kisses there as well, all the while trying to ignore the throbbing wanton need that he felt between his legs. The expression this young, and usually expressionless, Zoldick had was priceless, and he was willing to suppress his own desires until Illumi would finally submit to him with his whole will. As for Illumi, he knew he'd be falling down the edge of sanity sooner or later. But still, he tried to hold back all the feelings that Hisoka would expertly elicit from him, wanting to keep his line of thought and pride with his own power and body. But much as he tried to deny it, he knew he'll only drive himself mad if he continued to push him away. If he lost the feel of that body against his, he knew he'd only go insane and yearn for it more and more. He didn't want to admit it, but he knew. He knew he wanted it. He knew he wanted Hisoka. End of chapter 1 A/N: Wow...this lime part went longer than I thought @.@ I was more on planning to put Kurapika and Leorio in the first chapter already. But goodness, to try and shove Illumi the fact that he wanted Hisoka was a hard thing to do o.O Anyway, thank you for those who had the time to read ^_^ This is an attempt on a HxH fanfic, whether or not I'm continuing it depends on the feedback I'll be getting, so...er, there ^_^'
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Part 2
Mask of Innocence Disclaimers: Standard disclaimers apply. Hunter X Hunter is a manga made by the great Yoshiro Togashi. No money is made in the creation of this fanfic. Warnings: The usual YAOI warning ^_^ And Hisoka's hentai-ness warning too XP Hehe, I love this guy! ^.^ Notes: Okay! I came up with the plot already! *heaves very heavy sigh* I knew I won't be able to take writing a plotless lime ^_^' Thank you to those who are reading this, feedbacks are greatly appreciated! =^.^= - kurapikasama@yahoo.com Chapter 2 - To Smile Behind The Lies "Leorio?" It was a familiar voice he painfully knew, and he had it etched and memorized in every corner of his mind that sometimes he swore he could hear him calling his name over and over. In his dreams, he could gaze in those lovely eyes of radiant blue, to let himself drown in their intensity as they looked back at him with an irrefutable sparkle. In dreams, he could touch that smooth, creamy skin, to bask in its heavenly feel as it lay in contact with his body. In dreams, he could smoothen those soft strands of bright blonde hair, to brush it away from masking those magnificent eyes so they can look back at him with a smile glowing from that beautiful, feminine face. "Hey, Leorio." But it was tragic to say that all those things can only happen in his wildest fantasies, for whenever he would try to show at least a glimpse of what he felt to the younger boy, the other would always back away. All those small gestures Kurapika would show him all lead to one simple thing: rejection. Leorio was never the type who would be so patient, and it didn't come out as a surprise when he finally decided to at least show Kurapika what he truly felt, more boldly than he would normally dare to. There were those tiny little moves he would pull, like reaching out to at least be able to hold his hand, the casual comments about how he looks, the almost impossible favors he'd do just to make the other boy smile. All of these were done with nothing but pure longing, and love, and a pledge of eternal slavery if only Kurapika would allow him. But he never did. Every time Leorio would go near him to do something as simple as a mere touch, Kurapika would step away and would put himself in a position wherein the other man wouldn't be able to touch him. He couldn't be so naive as to not know what those things that Leorio do mean, but the other man supposed it was because Kurapika was uncomfortable around those kinds of things. And so he decided to stay away, to just deify his proclaimed god that had been Kurapika from afar. He would do as he did before, without the silly, childish moves to get closer anymore. He would just stay there beside him, to at least get a glimpse of the young boy's presence, to just be able to know that he was all right. That was how he devoted himself to him. And that was how he still was then. "Leorio," this time, Kurapika finally looked over his shoulder to face Leorio, one eyebrow raised in question as he looked at his companion. "Hey, are you there?" Leorio had to shake his head to wake himself up, and to stop his endless self-rants and just will himself to look at the young Kuruta. "Uh, yeah? What is it?" he asked, his own eyebrows rising innocently as he looked at him. Kurapika frowned. "I've been calling for you but you don't seem to respond. Are you all right?" he asked, a concerned look crossing his angelic face as he fully turned to face him. No. I'm right here watching your every move, ready to kiss the ground you walk on, but you go around as if you don't see anything and you ask me if I'm all right?! But Leorio only nodded instead. "Of course I'm all right, why wouldn't I be?" He wondered if Kurapika noticed the lie in that statement. He wondered if the younger boy could sense the hesitation in his voice, wondered if he could feel the pain in every word. Kurapika nodded and all hopes seem to tumble down in front of the doctor yet again. "If you say so," came the polite reply, and he turned ahead once again, turning his back to Leorio and continued to look into the store window. Leorio watched with a sigh as Kurapika started to admire the latest computer models, reading aloud the advantages a Hunter can get if ever he would decide to purchase one. Of course, Leorio knew that Kurapika would never buy such things, he was always the practical one who would be happy enough to just have something that would be of definite use to him. But he did not at all hesitate to admire those that deserved admiring, that was for sure. After Kurapika finished looking around, he nodded to Leorio for them to continue on. Leorio would keep on stealing glances of the blue-eyed boy beside him from time to time, repeatedly asking himself if Kurapika was really that insensitive or was doing a good job hiding his reactions to Leorio's feelings. For whatever reason, it disappointed Leorio to no end, and wondered if self-pity really was pathetic if one would be given the same situation like his. He didn't want to push Kurapika to anything he doesn't want to. But what could be so wrong about asking him to at least let him show him how much he truly cared? * * * * * Hisoka glanced at his companion for what seemed to be the hundredth time, but the young assassin still looked the same. Cold. Emotionless. Very much different from what he would be whenever he was under the spell conjured up by the magician every time they were alone. He smirked, running his tongue slowly on his lips, probing his well-trained senses to catch the sweet taste of the assassin on them. He found it of course, the taste oh so maddeningly sweet and addicting that he would've whimpered if only he didn't catch himself. The memory of just a single kiss caused too much of a pleasure to him that his eyes drifted closed, his mind already drunk from the sheer thought of it. He decided that he wanted to play around with his little lover for a while, to make him want him as much as he wanted him. A small smile graced the magician's lips as he watched Illumi from behind, his eyes roaming appreciatively on that graceful body before he made his move. The weather was somehow colder than usual, and Hisoka made this as a reason to stay closer to his young lover. Long, slender fingers moved from the confines of leather gloves to lock themselves on the thick-clothed arm of Illumi, clutching it to a well-muscled chest beneath layers of clothing. The magician could feel his lover tensing at such a small move, and it all the more intensified how he felt towards the usually blank-eyed Zoldick. Didn't Illumi know that every time he moves away, it only made Hisoka want him more? Apparently not, the magician supposed. He watched Illumi glare at him through ink-black eyes, the arm struggling away despite the tight hold he had locked around it. But Hisoka seem to be stronger, and won their little tug-of-war, earning himself a compliant young man's arm to hold onto while waiting for the light across the street to turn green. He didn't really like waiting, and he would've gladly crossed with no care at all for any other pedestrian or motorist, but having Illumi around made him a thousand-folds more patient and content with everything else. All he wanted was his lover, and his lover alone. The sidewalk was getting crowded, shoulders bumping against shoulders, faces of people scowling and wincing here and there. It wouldn't really matter what they did, nobody would seem to care. And thus thought of, Hisoka's smile grew as he leaned down to nuzzle his nose under his companion's ear, sucking on the soft earlobe before moving behind it to lick the sweet skin, loving the smell of Illumi's skin and hair all together. He felt the younger man shiver beneath his ministrations, but he knew it in himself that stopping was the last thing Illumi wanted him to do. Hisoka could hear Illumi's low hissing as the assassin gritted his teeth, fighting back the urge to groan back and lean towards the magician's embrace. It wasn't difficult to read the younger male's actions, because even if his eyes still kept their cold distance, Hisoka could see the small fire growing somewhere deep inside the ebony darkness, a place most people won't be able to see. He had come to know how Illumi hid himself, and how he still lived up to his family's name, and somehow broke through such barriers to see more inside the young Zoldick. Feeling Illumi's restraint, Hisoka insisted in at least eliciting even just a small response. One hand let go of the other, only to crawl up to Illumi's arm and shoulders, down his chest and under the coat, exploring the well-toned muscles through the thin shirt. Skillful fingers played around the already sensitive skin, even through the clothing, inching lower and lower every time the assassin whimpered. But everything came to an end when Illumi pulled away, his feet moving forward at the first glimpse of the green light. He left Hisoka amongst the crowd, staring at his retreating back, and he moved around the gaps between other people to get to the other end as fast as he could without a second's glance back. But Hisoka didn't mind. He smirked as he watched Illumi's walk away, marveling the grace the boy still had despite the uneasiness he must be feeling by then. He may be cold and an expert assassin, but nevertheless, he's still human. And Hisoka wants him, ever since the beginning. And the assassin wants him back. And that's all the assurance he'll ever need to know to be able to break through the other boy's lies. End of chapter 2 A/N: *blinks* Does this thing make any sense at all?! o.O Sorry for making it a bit pointless on the first two chapters, the story will come in probably in the third chapter. Thank you for reading! ^^
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Part 3
Mask of Innocence Disclaimers: Standard disclaimers apply. Hunter X Hunter is a manga made by the great Yoshiro Togashi. No money is made in the creation of this fanfic. Warnings: The usual YAOI warning ^_^ Hint of OOCness on some characters, ehe, forgive me ^_^' Notes: If this doesn't show that this is some sort of angsty romance story, I don't know what will. Comments are greatly appreciated! - kurapikasama@yahoo.com Chapter 3 - Do you see me...? The light in the small cafe was fairly dim, giving the place an elegant feel to it. The black marble surfaces of the tables, black leather and metal chairs even enhanced the atmosphere even more. The door continuously opens and closes as customers walk in and out of it, indicating a well-run business. Waiters stood in different places, waiting for a call, greeting newcomers and bidding those who go out a polite goodbye. The sweet, strong aroma of caffeine lingered in the cold air-conditioned place, with the busy rustle and bustle made by the waiters and the customers. Leorio fingered the small fork in his hand, playing with the remaining whipped cream that laid in the small platter in front of him, swirling them around. The small tinkling sound of silverware against glass echoed in his ear, but nevertheless, he wasn't really listening to it. It just seemed to pass through his ear, through his empty mind and out the other ear. Like the way his companion's words seem to just ring around his head, without him understanding even just one word of it. On another other side of the table, Kurapika shifted his eyes from the speaker, Killua, to a certain, usually talkative doctor that sat on a seat next to his. The table was a black, marble square, one seat on each side. Technically, he wasn't beside anybody, but it can be considered that somehow. "...so then Miruki called and told me that Illumi's running around himself as well. They don't know where, but it seems as though Karuto saw him in some hotel a few cities from here and..." The younger boy's words also died down from the Kuruta's senses, his gaze mainly focused on the doctor. Blue eyes turned worried when the older man didn't even give him a sign that he noticed him looking, even if Kurapika was fairly sure that he was being obvious. His gaze momentarily shifted to Killua and Gon, checking if the two were all right. Killua was still talking, his words focused on Gon mainly instead of the three of them. He didn't mind though, he and Leorio have always known that Killua was much closer to Gon than anybody else, so it wasn't a surprise that he finds a more suitable person to talk to whenever they're together. As for Gon, he was listening at Killua's story attentively, sipping his juice from time to time, but his eyes never left the light-haired boy. Assured that Killua and Gon weren't looking, long, slender fingers reach up to tap the other man's arm once. The other's eyes widened behind dark, round glasses, immediately looking at him with a look that the blue-eyed boy can't exactly decipher. Concerned eyebrows furrowed into a frown, his head tilting to one side in a silent question. Are you all right? Those were the words that Leorio found in the other's eyes, a pure look of a slightly calm alarm. He's worried for me, he thought, judging from how the young Kuruta looked at him. He tried to speak, to tell him that he was fine, but something trembled and knocked inside of him, asking him the very same question. A question for the answer of "I'm fine" that he was just about to say. Am I? The question bothered him, making him silent still. He looked into the eyes of the boy slightly across from him, gazing into their deep blue depths, searching for an answer. What would he say? Could he tell him how he was feeling? How much he wanted him, adored him, loved him? How much it hurts to look at him and only see friendship reflected in his eyes with the way he looks at him, to tell him how much it hurt to smile for him when all he wanted to do was cry everything out? Will he be able to stop pretending not to see the look of obvious rejection in his beautiful face? Will he keep on masking everything out because he was too afraid to lose him? Dark brown eyes finally looked away, shifting their attention to a fairly tall palm plant just beside their table. To all the questions he just asked himself a few seconds ago, the answers were all but a simple yet painful word: No. Kurapika didn't miss the look of longing in Leorio's eyes, but like he had always done, he pretended he didn't see it. Like always, he acted as if he was just a friend, somebody who'd look at the doctor in friendly terms but not as something more. But it wasn't because he didn't want to. It was because he can't. "Hey!" Killua's voice sounded, breaking the moment, breaking the silence that had befallen their already silent conversation. But the silence was a different kind of silence. Just a while ago, they were talking, mentally. They seem to do that quite often actually, to only have the need to look into the other's eyes and immediately know what the other wants. They were that close, and both knew it. But the silence that had just befallen them through the other one was different, colder, painful. It was the silence they get into because they were afraid to look anymore, and they'll stop "talking" because the unspoken words are getting far too intimate. Far too undeniably clear, yet always denied and ignored. Both pairs of eyes moved to look at the owner of the voice, one trying to catch the other's gaze while the other fought to avoid it. Kurapika tried to ignore the pain that suddenly crossed him then, dismissing the momentary ache, convincing himself that it was nothing. But he knew it wasn't nothing. This was Leorio. The only one who can own his attention far more than anybody had owned it. He was the one who would always look at him, and smile when he looks back. He will always be there, no matter what the Kuruta did. He was always hoping, yet expecting nothing despite the many favors he had done. Was he looking for something now? Was he starting to ask for his part of their so-called "friendship"? Or was it really called that? As far as he could remember, Leorio had done him more favors and pardons than what can be expected out of anybody. But what has he done for the other? None. Only the right to look at him whenever he wants to, to look into his eyes with more than the usual look without getting punched square on the face. But was that fair? Was that what he was supposed to do? No. But nevertheless, he does it. Killua blinked up at the two. "Are you two even listening to what I was saying?" he asked. He rolled his eyes when both looked down in what looked like a gesture of apology that says "No, we didn't listen because we were staring off into space like a bunch of idiots". The young boy sighed and repeated his words from a while ago. "I was trying to ask you all if it's okay if we stay at my family's house for a while. Miruki said that it was the only other way my father could have me and Illumi back with them. Something about the idea of killing you guys and Illumi's supposed companion instead as a bad thought even to just think about," he said, shrugging. Gon piped in. "Can we? Please? If we're allowed, I don't think it would be so bad. And even if they are trying to do something to us, they would've done it straight away instead of making us go in circles, right Killua?" Killua nodded. "That's right. So what do you say?" he asked the other two. Leorio, who was still in his best-friend-ignoring spree, looked at Killua and shrugged. He grinned, his momentary silence, self-hatred and regret hidden yet again in his trademark mask. A smile. "Could be fun," he said. "And what the heck, we're stronger than last time now, eh Gon?" Gon grinned back and nodded. "Of course!" He then looked at Killua. "Last time, we were told you were able to open three doors. Let's see who opens the most doors this time!" he said, giving Leorio and Kurapika a challenging look as well. Killua nodded enthusiastically, giving Gon back the look of challenge. Kurapika only smiled, a smile directed at Gon and Killua yet a smile that wished to reach the remaining member of their group as well. Again, he looked at the other. And again, he was ignored. And this time, when the cold pain came, he welcomed it. Because he knew he deserved it. He deserved it, because this kind of pain may not even be half of what he had caused the other. But still... I never really was worth being special to someone like you. Of course it hurts, but what hurts the most is that I can't tell you why. I'm afraid you wouldn't understand. I'm afraid to tell you because you might move away. I'm afraid to lose you. But isn't that what it seems to be now? Or am I just hoping that you'll get over it and this anger will pass, leaving you with me without anything else to worry about? I don't want to risk it, but I wouldn't want to lose you this way either. I don't know what to do. I'm weak, helpless against these things. I get depressed too easily, to the point that the depression becomes obsession, and obsession becomes madness. And every time it happens, I always run to you for comfort even if I make it show as if I do it by myself. I look for you whenever I fall. Can't you feel it? Can't you see it? Don't leave me now. I know I can be quite selfish, but if you're planning to punish me, not now. Please, not now. Not this way... * * * * * "An invitation then?" Illumi nodded. He had just told Hisoka about what his younger brother, Miruki, had called to him over the phone for. Just a while ago, the young boy called him through his cellphone, asking him if he even had plans of coming back. It was tempting to say a straight "no", but he knew that wouldn't be much of a good idea. So all he said was that he wasn't sure. When the younger boy pushed him further with his barrage of accusing questions, accusations that had a slight bit of truth in them, he finally confessed. He didn't want to go home. Why? He didn't know. Sure, he was always ordered around by his elders to do them more favors than how much they give his other siblings, but that never really bothered him before. Usually, he'll only nod his head without even a sign of resentment against his father, mother or grandfathers. He was trained to be that way. He was made to be a master of his opponents, the god of his victims, yet a slave to those more powerful than he was. But what caused him to change? Why had he suddenly turned childish, to a boy like Killua, who only does what he wants and disobeys orders when told? Why had he suddenly had the thirst to be free, to do as he desires without having to be pushed around and punished for disobeying? Why did he suddenly want to stay with another person, to always be where this other man was, even to the point of leaving the family all in all because he was driven by an alien feeling of loss if ever he'd even try to move away? Illumi Zoldick was not like that. Illumi never neglected his duties, Illumi is always cold, aloof, bound to his parents' commands, abiding always to the rules. He never did go against the family, he never turns his back even if he was all but a simple member of the assassin group when his much younger brother will be the next heir. Illumi never cared, Illumi never felt anything, absolutely nothing. Nothing could ever go through his thick shield of dangerous ice that keeps him to be what he was supposed to be, to keep him from the world that might change him into something his family wouldn't want for him. But were these questions really that hard to answer? He knows fully well what the answers will be, just by looking up to look into the eyes of the man who, as his conscience accused, changed him. But that was why he didn't want to look. He was afraid to face the truth, because he still wanted to believe that he was still the same Illumi he knew, that his family knew. He didn't want to admit that he started to want something he wasn't supposed to, and he wouldn't admit that he's starting to drift away. He didn't want to go any further because if he did, life would be so complex. He never really liked it, life. How could he? He was an assassin. He takes life away. What was it like to be like him, one might ask? Empty. He's made to kill, made to obey. He has no right to live the way others do, because he wasn't like everybody else. But that was what he had thought before. That was when he accepted his fate, his destiny, to be a full-pledged killing machine with eyes that say absolutely nothing to the world. But that phone call from Miruki just confirmed his fears. He changed. Hisoka noticed his companion's silence. Not that the younger boy hasn't always been silent, he just knew that something was unbearably wrong. He smirked, finally living to see how Illumi Zoldick handle inner conflicts. He had always thought if it was even possible for the young man to even feel anything, but overtime, while they were together for the past few days, he found what he wanted to see in more ways than one. And he was gravely amused. But then, that was the sadistic side in him talking. His little "experiment" with the eldest of the Zoldick siblings was complete. He was just curious at first really, all but trying to see if he'll get a result. But in due time, not only had he learned something about the other man, he also found something in himself. The part long hidden, the part he thought was lost, or had never been there to begin with. But that was when he discovered how it was to look for somebody again, to yearn and search for a kind of intimacy, a kind of physical contact if one would allow him to call it that. No amount of magic or power could ever give him the satisfaction he wanted from time to time. And that part was awakened by Illumi, and now that he thought that everything was over, now that he thought things will end just when Illumi admitted it to himself that he was capable of being someone opposed to what was required of him, he was unable to go. A stupid thing to happen, but unconsciously, he fell into his own trap. And now he couldn't leave. End of chapter 3
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Part 4
Mask of Innocence Disclaimers: Hunter X Hunter is still Togashi-sama's, nothing except the plot and writing is mine. No money is made in the making of this fanfic. Notes: I'm going to start tackling different points in various HxH characters from now on. I like tampering with the minds and personas of often overlooked characters, so bear with me now, okay? =^.^= Chapter 4 - Home "Master Killua." A man, about in his mid-30's and wearing the custom uniform of an elegant tuxedo and a regal posture, greeted them upon entering. Right after their meeting in that cafe, they've set off to go to Killua's house almost immediately. Gon was ecstatic, being able to step foot inside the Zoldick territory again, this time by Killua's side. Unlike their previous visit, he had no worries, because he trusted his friend enough to believe that he will be safe. He had also mentioned something about meeting Kanaria again. Leorio marveled at how much faith the boy can give the other one. As he remembered, the last time they visited, they've encountered a lot of hardships, remembering how difficult it was just to even step foot in the said place. But in the whole duration of that little adventure, Gon had his mind set on meeting Killua, thus making him almost a bit too stubborn then, even if he was badly beaten by the various challenges the Zoldick territory has in store. He supposed that the two kids have had a great bond ever since the Hunter Exam, and it couldn't help but make him smile just by seeing it. Ever since they boarded the train, Gon and Killua have been arguing about who will be able to open the most doors. Each of them has his own challenge to tell, his own little friendly insult to further set his "opponents" off. But upon arrival, the argument was finally over. By the time they've learned the concept of nen, strength was never again an issue for them. Gon and Leorio opened five doors, while both Killua and Kurapika opened four. Although settled, Killua still vehemently went against the result, saying that Gon had cheated because of various reasons that were too twisted and confusing to be repeated. But nevertheless, they finally resolved their little fight and had walked through the main door arm in arm, though still insulting each other. The doctor watched all this with what seemed like a painful smile. Sure, he was happy for the two, but he couldn't help but feel a slight bit of jealousy with them. It was just that those two best friends were so at ease with the other, so comfortable, and know fully well that they have the right to annoy the other in any way they could just because they trust each other enough to know their limits. It was inevitable that he glanced at the fourth member of their little group, taking a glimpse of that beautiful face. The same boy was supposed to be his best friend. At first, it was like that really, they were always together, always talking, even laughing together. But in due time, being the idiot that he was, he fell for the young man without even noticing it. And take note, young man. Heaven knows that he's not the type to notice his same gender, if asked actually, he was supposedly someone who runs around women like a pompous pervert. But then again, those women he would run after would be categorized in all but one group. They were the ones he had no intention to get serious with, almost as if chasing women was a joke to him, a past time. But was his little I-fell-for-you spree with Kurapika the same? It couldn't be. Because if so, why is it that all he wanted was to just be there for him, unlike the girls whom he just wanted to go out with? Why is it that with Kurapika, he would be happy enough to just make him smile, or to just let him know that he's a friend who does not expect more than what Kurapika could give? Sometimes, he even wondered if this shunning that Kurapika was giving him was a punishment from the gods. Not that Kurapika's doing the shunning this time. As far as he was concerned, he has been avoiding long conversations with Kurapika ever since they stepped out of the ship. He didn't know why really, but for some reason, he couldn't stand being with him for more than three minutes. It wasn't because Kurapika's starting to get on his nerves, in fact, it was the other way around. He himself was getting on his own nerves. He couldn't concentrate properly with the other around, nor could he think straight. But for whatever reason, he didn't know still. Was it because it was getting too painful? "Master Leorio? Master Kurapika? Your rooms will be in the other hallway, please follow me." Oh great. Why is that wherever they go, his room is always close to Kurapika's, if not at all shared? Does fate really hate him so much to make him go through similar bouts of torture over and over? Sure, the one during the Hunter Exam was his own choice, but that was different. Leorio felt Kurapika's eyes on him, feeling the worry and anxiety even without looking. Honestly, it was tempting to turn around, to tell him that everything was okay and that he was just in a foul mood. But then again, if he sees that innocent smile again and sees the look of nothing but friendship in his eyes and the look of rejection in him if ever he would even dare to search for any sign of consent, he'll lose it. And so, without even as much as a turn to acknowledge him, Leorio nodded to the servant to tell him that he'll be following him. They went in silence, the doctor trailing behind the servant while Kurapika stayed a bit farther. He thought he heard him sigh behind him before he finally settled his eyes on something else, probably the paintings that lined the walls. A part of Leorio wanted to get angry at him, to cry out in front of his face that he was being an insensitive jerk, but another part of him screamed at himself, telling him that it's his fault. Whose fault was it really anyway? They finally arrived in the first room. The guy said that it was going to be Leorio's, and that he can settle his things there if he wants to. Leorio nodded and thanked him, slowly entering the grand guestroom, but still too preoccupied to appreciate the size and the richness of it. He was about to turn around and close the door when his eyes suddenly met with Kurapika's, with still the familiar sign of worry, hidden in a look that was supposed to be a smile. Kurapika spoke. "See you." Leorio was silent. And closed the door. He fell into a heap on the bed, for it was all he could do to protect himself lest he started hitting his head on a nearby wall for acting so badly. He decided that it was not Kurapika's fault. In fact, he was the victim here. He himself was the insensitive one who claims that he does not expect anything out of this whole mess but still feels disappointed when he actually gets what he expected: nothing. But then again, another minus point for him for saying that Kurapika was doing nothing. Because as far as he was concerned, Kurapika was one of the best friends he ever had in his life, together with his late one and Gon and Killua. The guy deserved an apology. He could only wish he'll be brave enough to actually pull it through. * * * * * "Is it even possible to reach a dead end in this place?!" Illumi sighed and glanced back at his companion, who has been talking endlessly about how big and irritating the mansion was. The semi-dark, royal blue marble walls of the hallway did seem endless, and Hisoka also pointed out that their family had most probably stolen every piece of painting the world has to offer with their countless numbers. "I wouldn't be caught dead living in this place. It would be good for a vacation spot, but to memorize this whole place is nearly impossible. I don't know how you weirdoes do it, but as far as I'm concerned, just being able to reach one end when you came from the other is utterly ridiculous." Illumi rolled his eyes at the endless barrage of insults Hisoka was giving his house. Not that it really bothered him. It was just that there could be times that Hisoka would be so talkative. The magician would defend himself against it though, saying that Illumi was just saying that because the young assassin was just as talkative as a dead fish. "Are you sure they fully intended to welcome me here? Looks like they're trying to make me dizzy or insane or--" "Hisoka?" "Yes?" "Shut up." A second of silence passed them both, but quickly ended when Hisoka stepped in place to walk beside Illumi. "Well it is annoying. Try asking a newcomer if you don't believe me. But then again, you people really don't accept visitors, do you?" Illumi acknowledged the magician with all but a simple glance, before setting his eyes ahead again. He thought he heard Hisoka snort irately beside him, but he supposed he was used to the other man's constant ease in getting pissed off about something. In fact, he was used to a lot of Hisoka's habits. His habit of eating only what he wants and when he wants to, his constant killing sprees, even the guy's strong libido that seems to grow more and more stronger whenever they're in crowded places wherein any sexual activity would be limited. This certain habit would always have him end up in dark alleys and remote places just so the magician would satisfy his absurd interest in breaking the rules and not getting caught. This last thought caused a small blush to creep up his cheeks. He had to shut his eyes and look away to keep these thoughts off, cursing himself for being careless enough to let them sink in. Or was it just because he was just spending too much time with this hentai beside him? Hisoka seem to have seen the blush in the young assassin's face. This made him grin, a slightly diabolical one to add to that. Slender fingers slithered their way to the younger man's own, fighting against its momentary struggle beneath his ministrations. Of course, Hisoka had expected that glare that made his way towards him, but that wasn't enough to make him stop. Unfortunately, there was one thing. "Master Illumi?" One thing Hisoka had learned, it was to never show any sign of affection in public whenever he's with Illumi. Sure, the boy can be quite submissive sometimes, but when he doesn't get what he wants when he's serious, it can be a real hell. Of course, that only increased the fun, but nevertheless, he didn't want to make his lover angry lest he really intends to be kicked out the next time he tries something that may ruin the young Zoldick. Illumi gave him a warning glare before he nodded to the servant. Hisoka just shrugged, watching Illumi appreciatively behind his back before he followed him in one of the most glorious dining rooms he had ever come across in his life. But as soon as he laid eyes on the room, he caught sight of four familiar figures just seated on the long table, busy in their own talks. Another grin. Well, guess this'll be more fun than he thought. End of chapter 4
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Part 5
Mask of Innocence Disclaimers: Standard disclaimers apply. Hunter X Hunter is a manga made by the great Yoshihiro Togashi who had been my eternal mentor ever since the creation of YYH (yes, from all the brilliant manga authors out there, Togashi-sama will always be the #1 in my list *nod nod*). No money is made in the creation of this fanfic. Notes: Hm...I've been updating this fic far more than I update the others...wonder why ^_^' Anyway...er, ehehe, nothing much, I'm trying to keep all the characters in character these days because I seem to be getting the impression that they're not o.O Tell me if they're going off their railroads, okay? =^.^= Chapter 5 - To Meet Again "Gaaah!!! What are YOU doing here?!" Killua's voice screeched through the dining hall, wide, cat-like eyes that resembled very much like his brother's own widened in evident shock. Thin brows furrowed into a glare, shooting the smug magician from across the table. However, Killua was left ignored as the older man sat himself beside his brother, one hand with long, slender fingers coming up to take hold of Illumi's arm while he leaned closer. Too close for comfort in both Killua and Illumi's part. "My my, isn't that a very rude welcome?" asked Hisoka, who shifted his menacing gaze towards the younger Zoldick. His smirk turned into a more satisfied one when all Killua did was glare at him. He continued, "As far as I can remember, I was invited, wasn't I, Illumi-kun?" Gon, who sat beside Killua, looked up at his friend, who has already frozen in his place as he crouched on his chair. Killua indeed was too surprised to speak, only giving Illumi a doubtful glance, most probably searching for a sign of affirmation. Much as he didn't like looking or speaking or doing anything with his older brother, to have Hisoka beside him on the dinner table was just plain--strange. And unbelievable. Illumi gave the grinning magician a sidelong glare, pale lips forming a firm line. "Stop it, Hisoka," he warned, his voice trickling with venom. He may not be much of what others would call "caring" or "considerate"', but he is known for his protectiveness among his younger siblings. Hisoka settled that it must be because he was the eldest, but nevertheless, it was interesting seeing him like that. Though his concern for his brother was hidden beneath cold eyes, it was plainly obvious how much Killua meant to Illumi. He had often wondered about that, Illumi's relationship with Killua. Killua being the next heir is, as Hisoka sees it, a bit too disrespectful for Illumi's part in the family. For one thing, being the eldest, Hisoka had expected Illumi to at least fight for his right as the heir. But then again, who was he to say anything? Hell knows nobody understands how these people's minds work, so he decided that he should just leave Illumi be. After all, Illumi gets more free time that way. He thought it over. Yes, he definitely enjoys it more if Illumi's not too busy. That way, he can be busy with some other things that doesn't exactly pertain to family matters. Namely, him maybe? As for Illumi, he wasn't an idiot not to notice the way Hisoka was looking at him now, and how the magician's hand was trailing a bit too distractingly on his thigh. He cast him yet another glare. He earned himself a grin, but somehow had gotten rid of that impish hand away from himself, so he supposed it wasn't that bad. He'll have to talk to Hisoka about doing his moves when they're in his family's property though. "Aniki?" Killua's voice again ended Illumi's little staring game with Hisoka, as ink black eyes shifted their gaze from the magician's to the young, white-haired boy from across the table. High, slender brows rose in a look of question, asking Killua to go on with what he was supposed to say. The young boy looked away, still having a hard time looking into his brother's soulless eyes. He didn't know why, but nice as Illumi was to him, he just found him utterly scary. Or maybe it was because he was nice when every once in a while, the young boy would see his brother kill so mercilessly. Maybe the concept of a kind assassin was a bit too strange for him. And now, looking at Hisoka, his view of his brother was getting weirder by the minute. "Anou," he started, eyes cast down to watch his fingers play around with the table cloth. He couldn't find the right words, so instead, he shut his eyes and blurted out, "Have you gone nuts or has this clown put you in some sort of spell!?" Silence reigned through the whole table. The servants that stood on the corners of the room tried not to show any sign of shock or emotion at Killua's little outburst, heads still while eyes roamed to look at their other master. Illumi though, was just still, blinking up at his younger brother with a confused look on his face. That is, if you call his expression confused. He still wore his icy gaze, but nevertheless, there was a hint of surprised in those cold black eyes. But what everyone didn't expect was what came next. Hisoka, from beside Illumi, burst out laughing. Illumi snapped out of his daze and glanced at Hisoka, giving him a questioning look. Hisoka, on his part, only regarded Illumi with a look, but still kept on laughing. Killua was in the verge of exploding. "What's so funny, you twisted psycho!?" he asked enraged. He would've pounced off his chair if not for Gon's hand that came up to grab his back shirt to settle him down. "Thanks, Gon-chan!" bade Hisoka, which only earned him yet another glare from the white-haired Zoldick. The magician shook his head, trying to stifle his laughter. He cleared his throat, then looked at Killua. "You should learn some manners, boy," he said, giving Killua a menacing look before turning to Illumi. "Aren't you going to defend me from your mean brother?" he asked playfully, leaning over yet again to look at Illumi, his finger clasping the younger man's sleeves. Killua was about to snap at Hisoka again but was stopped by his brother's voice. "Killua, Hisoka is my guest, so I expect you to respect him the way I'm respecting yours," Illumi said, his body characteristically still as he looked up at his anxious brother with nothing more than a blank look, nodding towards Gon, Leorio and Kurapika's directions to indicate the meaning in his statement. Killua just stared. "But--" "Killua." The young Zoldick frowned, the stern tone of his brother causing him to quiet down. Though still not fully convinced, he nonetheless went back to his seat with a stubborn pout, still glaring at Hisoka. Hisoka though, just grinned at him as if nothing had happened. "Ah! Oniisan! Killua! It's nice to see both home," came a voice from the other end of the table. Sure enough, the huge frame that was Miruki emerged from the doors as he pulled a seat beside Hisoka, nodding once to the magician to acknowledge his presence. He then turned to Illumi. "So, what's this about you not wanting to go home? Getting influenced by our baby brother, I suppose?" Killua snorted, still avoiding Illumi, Hisoka and Miruki's gazes. As for Illumi, he merely looked at Miruki, his lips closed and silent. Hisoka though, decided to speak. "Killua-kun has nothing to do with this, I assure you. Illumi's just getting bored," he said, as if it was the most common thing to say inside the premises that was the Zoldick mansion, wherein even the slightest mistake of the tongue can lead to an unspeakable amount of torture. Hisoka knew all these of course, but he still went on anyway. "Maybe he found something else to take his interest on." Miruki, who didn't see the sharp glare Illumi was casting Hisoka, nor the shaking hand that was clasped against the magician's own under the table, merely looked at Hisoka, quite intrigued. "Really? And what may that be, dear brother?" he asked playfully, looking at Illumi this time. Illumi shifted his gaze from Hisoka to Miruki. "It's nothing, Miruki. Take your seat," he said simply, nodding at the seat beside Hisoka that was already pulled back. Miruki just shrugged, obeying. Hisoka smirked, his thumb stroking Illumi's from underneath the table. Whether he intended it as something thoughtful or playful, even he himself didn't know. He checked the table occupants to see if they were looking, and when satisfied that they weren't, he pulled Illumi closer. He leaned himself in, his lips close to Illumi's ear. "You're too uptight, koi, loosen up." Illumi jerked away slightly, putting at least a decent amount of inches between himself and the magician. Whether he reacted because of the way Hisoka had addressed him or how his heated breathe felt like in his ear, he didn't know. But still, it earned the magician an uneasy glare from the assassin. "Shut up, Hisoka." Hisoka shook his head, quite amused. He moved away, but still retained his hand as his grip tightened on the young assassin's. He didn't miss the look Killua was giving him of course, and good-naturedly, or playfully, whichever way one would put it, he grinned at the young boy and held up a peace sign. End of Chapter 5
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unfinished