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Gundam Diaries
Part 1-5

by Makoto Sagara
part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5
Part 1
Title: Gundam Diaries: Part 1 ~ Duo

Author: Makoto Sagara

Pairings: 2+1, 3x4, 5+2

Warnings: Language, violence, silliness, angst, confuzzlement

Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing, I only wish I did. It belongs to Sunrise, Bandai, and a bunch of other companies. I don't own the words to any of the Papa Roach songs that were used in this part. They belong to them, and I don't own them either. I made ABSOLUTELY no money writing this, because no one is nice enough to do that. (*big smile*)

Symbol explanation: ~ blah ~ Song lyrics

+ Blah + Pre-chorus of song

* Blah * Chorus of song

March 29th, AC 195…. 20:00:00

Today was interesting, and it may be my last. No fighting was needed. All five of us Gundam pilots were settled into the safe house, one of Quatre's "smaller" houses. Only Q would think this house was small; 5 bedrooms, pool, gym, study, dining room, 4 bathrooms, huge state-of-the-art kitchen, music room, parlor, T.V. room, and an underground hanger big enough to hide 5 huge Gundams. Geez, someone should really teach him about scale.

Anyway, breakfast was good. Thank God that Trowa cooked. I don't think I could stomach rice that early in the day again this week. Hee-chan and 'Fei have had too much free rein in the kitchen lately. I can still taste those strawberry pancakes. You know, if Q-man and Trowa weren't a settled thing, I'd propose to Trowa, just for the food.

After breakfast, I had to find something to do. Quatre went to the music room, 'Fei went outside to practice his Tai chi, Trowa went to the gym, and Hee-chan, no surprise in this, locked himself in the study with his damned laptop.

Fuck, I was bored. Nothing good was on T.V. I'd read all my manga a gazillion times. No way in hell was I bugging "Mr. Perfect Soldier." Last time, I had to have my leg reset. Eh, I'm not really the musical type, unless you count singing along with my entire favorite vintage CDs. And well, Wufei would probably kill me if I bugged him while he was doing his stances. The pool it was.

That's the best thing about being on Earth. All this available water. On L2, there wasn't enough water to even bathe in, let alone sit in a hole in the ground and play in at your own leisure. If you found water, you had to take advantage, or someone else would come and steal it. I never really had a proper bath until I met Dr. G.

After an hour of laps, I stopped swimming, and hugged the side of the pool. Fei was still at it. Damn, he's got discipline, and a nice body to boot. Despite the cold temperature of the water, I was getting a hard-on.

I never thought too much about shagging "Justice Boy." The one who gave me wet dreams was the Perfect Bodied Soldier. All he had to do to get me hard was walk into the same room as me. Every time we stay at one of Q's estates, I make sure that I room with Heero, or get a room next to his. Call it what you will, I want him.

I was broken from my reverie by a sharp call of "MAXWELL! Stop staring at me!" Oops, I guess I had been staring for a long time.

I climbed out of the pool, avoiding facing the same direction as Wufei. I walked back into the house, slowly, and added an extra sway to my hips for his benefit. I knew he would watch me until I was inside. Sure enough, he stood there still looking at the house, confused. I waved, and he blushed. I turned back, and ran to my room for a shower and a quick change.

Just vegging out in front of the T.V. proved to be beneficial for my favorite thing to do, Heero dreaming. It only lasted a while, before Quatre came out and joined me, followed by Trowa, not too long later. They started whispering, and Q-man was giggling. Cute, but annoying, so I left.

Heero's fingers could be heard traveling lightning fast over the keys of his laptop. I opened the study door, and sure enough, there he was, typing away madly. His face was a cold mask, but his eyes were glowing with an unnatural glow.

"Hee-chan?"

"Hn, baka."

"Whatcha doin?" I inquired sweetly.

"Work."

"What kinda work?"

"Baka, go away, or Omae o korosu."

Figures. I sulked into the underground hanger. Ah, there's my baby, Deathscythe Hell, aka Shinigami. So beautiful, she's never mean to me. I take better care of her that I do of myself. There are only two things that I love as much, my braid and Hee-chan.

I jumped into her cockpit, and checked her vitals. She was in tip-top shape, but I already knew that. I popped a CD into her drive, and sat back to listen.

~ Cut my life into pieces,

This is my last resort.

Suffocation, no breathing.

Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding. ~

Ah…Papa Roach, there's something I haven't heard in a while. I punched in the button to skip tracks to number five. It's called Blood Brothers. Maybe I should play this for the others one day. Hell, I should play it on my external speakers during the next battle. I put it on repeat, and sat back again, letting the words rush over me.

~Watch your back because the next man is comin'

And you don't know if the next man is dumbin'

Survival of the fittest what it is

I got yo back, you got my back, and that's the biz

Blood rushing to through my veins

I got the power, channel the energy

And with my strength I will devour

Sickening thoughts are running through my head

That's when I realize I'm glad I'm not dead

+Corruption and abuse, the salesman of our blood

For the public's craving, existence in the dark+

*It's in our nature to destroy ourselves

It's in our nature to kill ourselves

It's in our nature to kill each other

It's in our nature to kill, kill, kill*

It was a dream and then it hit me, really struck

And now my life is all shifty and it all moves fast

Close to buck 50 and we all stand strong

In respect to the family in times of our insanity

And through the words of profanity

I describe our dysfunctional family

Blood brothers keep it real to the end

Deeper that the thoughts that you think, not a trend

+Corruption and abuse, the salesman of our blood

For the public's craving, existence in the dark+

*It's in our nature to destroy ourselves

It's in our nature to kill ourselves

It's in our nature to kill each other

It's in our nature to kill, kill, kill*

+Corruption and abuse, the salesman of our blood

For the public's craving, existence in the dark+

*It's in our nature to destroy ourselves

It's in our nature to kill ourselves

It's in our nature to kill each other

It's in our nature to kill, kill, kill* ~

That song makes me think of Heero. So with that song on repeat and Hee-chan on the brain, I blanked. I must have fallen asleep because later, the music was cut off, which slowly woke me up.

"Baka, OZ probably heard that. Get up. Quatre cooked dinner."

Thinking I was having a very real dream, I slipped my arms around the standing form of my god-like blue-eyed, tousled brown hair infatuation, and then I kissed him. "Hee-chan, you worry too much, even in my dreams."

The first thought that ran through my mind was pain, because he had punched me in the stomach. OH SHIT! I wasn't dreaming, and I had just kissed him. I jumped out of the pilot's chair, ran pass Heero, through the hanger, and through the house. I didn't stop until I had reached my room.

Diary, I think Heero's gonna kill me. This maybe the last thing I write. If so, Sayonara. If not, I'll tell you how it went.

~ Duo Maxwell.
-top-
Part 2
Title: Gundam Diaries: Part 2 ~ Wufei

Author: Makoto Sagara

Pairings: 2+1, 3x4, 5+2

Warnings: Language, violence, angst, confuzzlement

Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing, I only wish I did. It belongs to Sunrise, Bandai, and a bunch of other companies. I don't own the words to the Dave Matthews Band songs used in this part. They belong to Dave Matthews. But I sure wish I could write like him. I got ABSOLUTELY no money for writing this. No one is nice enough to do that (*big smile*)

Symbol explanation: ~ blah ~ Song lyrics

+ Blah + Pre-chorus of song

* Blah * Chorus of song

March 28th, AC 195…. 20:00:00

Ok, today got too hard to bear. I think that annoying American takes pleasure in torturing me, even if it is a subconscious pleasure. I want to know why he persists in doing these things to me.

Breakfast started the torture. Trowa cooked Duo's favorite food, strawberry pancakes. I must admit that I have grown to like them, mainly because when Trowa cooks, everything is good. Duo walked in the kitchen still in his pajamas, or should I say his boxers and an overly large t-shirt. He was rubbing the sleep from his eyes, and sat down, gracefully somehow, in a chair.

It doesn't matter where we are staying; Duo always seems to sit in the chair that is closest to the refrigerator at breakfast.

This time we were staying at one of Winner's smaller mansions. I call it a mansion, but I'm afraid that Quatre would call it a small house. This house was big enough to hold two families very comfortably, at least on L5. It had five bedrooms, a study, a huge kitchen, dining room to fit 12 people, music room, gym, a swimming pool, a huge T.V. room, a parlor, 4 bathrooms, and an underground hanger large enough to hold all five of our Gundams.

The time spent eating was comfortable enough. I noticed that Maxwell was staring at Yuy, but that has not surprised anyone. It has just somehow made me feeling very unkindly towards Yuy, for he shows no signs of reciprocating Duo's affection. Duo chattered away with Winner about some movie that they had watched the night before. Trowa sat quietly, eating and watching the blond Arab. Yuy was eating silently, with a harsh look on his face. I just sat and watched the whole scene, amused at the spirit in Maxwell and Winner over pure dribble.

Then, I noticed some syrup on Duo's lips. I made a signal with my napkin that I had noticed it. "Thanks, 'Fei." He replied, and then stuck out an exquisite pink tongue to lick it off. The sight of that went straight to my groin.

I decided that right then I was finished. I excused myself and went upstairs to change. I had to do something with myself. I would not let my hormones control my actions. I changed quickly into my pants and a blue tank top, and headed outside to release all the sexual tension I was feeling at that moment.

As I passed through the house, I heard Quatre in the music room with his violin. Sounds of a trampoline could be heard as I passed the gym, so that meant that Trowa was in there. Tapping was heard from the study. Yuy. Then I saw a long chestnut braid hanging over the edge of the couch of the open T.V. room.

I considered going in there to sit and see what Maxwell was watching on the blaring television, but all the blood rushed back to my groin at that time. I could not risk being less than honorable, so I walked swiftly outside to the big back yard, pass the pool.

I had been at my Tai chi exercises for maybe an hour and a half, when I heard splashing from the pool. I looked. Long brown braid, glisteningly wet lithe body, pale peach skin, and long sculpted arms stared straight back at me. Shimatta, it was the one person I had hoped it wouldn't be. I then threw myself into my stances, but I turned it up a notch.

I vaguely heard the splashing stop, and a feeling that I was being watched occurred at the same time. I just knew what was awaiting me if I turned around. Wet hair clinging to a beautiful round face, amethyst eyes staring at me mischievously, all belonging to the one person I was trying to avoid. Ah, Nataku, give me strength.

When the staring went on for longer than I would like to admit, I spun around and barked at him. "MAXWELL! Stop staring at me!"

He snapped out of what seemed to be a daydream, and swam over to the other side of the pool. He then climbed out. The water cascaded down his back and his skimpy swimming trunks. He sashayed his way to the sliding glass door of the house. I was just about to sigh in relief, when he turned around and waved at me.

I felt a slight heat come to my face. I couldn't possibly be blushing, could I? No, I don't blush. I have more self-control than that. Warriors don't blush.

Nataku, I was glad when he finally left. I returned to my practicing, harder than before. I refuse to let my infatuation with the braided American disturb my thoughts. I was supposed to be keeping a clear mind when I do my Tai chi, but he was just too damn present at that moment.

After an hour or more, I returned inside. I walked slowly through the house, wishing that I would, and wouldn't get a glimpse of Duo. Part of me was relieved that he was nowhere to be found.

A shower was in order, and then maintenance on Shenlong. I headed to the hangar. Loud music was coming from Deathscythe Hell. Duo must be playing in there. I avoided passing his Gundam, and walked over to Shenlong. 'Nataku, give me strength. I need it more than ever.' I silently prayed to Merian's spirit.

I climbed up into the cockpit, and sat down. Duo really had his music up loud. I needed to have something of my own to block out his. I searched in a bag that I had stashed inside for emergencies. I opened it and inside was a CD that I had never seen. Duo must have put it in here.

There was a bow and a note attached to it. I opened the note, curious about what the boy had to say to me. "Wu-man! You need to lighten up a bit. Here I got ya this. I had to scour a few places to find it, but I think you'll appreciate it. Just listen to it. Especially number five. – Duo."

I removed the bow, and looked at the name on the case. "Dave Matthews Band – Under the Table and Dreaming." What an interesting name. I turned the CD over, and looked at the track list. Some of the names of the songs where laughable at best, but the one that Duo had recommended was called "Typical Situation." That piqued my curiosity a bit more. I decided to listen to it. I placed it in Nakatu's disk drive and turned up the volume of the interior speakers so I could hear it.

~ Ten fingers we have each
Nine planets around the sun repeat
Eight ball is the last if you triumphant be
Seven oceans pummel the shores of the sea

* It's a typical situation
In these typical times
Too many choices
Everybody's happy
Everybody's free
We'll keep the big door open
Everyone will come around
Why are you different
Why are you that way
If you don't get in line
We'll lock you away

Six senses feeling
Five around a sense of self
Four seasons turn on and turn off
I can see three corners from this corner
Two's a perfect number
But one, well

* Everybody's happy
Everybody's free
We'll keep the big door open
Everyone will come around
Why are you different
Why are you that way
If you don't get in line
We'll lock you away *

It's a typical situation
In these typical times
We can't do a thing about it
Too many choices ~

I was amazed by the use of the different instruments. The mixture should not have worked. I heard a guitar, a saxophone, a fiddle, drums, and an electric guitar. Somehow the players in this group managed to blend perfectly. The lead singer had a raspy voice, like someone who had been smoking for years. It was a very nice, mellow song.

I sat in Nataku and listened to the rest of the CD. Some of the songs were just as good as the first one, but some were just beyond my comprehension. Nataku's screen told me that there were 34 tracks on the disk, but there seemed to be quite a few that it just skipped over. I was puzzled. Then I read the name of the last song. #34, so it was some sort of a joke.

I sat back and let the CD repeat a few times, when I distinctly heard Duo's music cut off. I turned mine off as well, and looked out of the cockpit. There was a black blur that sped out of the hangar, and Yuy was coming out of Deathscythe Hell.

What the hell did he do to Duo? I have never see the American run that far that fast. I decided that I wanted to know.

I walked over to the Japanese boy. "Yuy, what is wrong with Maxwell?"

He glared at me. "He kissed me."

I could not have heard him correctly. "Nani? So why did he run?"

"I hit him. Chang, dinner is finished. Excuse me."

"You what? You struck him?" I felt a surge of anger take control of me for a second. Before I could stop myself, I reached out and punched him right in the face. I then calmly stepped back. I looked at the brown haired boy, and he just glared at me.

"Wakatta."

"What do you understand?" I spat at him, the last of my anger getting the better of me.

"I understand your feelings."

"You understand nothing." I turned my back on him, and walked into the house for dinner, only to walk past the dining room and into my room.

I'm glad that someone here understands my feelings. Because I don't. I don't do inner turmoil, but I have become very confused in the last hour of my life. And so I sit here, typing this in, trying to understand myself.

Nataku, give me some guidance.

~ Chang Wufei
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Part 3
Title: Gundam Diaries Part 3 ~ Quatre

Author: Makoto Sagara

Pairings: 2+1, 3x4, 5+2

Warnings: Language, violence, angst, shonen ai, confuzzlement

Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing, I only wish I did. It is owned by Sunrise, Bandai, and a bunch of other companies. I don't make ANY money from this piece of Fanfiction. No one is nice enough to pay me. (*big smile*)

March 29th, AC 195

Oh, Allah, I am very worried about my friends. Duo missed dinner, and I feel extreme pain coming from him. Wufei also missed dinner, and I feel confusion from him. Heero ate with Trowa and I, but the Japanese boy was colder and stonier than normal. What has happened here? I feel it all has to do with the American, but I have no idea what.

I tried to bring up the conversation with my lover, but Trowa said that if we were meant to know, someone would tell us. As if that would happen! On the other hand, I might be able to get Duo to tell me. Trowa has been very understanding about my sixth sense since we met, but this time I KNOW I have to do something before this all gets out of hand.

Maybe I should start from the beginning of this all. To tell you the truth, I have known about Duo's love for Heero. When I first met the braided pilot of Deathscythe and the stony brown haired pilot of Wing, I knew that Duo was in love. I mean you could just tell from the way he looked at Heero. There was this twinkle in his eye that was only there when he was doing something mischievous. To see them together breaks my heart, because the Japanese boy seems only interested in his missions, and telling people that he will kill them, Duo included.

Now, when we all finally got Wufei, or should I say when Duo got Wufei, to join us, I could tell there was another reason that he came, besides for the good of numbers. He seemed to look at the American the same way Duo looked at Heero. Only if he didn't think you were watching, would he slip and show some sort of emotion towards him.

Heero is an enigma. He is very mission oriented. He seems to like us enough. He never declined joining us other Gundam pilots as a team. I suppose he saw some sort of efficiency in that. More missions completed with a team than on our own. Allah, sometimes I want to smack him and show him the jewel he has in the love Duo possesses. And then again, I want to show Duo the love that Wufei has for him.

Duo is the bond of our team. If he were to leave, Wufei would go off on his own. Trowa and I would still be together, but we decided to become a team a while before we met the others. Heero would just do whatever Dr. J told him to do. I would be very upset if that were to happen. Nothing could make me want to lose my new friends.

Well, everything was fine, or so I thought when I woke up and checked my laptop. No mission plan arrived for today. I got the idea that the same went for Trowa as well, because he was cooking a big breakfast when I came in the kitchen. I made some tea and sat down to wait for the others. Heero arrived next and had some of the coffee that was sitting in the pot. Wufei then sat down at the table and glowered. He isn't much of a morning person.

Breakfast was almost completely cooked when Duo finally trudged in, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He was still dressed in his boxers and t-shirt, but then he hardly ever dresses for breakfast. As he sat down, Trowa brought breakfast to the table; strawberry pancakes, bacon, eggs, and toast. He made Duo's favorite. That was very sweet of him. The last mission was hardest on Duo, for he had the most damage done to his Gundam.

Duo's eyes lit up as he noticed what had been made, and dug in. He started talking about this really silly B Horror movie we watched last night. I joined in and we ended up talking most of the time. Trowa smiled slightly at us. Wufei looked like he would have smiled if that were something a warrior did. Heero just glowered and ate.

I noticed a little odd movement from Wufei, so I looked. He was trying to tell Duo that he had strawberry syrup on his mouth. Duo noticed this too, licked the syrup off, and thanked him. Wufei's eyes got a bit big, and suddenly, he stood up and left the room. That signaled the end of breakfast, for Heero got up and left for the study. I helped Trowa clean the kitchen, Duo headed off for the T.V. room.

After we cleaned everything up, I gave my green-eyed lover a quick kiss and told him I would be in the music room for a while. He smiled and said he was going into the gym to practice a few tricks for the circus. We parted and I sighed. Sometimes, we can do things together, but there are just a few things we like to do separately. I love playing with Trowa, he is excellent, but I had wanted to play a new song that Rashid had sent to me a few weeks ago.

Two hours after breakfast, I went out into the T.V. room, and joined Duo watching some talk show called Jerry Springer. It seems that on Earth in the time before the colonies, this show was very popular. To me, it was very messed up, and all the violence seemed unreal somehow.

I must have been sitting there for about 15 minutes of this show about hidden transvestites with Duo, when Trowa emerged from the gym and joined us. He took one look at the show, and turned to me. Whispering in my ear, he said, "Small one, if they still made this show, do you think Relena would haul Duo and Heero on it?"

I don't really know why, but I started giggling uncontrollably. I suppose the image of Duo on one arm and Relena on the other, pulling Heero from side to side while he yelled, "OMAE O KOROSU," was just too much.

All of a sudden, Duo stood up and tossed the remotes on the couch. I suppose we were slightly rude and exclusive in our behavior. He walked towards the study, only to reappear a minute later looking very depressed. He then headed towards the hangar. Probably to work on Deathscythe.

A little while later, Wufei returned inside to head up towards his room. He seemed to be taking his time walking through the house. I wondered what was going on with him. About fifteen minutes later, he headed off to the hangar. I made a mental note to myself to thank Rashid for buying a house with the T.V. room fully open. It made snooping on the others much easier.

Trowa changed the channel to an old classic movie called Braveheart. I had always thought the guy who plays the main character was cute. It was a pretty long movie, so I settled in for the long haul. After about half way through the movie, an intermission came, and Trowa and I decided to take a late lunch. We had sandwiches and some sodas, and took them back out to the T.V. We had just settled back down, when Heero walked out of the study.

"Doko wa baka?" (1)

"DUO is in the hangar working on Shinigami."

"Doko wa Chang?"

"Wufei is also in the hangar, possibly meditating, or working on Shenlong." I answered him. I turned around, during our favorite part, to glare at him. "Why do you ask?"

"No reason. Ja." The brown haired boy returned back to the study.

When the movie was over, I turned to Trowa. "I'm going to cook dinner. You can go practice more if you like, after you set the dinner table." I tried to sound very serious, but ended up giggling instead.

"Of course, little one, anything you wish." He set the table and then went back to the gym.

Heero came back out of the study, looking like he could have used a good cup of strong coffee. I made a pot while waiting for my stew to look like stew and not soup.

"Arigatou." The boy said, while pouring himself a cup. "Is dinner almost complete?"

"H-hai, in about 15 minutes I suppose. Would you please go get Duo and Wufei from the hangar."

"Ninmu Ryokai. (2)" And he walked away.

A few minutes later, I heard some running coming from the hallway. I saw a vague black streak pass me. Two minutes later, a very upset Wufei walked right past me, heading upstairs.

That was the last time I saw either of them. When Heero came upstairs to join Trowa and I, he had what looked like a bruise forming on his left cheek. "Heero, where did you get that bruise?"

"Don't worry about it. It's nothing."

I looked at Trowa. He shrugged in response. There was nothing left to say, and the meal passed in silence. When we were finished, Heero went back to the study, locking the door behind him, while I cleaned up with Trowa.

We tried to figure who would have hit Heero like that. Our only options were Duo and Wufei. Neither of us wanted to think about why either of those two would have hit Heero. Now, though, as I sit typing this, I can't help but wonder who hit Heero, and why would both Wufei and Duo miss a meal? I just don't understand what is going on between those three.

~ Quatre Raberba Winner

(1) Doko wa baka? ~ Where is the baka?

(2) Ninmu Ryokai ~ Mission accepted.
-top-
Part 4
Title: Gundam Diaries: Part 4 ~ Heero

Author: Makoto Sagara

Pairings: 2+1+2, 3x4, 5+2

Warnings: Shonen ai, angst, language, violence, confuzzlement

Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing, I only wish I did. It is owned by Sunrise, Bandai, and a bunch of other evil companies. Also, I made no money writing this. No one is nice enough to pay me to read what I write. This chapter was inspired by the song "Love Me, Leave Me Alone" by Jewel Kilcher.

March 29th, AC 195…. 21:00:00

Chang hit me. Maxwell kissed me. Quatre kept asking me questions about the bruise on my face. Maxwell kissed me…

What the hell is going on here? Maxwell never kissed me before. I thought he just regarded me as a friend. Chang obviously has a thing for the braided baka, even I have noticed that. Especially at breakfast, when Duo licked that syrup off his mouth. Chang's eyes got about twice their normal size. I may be cold, but not stupid. I have to watch people as my job.

Of course, now that I think about it, Duo does seem to room with me a lot. He called me his best friend. I got confused when he said that. I have never really had a close friend before. Hell, I never had a friend before Duo. Something about the pilot of 02 makes me confused anyway. That's why I try not to talk much to him.

I don't know how I feel about Maxwell. I try not to think about feelings. They aren't productive to my missions. Maybe Winner is right. I should try and loosen up, but I have no idea how to do that. All I know is the word Ninmu. I hate that word.

The image of Duo's round violet eyes looking shocked and hurt after he kissed me and I hit him is all that I can see. He seemed so happy as he wrapped his arms around me dreamily. I wanted to kiss him, but when he kissed me, I hit him in the stomach. I hit the baka.

I never show him anything but contempt, and disgust. I have tried to be friendly, but then I have a mission and have to talk to Dr. J, and my whole attitude about Duo changes. Dr. J thinks that Maxwell may change my priorities about the missions. He tries to tell me to stay away from him singly as much as possible. I don't tell him that I board with him at Winner's estates.

I never guessed that Duo wouldn't show up at dinner. He likes to eat entirely too much. Too many times, I have seen him eat his share, and then start on someone else's. The braided baka is not greedy. He just likes to eat.

Chang never showed up either. He never seemed to have a problem with me before now. I knew that he was starting to have feelings for Maxwell, but I didn't think that he would even admit them to himself enough to hit me for it. I knew that he would glare at me off and on when I was particularly cold to Maxwell. Not even Duo noticed those. It seems Quatre has, though.

The Arab seems to pick up on feelings and emotions more than it is normal. I vaguely remember a mission where he said something about Barton being in trouble. Sure enough, when we arrived at the safe house of the moment, the European was bandaged in several places. I chalked it up to strong intuition, but it seems to almost be like a sixth sense for him. Although, with those two, it could have been just intuition. Of course, in our line of "work" injuries occur often.

I think I will try and get some sleep soon. I have a few more places to hack into before I get some rest for this mission I have with Barton. It will be two weeks long. That should be enough time for the baka, Winner, and Chang to settle something out about this situation. I don't want to be near it when it comes to a conclusion.

So, I will just end this. I have to go back to work.

~ Yuy Heero
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Part 5
Title: Gundam Diaries: Part 5 ~ Duo

Author: Makoto Sagara

Pairings: 2+1, 3x4, 5+2

Warnings: Shonen ai, angst, violence, language, confuzzlement, lime

Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing, I only wish I did. It is owned by Sunrise, Bandai, and a bunch of other evil companies. Also, I made no money writing this. No one is nice enough to pay me to read what I write. Also, this seems to be the longest part to date, due to the massive amounts of dialogue.

March 30th, AC 195…20:00:00

Ok, so I'm still here. Heero never kicked in my door to kill me. I woke up this morning, from my closet I might add, checked my computer (no mission), and slowly walked downstairs. My stomach was really mad at me for missing dinner last night. I peeked into every room, and froze when I didn't see Hee-chan in the kitchen. Only Q-man and Fei where there.

"Where's Hee-chan and Tro?"

"Mission. Two weeks long." Q said.

"Man that's gotta suck, Q-bean." I slumped into a chair and glanced at Fei. He looked kinda amused. "You sick, Fei?"

"Nani?"

"You look like you might smile. And I KNOW you don't smile, so you gotta be sick or something."

"Hn, baka, shut up and eat." He placed a plate in front of me. Pancakes? Wu cooked pancakes? There is something going on here. I looked at Quatre, and all he did was shrug.

"Wu-man, why'd ya cook pancakes?"

"I thought you might enjoy them. Now eat, before I change my mind and make rice and milk for breakfast."

"You…" I stopped. Wufei had never thought about what I might enjoy. The rest of his statement kicked in, belatedly. "Whoa, no need to get crazy, Fei. Pancakes are the food of Shinigami, not rice. That's your department." I dug in and demolished my plate.

"So," Q-man started conversationally, "are you going to tell me why you missed dinner last night, Duo?"

"Um… I'd rather not." I tried to take interest in the syrup on my plate.

"Heero was sporting a rather nasty bruise on his face last night. Do you know why?"

"No." I looked up. That was news to me. "He…WHAT?"

"After I sent him to extract you and Wufei from the hangar, he came back up with a black eye. When I asked him, he said it was nothing. I could tell he was lying. So I didn't push him, but I will ask you."

"I… I, I didn't do it. I was way outta Dodge before I could do that." I said quietly.

"I did." Wufei replied icily.

Q blinked. "Wufei, you did it? Why?"

"He hit Maxwell. I can't allow that." He said nonchalantly.

"Ok. Duo is that why you missed dinner?"

"I'd rather not talk about it now, Quat-RE. I would like to finish breakfast first before you start the third degree." I did finish it, and walked out of the kitchen as quickly as humanly possible.

Sitting on the couch later, I thought about the conversation. Wufei, Mr. I-don't-need-anyone-I-am-fine-working-on-my-own Chang, hit Heero over ME? It just didn't add up. Wufei never showed any type of concern over anyone's well being, unless we were seriously injured, and then it was because he was worried about the missions. I just couldn't come up with an acceptable answer as to why he would do that.

"Duo?"

I looked up, and there was Quatre, looking very worried. "Yeah?"

"I… I apologize for questioning you like that at breakfast. I was out of place."

"Nah, it's cool." I gave him one of my famous grins.

"Good. May I sit with you?" I patted the spot next to me, and he sat down. "I would like to know what occurred between you and Heero, but I won't push you to tell." He gave me a small smile.

I thought about it for a moment. It might help me if I told Q-man, but I had never really thought about talking to anyone about this whole thing.

"Ok, it's like this. I'm in love with Heero, and well I was kinda thinking about him while I was in Shini, and I fell asleep listening to some music, and he appeared, and well, to be honest, I thought I was dreaming still. He called me a baka, and I put my arms around his neck and kissed him. He punched me in the stomach, and that's when I woke up. I tore outta there like a bat outta hell, and hid in my closet. I was so afraid that he was going to kill me. I even locked the door I was so afraid." I stopped. I felt a tear fall down my face. "And, now he hates me. I just know it. I went too far, and now my best friend hates me."

Quatre took a deep breath. "I don't think Heero hates you, but that really does explain his cryptic message this morning. 'Tell Maxwell it's ok.' I think he has forgiven you."

I looked up. "He…he…he said that?"

"Yes, and well, I suppose that explains why he had that shiner too. I'd say Wufei got him GOOD. I wish I had taken a picture. He looked really ridiculous." He started giggling.

I tried to imagine Hee-chan with a huge shiner, saying "Omae o korosu." It just didn't hold the same weight. I started snickering. "I see what you mean."

"Now, do you want me to tell you a little secret? I know I should wait for him to tell you, but I doubt he ever will. He's too stubborn about this kind of thing."

I looked up in confusion. "Huh? What are you talking about? A secret? Who has a secret, besides me?"

"Wufei."

"Wu-man has a secret? Do tell." I was almost dying to know now.

"Well, I know this is not my place to tell you, and Trowa would be angry for me telling you, but I suppose what you do with this information is up to you."

"Spill it. Stop dragging this out." I really was dying to find out NOW.

"He, he's in love with you."

"Huh?" Boy, I was really racking up those smart points this morning.

"He's in love with you. He has been ever since you convinced him to join us as a team. I knew that as soon as I met him. Just like I knew you were in love with Heero when I met you both for the first time." The blond took a deep breath. "I was hoping that you would notice on your own, but I see that's like having Heero notice you're in love with him on his own."

"Whoa, back up the train here! Wufei, Mr. Silent and deadly, honour-bound till the day I die, is in love with me??? No way this is real! I must be dreaming still." I pinched myself. Nope, not dreaming. SHIT!

"He is. But he will never admit it to anyone. I think he is having trouble admitting it to himself." Quatre looked at me worriedly. "Now, Duo, don't do anything stupid. Wufei would not appreciate any of your little jokes."

"Q-bean, you don't have to worry about me teasing the poor boy. I do that enough as it is. I just think I have a few things to work out. I'll be in the study for a while." I stood up and walked outta the room.

I really had no idea where I was going, until I walked into the kitchen doorway. Fei was there, washing the dishes. I looked him over. He does have a nice bod, and sometimes it's okay to talk to him. He's quiet, and he likes to read a lot. He rants about justice and honour. His favorite line is "It would be dishonourable to fight a weak onna." He's got his own warped way of thinking, but he never goes back on anything he says he will do.

I was still silently musing this over, when Fei turned around.

"Maxwell, is there something wrong?"

I snapped out of my reverie. "Um, no. I was just thinking."
"About what? You normally voice everything you think."

"Why did you punch Heero in the face?"
"I told you."

"Bullshit. Spill it."

"He… he hit you. It was not an honourable thing to do."

"But why?" I looked at him seriously.

"Because…because he was acting like a jerk. THAT'S WHY!" He brushed past me and walked outside into the yard.

Well, I got the answer I was looking for, kinda. The only time Fei gets that angry is during battle. I looked at the sink. The dishes were only half done. I walked up and finished them quickly for Wufei.

I was serious when I said I had never thought about sleeping with him. It just never occurred to me that he would be interested in other guys. But then, it never occurred to me that Wufei would be interested in ANYONE, let alone me.

I thought about all those times where it had just been us. Like the one time, Une had us locked in an OZ cell, and the air had just about run out. He sounded like he wanted to say something to me, but I had passed out. When we got out, all I could think about was seeing Hee-chan again, and being grateful that the God of Death was able to wreck havoc again.

I guess in some ways, I'm just as single minded as Relena. Of course, I would never stalk someone and beg him or her to kill me. That's a bit much. Ok, that's a LOT much. Lately though, she has been backing off, and letting us have our privacy.

At least now, she doesn't hunt us all down, and break our cover. I guess when she got the responsibility of being the Queen of the World she grew up. I say it was about damn time. I mean, there is nothing wrong with the girl, besides the fact that she's spoiled to no end, a stalker, and scary sometimes. Sometimes, she is actually nice.

I walked into the study and looked at all the books. Q-man has a nice selection. I looked over at the collection of classics. Hmm, seems I forgot that the Maguanacs stay at some of the safe houses too. Arabian Nights seems somewhat appropriate for all the Arabs that stay here. I picked it up and sat down at the desk, kicking my feet up on the top.

I must have stayed there all morning, because Q came in. I looked up and saw him peering at me quietly. "Yes?"

"Lunch time. Wufei made it."

"Oh, okay. I'll be there in a few minutes." I marked the page and stood up.

"Duo, what happened after we talked? Wufei seems to be fuming over something."

"I asked him why he hit Hee-chan."

"What did he say?"

"He blew up and called him a jerk, then he stomped out of the kitchen."

"Hm…" The small Arab seemed lost in thought.

"What?"

"Nothing. I'll see you at lunch." He left me in the study, still standing there.

I had no idea what to think after that. I mean Q-bean sometimes gets really quiet, but this time he wasn't silent. He was down right cryptic. I wanted to know what was up.

I headed towards the kitchen. Wufei was there, eating wordlessly. There was another place set and food on the table, but Q was nowhere to be found.

"Where'd Quatre go?"

"TV room. He said he had some paperwork to do, something about WEI."

"Ah." That was strange. He said he'd be in here for lunch. I sat down and put a bunch of salad and some of the grilled chicken on my plate. "Fei?"

"My name is..."

"Wu-Fei. I know."

"What is it, Maxwell?"

"I, I'm sorry that I made you angry this morning."

"I wasn't angry at you. I was disgusted in myself." He snorted and resumed eating.

"Why?"

"Because…I have been showing too much emotion lately. That is something that a warrior does NOT do during a war."

I looked up at him. He certainly didn't look pleased with something. I ate a little, and then I jumped from my seat. I walked over to the other side of the table. I didn't really have a plan, but when I was standing over the top of Wufei, I just leaned down and kissed him.

"Thank you, Fei," I whispered to him. I then righted myself, and headed back to the study. I just was not going to stay there and have him hit me too.

I walked past Quatre in the TV room.

"Finish early?"

"Not hungry right now." I walked even faster. I did NOT feel like spilling what I had just done with Fei. I bolted the door behind me, and picked up my book where I had left off.

I was thoroughly enjoying my book, when a banging on the door interrupted me.

"MAXWELL! OPEN THIS DOOR!" Wufei bellowed. "I WANT TO TALK TO YOU!"

That's a change. HE wants to TALK to ME? Hm, I might just have to let him in to talk. I opened the door, and saw a very red Fei-kun, and a very apprehensive Quatre behind him.

"Well, come on in." I opened the door a little wider. "But leave the blond there." I said with a wink.

He turned. "Excuse us." He then shut the door, and looked at me.

"What in the GODS name were you thinking?"

"I wasn't thinking. I was thanking."

"You…you…you KISSED ME!"

"Shhh… Do you want Quatre to hear you?" I hissed.

He sputtered for a moment. Then he gained his composure. "Why did you do that, Maxwell?"

"Look, if you want me to call you Wu-Fei, you have to call me Duo."

"Whatever. Answer the question."

"Because that was a very nice thing you did. You deserved to be rewarded."

"W-w-what?" Looks like I wasn't the only one having trouble talking today.

"You hit Heero because he hit me. I think that was a very charming thing to do. Not to mention, the big shiner you left on his eye." I sniggered

"Max… Duo, this is not a laughing matter. I did not intend for you to kiss me."

Heh, like I planned on it. "It wasn't as if I planned on kissing you either. I just did."

He was silent and stern faced.

"Look, Wufei, I'm sorry if I made this uncomfortable for you. I just wanted to thank you f…"

I was cut off from the rest of what I was going to say by him grabbing me and kissing me back. Oh, Gods, it was the slowest and sweetest kiss I have ever had. After my initial shock, I melted into his arms.

I draped my arms around his neck, and slowly slid my tongue over his lips, seeking entrance to his mouth. Slowly, his lips parted, and the kiss deepened in its urgency and heat. I wrapped my tongue around his and slowly got into a war over who was in control of it. He tasted so good. Like almonds and chicken. I suppose he hadn't had time to brush his teeth. Oh, who cares? He was delicious.

Finally, gasping for air, we parted. "Wow, Fei, if I had known you could kiss like THAT, I would have done it a while ago."

He snickered. "Leave it to you to make a joke at a time like this."

"It's not a joke." I grabbed his head and brought him in for another kiss.

He pulled back from me. "I wont be used."

"You're not. Now come here before I jump you." I pulled him back towards me.

He sighed. "Maxwell, you are not interested in me like this. You are using me because of Yuy's actions yesterday. Please stop."

I LOOKED at him, annoyed now. "Look, Chang, if I said I wasn't using you, I'm not. My motto is 'I run and hide, but I never lie.' And I hold to that. Now, if you are still interested, I am." I kissed him deeply again.

He moaned into the kiss, and began moving his hands over my back. The sound of his moan went straight to my cock. I was rock hard in seconds. I almost broke off the kiss when I felt a similar hardness coming from him. It was my turn to moan as his hard length rubbed against mine.

He broke it off again. It was really starting to get to me. I had to pout. "Fei, why'd ya do that?"

"I will not take advantage of you in your current state." He started to head out of the room.

"What if I want to take advantage of YOU in your current state?" I called after him.

"It will not happen. I'm sorry, Maxwell." He opened the door and left.

I stormed over to the door. "DAMN YOU CHANG!" I screamed at his back, and slammed the door.

I walked back over to the chair, and started crying. First, I kiss Heero and he punches me. Then, I kiss Wufei, and he says he wont "take advantage of me." Well, shit, what if I wanted to be taken advantage of? Fuck, Fuck, FUCK! Nothing has been going right this week.

I heard the door creak open slowly. "Fuck off, Chang! I don't want to talk to you right now."

"Duo? It's me." Came the small reply.

I looked up. "Q? Go away."

"What happened here? I know something is wrong." He came over and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Please, tell me."

"I said, GO AWAY!" I screamed at him.

He backed away slowly, and shut the door behind him. I know I was over-board with him, but I just wanted to be alone for a while. Shimatta, can't a guy cry in peace? I snatched up the book I had been reading and ran to my room again.

I flopped on the bed and started crying once again. I must have cried myself to unconsciousness. It was dark when I woke up.

I groggily walked to the bathroom across the hall. I looked like hell. The small hairs at the back of my neck were creeping out of my braid. My bangs were standing straight up, and I had red circles around my eyes. Any idiot could have seen that I had been weeping.

I smelled the sweet aroma of some dish that Quatre usually cooked. Last time I inquired what was in it, he said something about wild hare, dried sage, and some other kind of meat, but he wouldn't tell me. And since I had to eat it, I didn't really ask much after that. It was delicious after all.

Sometimes, with Quatre, it's give and take on what he can and can't cook. But this seemed like some traditional Arabic dish that he was comfortable fixing. Now, when it comes to the food I like to make, Q-man could burn down the kitchen. I heard Rashid one day saying something about "Master Quatre" burning down a camp and causing the local authorities to come and see what the matter was.

Anyway, I walked into the dining room and sat down at my usual spot. That's when I noticed that Wufei wasn't there.

I walked into the kitchen. "Where's Fei?"

"Still outside. Would you set the table for the three of us? Afterwards, I'll go get Wufei."

"Sure, no problem." I grabbed three sets of everything we were going to need. "Are you fixing anything else besides that roast-thingy?"

"Bread and salad."

"You want me to fix the salad?"

"It's already done. It's sitting in the refrigerator. You can take it out and set it on the table if you want."

"Kay." I set the table quickly and grabbed the salad, placing it in the middle of the table section we were going to be using. I then placed my head on my arms in the space next to my chair.

"Duo, I'm afraid that is not proper dining etiquette. Would you please sit up?" Quatre said softly.

"Whatever." I sat up and looked across the table to the seat now taken by Wufei.

Dinner was cold and icy, as far as company went. Quatre tried to keep a conversation going between us, but the cold stares he got shut him up after about five minutes.

I finished in record time, it took me about 35 minutes to finish up, and excused myself from the table. I had made it almost all the way to my room, before someone grabbed my arm. I turned around, and brought my other hand down on their head.

"K'so, Maxwell. Itai." Wufei.

I spun around. "What do you want?" I glared at him icily, quickly slipping into Shinigami mode. "Let me go, now!"

He released my arm. "I…"

"I don't give a shit. Leave me alone." I snatched open my door and slammed it in his face.

He actually looked hurt when I yelled at him. I don't know whether or not I want to deal with him. He's been getting under my skin all day. I don't want to even face him. I have been crying again. I just can't seem to stop the tears.

Diary, I think I want him, but I can't be sure. I mean the guy put himself in dangerous territory to defend me. I put myself in dangerous territory kissing both him and Hee-chan. I suppose I deserved what I got with both of them. Father Maxwell, I need some help here. Sister Helen, I wish I had you here so I could ask your advice. I could really use it now.

I'm kinda tired, so I think I will stop now, and get some sleep. If I'm lucky, I'll get assigned a solo mission in the morning, or something else equally nice. Night.

~ Duo Maxwell
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